You are here

Always and forever take three....

tankh21's picture

So yesterday I told DH that I wanted to plan a trip camping at the end of October so I could get away and relax.  YSS was sitting next to him and I wasn't trying to hurt his feelings but apparently DH thought I was trying to.  DH said that I said that on purpose in front of his kid just to be a douche.  He said that his kids are welcome anytime camping with us and that I can either deal with it or move on.  What do you think about this?  I honestly wasn't even trying to hurt the kid's feelings.  

Comments

Harry's picture

Couples should have time alone.  Couples can go camping with out kids or SK as long there someone to watch the kids.  There family vacation and Couples Vacation. There are adult activities, as gambling, you do not have kids in a casino. Drinking,  most people who go to Las Vagas don’t bring kids. 

hereiam's picture

There's nothing wrong with doing things as a couple, without kids, but why make plans in front of them?

However, your husband's comment was asinine.

SteppedOut's picture

"But why make plans in front of them".... OP was likely just having what she thought was a normal conversation with her husband. It's hard to police what you think and say all the time when skid is around. Further, should she always have to?

Good Lord, what if this, or that or something else (which is a normal everyday conversation) could potentially cause skid to feel bad (for no good reason), should I say it, or wait until skid isn't around. Having to think that before having any conversation...that sounds mentally exhausting. And would prevent me from ever wanting to talk when skid is around which doesn't sound healthy for a marriage. 

Survivingstephell's picture

Next time Dh gets frisky, go ask the skids if they want to join in, God forbid they feel left out!  (eyeroll)  

tog redux's picture

I think your DH is projecting his own douchiness onto you. Can't he discuss his concerns like a grown-up rather than calling you names and accusing you of things you deny?

I wouldn't put up with that, long-term.  That's B.S. Deal with it or move on?!  BYE.

Harry's picture

Really cared for there kids,  They would not of devorice, screwing up there kids.  They are guilty that they put themselves first, in doing what they wanted to do, Getting  devorice.  Now they are guilty, for what they did.  So they have to  make everyone else the bad person.  Because they don’t want to be the really bad person they are.   “You had kids, but you could not stick around for 18 years.”  Your life was so bad, you had to leave ? When you had kids you made a commitment. then you and broke it.  New wife did not make that commitment !  And should get couples time. The kid is already screwed up, it doesn’t matter 

Cooooookies's picture

Uhhhh it's not always a bad thing to divorce.  Staying in any form of unhealthy relationship is horrible for kids.  The only thing that screws up the children is when each parent cannot provide a stable home.  When each parent cannot actually be a parent to their child(ren).  When they cannot provide love, guidance, nurturing, discipline when needed.  Divorce has nothing to do with it.  A lot of married parents don't provide stability, etc. either.  

Tankh - as a lot of us has said before: your DH treats you like a second class citizen.  He consistently shows you that his kids are number 1 and you have no say.  Take a back seat, sit down, zip your mouth, don't have an opinion and just put up with all the b.s.  I really just think you could either be alone and much happier.  OR find a man that actually treats you with love and respect.  You deserve so much more.

momjeans's picture

DH said that I said that on purpose in front of his kid just to be a douche.  He said that his kids are welcome anytime camping with us and that I can either deal with it or move on.  What do you think about this? 

What do I think? I think if my DH said this to me my vagina would make the Windows shutdown sound. 

Ugh. tankh21, this is not good...

tankh21's picture

LOL trust me that doesn't even phase him he would have to have a sex drive for that.  But you are too funny.  

Cover1W's picture

DH used to do this with me, maybe a bit nicer though, and for some time I agreed because SD14 (when she was younger) would freak out every time. Because she must be included in any vacation at all.

But DH got tired of the secrecy, as we couldn't talk about it when we returned either. We talked, I insisted SD must get used to not having everything all the time. Eventually he came around and she got used to hearing about our trips. She claimed to not care UNLESS it was somewhere she wanted to go.  The last time I said anything about it to her I just said "you don't get to choose where or when vacations for other people happen, or even for you until you can pay for it yourself."

If your DH doesn't agree to letting his kids learn about reality and how adults can have healthy relationships, can you say yours is truly healthy? I'd start planning a trip away by myself personally.

notsobad's picture

Tell DH that you were talking about going away ALONE, without him or skid.

That neither he or skid is welcome.

Maxwell09's picture

What do I think? That your DH is taking any opportunity to make a fight that ends with threatening you to accept his crappy parenting and spawn OR leave. He’s going to keep doing this because he’s already considered leaving. He is building the wedge and making it seem like it’s you doing the choosing and the fighting but really this is the Disney Dad’s version of an Exit Plan: Guilt step mom until she breaks and has to distance herself then use that against her to separate so I can find someone new that accepts my Disney Parenting ways....

Good Luck. 

TexasPickles's picture

I would take the advisement and move on and move out. I don't understand why you stay or what you are getting out of the relationship. Hugs to you hon. Good luck.