I am done with everything! I am not going to take any crap from anyone. From now on, I am not going to waste my energy and time on people who are not worth it. I had already started with disengaging and it is indeed working great. I am not involving myself in which SS12 is involved. I feel very sorry for him. His mother left his father for another man when he was 5. I came into his life when he was 7. In the beginning he was all nice and good. I hadn't moved with his dad till then . I moved when he was 8. And then I came to know his true colours and even what it is to manage the kid which is not yours and on whom who have 0% right.

His mother send message to his father that he should not let his son meet me and keep him away. I had no idea about that. I was deeply sadden by that. I used to smile whenever she used to come pick him up and she used to ignore me completely/ turn her back. That is very healthy for the child. So slowly slowly I came to know that child is also like his mother. Whatever happens in our house he used to tell his mother. Even the things which we never used to talk in front of him. He used to stand outside our bedroom and listen to what we are talking. Wow! So irritating. Your life is then not yours anymore. He have very bad habit. If I and DH husband talk to each other about something important like work, he will ask what we were talking about every DAMN time. It is no business of 10 year, now 12 year old kid. Now I avoid talking on anything to my DH in front of him. But now he doesn't stay on house most of the time so that is also no problem. He comes on Friday evening 6pm and goes on tuesday morning 7am. In that on Sat and Sun he goes to his friend from 9-6 and on Mon he goes to his friend after school and comes by 7 in evening, and that is every time he is here, so basically he just eat and sleep in our house and that is good in its own way

I don't cook, do his laundry , clean his room or do anything for him now. In last blog I had written about the trouble he gave me when I cook. He did same for cleaning his room. When we started cleaning his room, it was not cleaned since God knows how long, everything was under dust. Somethings toys were broken and soft toys too were so dusty and he have more than enough toys which he don't even look at. I said lets sort out things which he don't use or like to give it to someone who can play with them. He said don't do that, I want the everything and I don't want to give anything. I said then lets clean it up atleast (He is allergic to dust, and mostly everything) . Therefore I wanted to clean it. He got angry on me and went downstairs. I said OK, First do things for him and even listen to crap. I said to DH I am not going to even enter his room. I had anyways stopped taking him to bed and then I stopped cleaning too. He want to be hoarder, then it is his choice. Since then I haven't enter his room ever. Till now as I have baby boy (3mnths) whom we have given that room. But I told my DH he had to clean the room and things in that and arrange the room for his son by himself. I am not going to touch a single things in that room. And after these 3 years I discovered how bright and big that room is. That room had not seen sunlight for ages I guess. But what about the things he live in living room. I had told my DH, I don't want any toy or book laying around after done playing and reading. If I see it, it will just get disappear. This rule is for everyone in this house. Just take it to your room or put it back in place where it was. Simple. SS leaves everything here and there still. I will collect everything and try to make them disappear.. }:)

One day we three went out for birthday party of DH grandmother last year (DH picked him up from his mother), BS was not born then . Anyways I ignore him. We stepped out of car and then SS started talking about something to his father. And then suddenly I saw (by-mistake) SS's ears. OMG! So gross! I haven't seen so dirty ears in my entire life. Ear wax for dripping out from his ears. It still disgust me. :sick: Gross Gross Gross! What is with hygiene and SS. Both are allergic to each other. ??!! :? There is no exaggeration in what I am saying. I could't believe my eyes!! :sick: He is always sneezing and having cold and cough 365 days in a year.

We three went to beach this summer. Enjoyed a lot. SS wanted to go to toilet. DH said go to restaurant nearby. SS said no, my foot pains in sand. The sand is very pointy! What is that?? lol. 12 year old complaining about sand hurting his leg. That restaurant was at the distance of 20 feet, but through sand. Now that is new thing to note down! Other kids were rolling on sand, enjoying. And his foot were so sensitive to step on sand. I had such a laugh in my mind. WTH! This is the first time I heard someone saying that.

In that my MIL is also SS lover. I was in hospital for a month or so , she came 2-3 times to see me, just because she had appointments in same hospital, other wise she wouldn't had even bother to come. Whenever she comes she keep on telling how SS was when he was small, what he did, where they walked , bla blah blah!! Why would I care??Once in a while I don't even have problem, but every damn time! I would advice her to take him! Live merrily together. She came to see my LO once or twice in these 3 months. Got gifts for SS for Xmas, which I don't dread actually. The fact that she was hiding it till diner. After diner she was sitting next to me on couch, and then slowly passing the gift in SS's hand??!! It really felt on purpose, with look she gave after wards.What is this all about? What was she scared of I don't know. I just pray she don't do such things when LO grows up. I don't mind if she don't get anything for LO but this gesture was really inappropriate. If she wanted to give so secretively she could have take him to other room or outside and gave him whatever she got for him. For me it is better if she stay away from us, like she does now. Ironic!! I think it is not fair for LO, but I am not going to watch it other time, if same thing happen when LO grows up.

In my first blog everyone had given me advice to ignore and I am applying that. I wanted make sure I was doing right thing by ignoring and disengaging, pretending he doesn't exist. I am sure now I am on a right path. Disengage! Disengage! Disengage! There are now less blame games.I would like to concentrate my energy on people who really care about us.