I really don't like my SS12. In the beginning he used to behave nicely. After wards he started showing his true colours. He don't even bath or brush his teeth . He will not wash his hands after coming out from toilet or before having food. Very filthy. Always sneezing and cleaning his snort with t-shirt or eats it even. It is very disgusting. He was 8 when I first met him. But haven't changed a bit. I told his father at least tell him to have bath and stop eating his snort in front of me. Now he is 12 and still the same. Now he gets up at 4 o'clk in morning and takes bath(brushing teeth is still not started, I don't care, anyways I don't stay near him for long, but he is 12 now and have to tell to brush his teeth.) and start watching Tv/playing video games till we get downstairs. It doens't matter If we come down at 11 o clk or 3 o'clk in afternoon. He will be sitting there. I wake up at 5 o' clk for exercise, bath. I come down at 7 to clean downstairs. He will be sitting, but if his father come down he will shut the TV or laptop off and pretend to do something else as reading book or just staring outside the window and pretend to watching bird or something. I haven't figure out what he does looking outside window. And lie to his father he was reading book and finished reading it. Then he will ask if he can play on laptop or on T.V. It is so irritating. But I don't say anything. I am seeing how he makes fool of his father. First he used to come every weekend by us. Now he comes every other weekend. Thank God!! BM didn't even wanted me to be around him. Now I also don't want him around. He is total fake and acts so different, depending on who is around. He goes to his friend fro 9-6. He don't go out to play there too.His friend is also always on computers, and he will come back and sit on laptop and when his father enter the room or we together, he will again pretend to be reading . Next to that he will keep on pointing fingers at me saying "You are not my mother." to anyone who comes in our house, even if they don't care about it. I had ignored it. But it does hurt to hear it. I haven't replied anything yet. I don't know what to say.

I am waiting for him to get out of our house. It is not that I hadn't tried. I had tried enough, slowing and steadily but he will keep pointing fingers, saying "I hate you", he had even squeezed my hands so many times. his father and I used to take him to bed in the beginning. He used to act all cozy cozy. Then sometime I used to take him to bed by my self, read him story, he used to be hell, not listening and if I say I don't like it what he does and began to walk out , he used to squeeze my hand till it become red. I thought he is doing out of frustration and pain, I thought let it be. I told him nicely not to do it, it does pain! But he didn't stop and his father didn't believe me. So I stopped doing that.

I also used to cook for him. Every time he used to come I used to cook mild food, so that he can also enjoy it. But no, BIG MISTAKE! He complained about that too. It is spicy, i don't want this, Even if I don't put spice in that , still it was spicy for him?? Howw?? Then he used to eat only plain rice or bread and go to sleep. It was very heart wrenching for me. I felt that he is disrespecting me and even the food which I make. I told his dad I am not even going to enter the kitchen when he is here and I did. Now when he comes, he eats same dishes when he is here what his father cooks, soup and bread, I don't mind it as for me it is change for a while and I don't have to cook. But then here too, he don't let a chance to make me feel bad, Oh, it is very nice! I had started to hate him.

Now a days I don't even look at his face. I had just changed my path. It is not always possible but most of the time, and it is working for me. I just say "Hi" and "Bye". And if he ask something then "yes" or "no", which is seldom. I love his dad very much, but him not a tiny bit. There are some part of a person whom you love dearly which you hate or don't like, like anger or hairs, whatever, For me my partner's son is that part. I don't like it a bit. I did tried accepting it and decided I am not going to touch the area/part which is not mine. I don't like to fight with anyone and I haven't till now. But I can fight for things I want, those fights doesn't needs to be violent. This is first person whom I gave so many chances but he used those to show his worst sides every time.

When my bioson (3mnths) was born, his father got him to our house till diner to see his new brother. He came stood there for 1-2 minutes said oh he is cute! And then can I now play with laptop or computer. It was so sad. Other time too. I was with my bio son, reading story to him, As my bio was premature, no one was allowed to touch him without washing their hands. SS came upstairs, that was second time he saw his brother, saying" uh, cute and came near the crib . I said smiling, don't forget to wash your hands before touching your baby brother. He said,'Oh, no need, Anyways I didn't came to see him,I came to ask where the tablet is?' Oh other hurtful thing. Now if he says "hi" then i say "hi" and if he says" hi , how are you?" i simply ask " what does he want?" It works. If he wants something then he ask extra, other wise not.

Do you guys have any suggestions, please let me know!! May be I can implement in my life. For me disengaging with him works best.