It’s that time of year...sort of OT
Ah, the holidays....every stepparent’s favorite time of year. DH’s family is already off to a great start at ruining them for me again.
Fortunatley, we are going to my family’s house for Thanksgiving. It is technically SKids Thanksgiving with their mother, but, as she has in the past, MIL will probably try to get SKids to attend the Thanksgiving dinner at her house, despite DH’s absence because she knows that BM “doesn’t really do anything” for Thanksgiving. Really, BM prefers to go away for the long weekend with her SO, so that’s not exactly not doing anything, it’s just not doing anything with SKids. MIL fails to see how it might be perceived as bad if SKids were with her while DH and I were with my family. My family lives 2500 miles away, so taking SKids with us is not an option.
Then Christmas. BM insisted - and DH allowed - in their parenting plan that she has SKids every Christmas Eve and Christmas morning until 10am. Despite knowing this, DH’s family also often decides to celebrate the holiday on Christmas Eve, meaning we have to drive all over on Christmas Day to make sure that SKids see everyone. One year, we went down to BIL and Silent SIL’s house only to be hustled out the door after about 30 minutes so as to not interrupt their Christmas dinner with Silent SIL’s family. If you have read my previous blogs, you know that in the four years I have been together with DH, Silent SIL has talked to me one time.
Recently, MIL sends and email to me and Silent SIL saying that she was talking to Silent SIL’s mom and they decided that MIL would host Thanksgiving and SIL’s mom would host Christmas, but MIL wasn’t sure if she meant Eve or Day. MIL also added in the email that she knew DH and I would be around on Christmas Eve because SKids were with BM (um, doesn’t mean we’ll be around, but ok). MIL wanted to know what SIL and I thought about that plan. At first I said, DH and I would be gone at Thanksgiving, MIL replied to me and said something about missing us. Silent SIL replied to MIL and said she was fine with the plan. I told DH and he said he wanted to host Christmas. I don’t really want to host these people, but having things at my house means I can be “busy” doing things and avoid being around DH’s family during the holiday. Also, I have control over when people come and leave. DH said something to his mother about this, but of course, she didn’t give him a response. So then I decide that I’ll respond to the group. I say “DH would like to host Christmas at our house this year. That would be Christmas Day because the boys are not with us on Christmas Eve.” It’s been two days and I’ve gotten zero response...and I know MIL checks her email daily.
A few more things to note - SIL has hosted Christmas for two years running. Her mother lives around the corner. They live 90 minutes away from MIL and an hour away from us. I’m not interested in driving down there again only to be ignored again. Also, why is MIL making plans with SIL’s family, before even consulting us. I know why, but SIL’s family is not my family and we weren’t invited to their family dinner two years ago, so why now.
Regardless, I think I might have to enjoy Christmas in my own this year.