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Do kids lie about everything?

tankh21's picture

Is it normal for a 13 year old to lie about everything even little things? I know kids lie but I am curious is it normal for them to lie about everything?

Comments

lieutenant_dad's picture

Tank, I'm going to be blunt with you:

Your BM is high conflict. Your DH is a tool. Your skids are going to be majorly effed up because of it.

You can't fix it. You can't worry about it. You will drive yourself nuts if you keep asking all these questions all the time.

Keep disengaging. If the kid is lying, reply with "oh, okay" and move along. Let DH and BM handle it. If they don't, then they can deal with the consequences.

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

No and it is not normal. My son is 13.  He doesnt lie - to me at least - and I have not heard anything from anyone else around him being dishonest.  Children should be able to trust you enough to tell you the truth, even if it results in bad consequences for them or you.

You may have a compulsive pathological liar on your hands  -  or an environment of low trust or disrespect. It can be turned around.

ESMOD's picture

I guess it depends upon what you consider lies or what you are referring to.

It's normal for kids to tell lies to keep from getting in trouble at just about any age.

It's normal for kids to make things up to make themselves appear smarter/cooler etc...

It's normal for kids to make things up to protect other people.

It's normal for kids to tell lies to get out of doing things... (like saying they are allergic to something they aren't...like broccoli)

It can be normal for kids to try to one up or show they know something you don't... even if it isn't true.  (They say the sky is green when you say it's blue..just to be contrary).

 

Edit to add that while it may be normal for kids to lie under these situations... that doesn't mean that it is the right thing for them to do and that they shouldn't be called out for their falsehoods by their parents.

But, as stated above, these lies from the kids are likely for attention and I wouldn't give them a minute of my time which is what the kdis want from you... a reaction.

ndc's picture

No.  Most kids I know lie from time to time - to get or do something they want, to try to get out of trouble, etc.  But most of the time they tell the truth.  There's something seriously amiss if a kid is lying about everything.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Quickest way to make it to the top of my s*** list is to be a liar... I think it shows a lack of character, among other things. That's not normal at all.  If he's lying now, he's going to be a sneaky little s*** later.

What's your DH doing to stop this? He can't seriously just be accepting a liar. Right?

tankh21's picture

Kid lies about everything you cannot believe anything he says. What really can be done? Take away things from him. The cell phone has already been taken away.

Iamwoman's picture

No, not all kid lie about everything. All kids lie, but definitely not all of the time. DD and YSS lie sometimes, but they are both laughably transparent.

OSS13 lies all. of. the. time. - he is ridiculously good at lying, and lies about little and big things both. DH falls into the trap of sometimes believing his lies because that's his son and he wants to believe he is good, but I know always, and DH knows deep down inside that we can't trust a single word that comes out of OSS13's mouth.

No, it's not normal. I am convinced that my OSS13 has mental issues and will someday be a real danger to someone or society in general.

notsobad's picture

It’s not normal to lie about everything.

Narcissists lie about everything, even when the truth would be more pleasant they will still lie. Lie, “The dog got out of the yard, you didn’t lock the gate.” Truth, “There was a suspicious truck with a couple of dogs in the back, I think they stole our dog.” They’ll then go on and on about how it’s your fault the dog is gone because you didn’t lock the gate.

They tell big lies, “I was in a car accident as a child that almost killed me”. They tell little lies, “Traffic was brutal today”.

I know a few of them and nothing they ever say is true, there may be a grain of truth in there but they will twist it and lie to creat the most drama possible!

Journey0623's picture

My 5yo rarely ever lies.... he is so honest.. my 11yo SD? She is pathological about her lying and does it all the time