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My birthday

Stressedstepparent17's picture

It's my birthday this weekend.. well Monday but I'm celebrating it at the weekend with my family, OH and SD. 

So my OH is crap with presents, needs me to go with him to pick what I want because apparently even after 2.5 years he still doesn't know what to get me. We're wandering round town and straight away he picks up an LOL doll top and matching leggings for his beloved princess. Cue me fuming. 

Now yes I will be the first one to admit I'm being selfish. But I'm sorry, it's MY birthday this weekend not hers. Team that with the fact he's just lost his job and needs to save every penny he can, I've told him he doesn't need to spend a lot, a card and a small thoughtful gift would do but buying madam presents to wear on MY birthday is taking the biscuit if I'm honest.

I want one day a year where I feel special. One day a year where I feel important. One f'ing day where I come first! One f'ing day where it's not about her!!! 

Now I was honest and relayed this information about how I was feeling. Cue him being majorly pissed off at me, I've made him feel guilty for buying something for his daughter and it doesn't make a difference apparently. Now I might be over reacting and it might be nothing but at the moment I feel so invisible that this birthday already feels tainted. 

He spent the remainder of the time round town looking at things for her, literally every shop he stopped and looked at new toys, sweets, clothes, bedding.. "ooo she'll love this".. but yet can't think of what to get me?! 

Can guarantee this weekend won't be about me. He'll hand over the presents to her and she'll think it's her birthday. She'll cling to him all day, won't leave his side and it won't feel any different to any other day of the year. 

Just one day I'm entitled to be selfish. Just one. 

Comments

simifan's picture

I would be pissed. Be sure to return the favor - find something for his least favorite person in your life (sister, mom, BFF) in every store you go into for a month. I wouldn't be buying him a thing for a long time - no snacks, shampoo, anything  

simifan's picture

I would be pissed. Be sure to return the favor - find something for his least favorite person in your life (sister, mom, BFF) in every store you go into for a month. I wouldn't be buying him a thing for a long time - no snacks, shampoo, anything  

Stressedstepparent17's picture

Nope. Not a penny. Well £50. But he's moved that into his savings for SD birthday. Ha. 

Siemprematahari's picture

What was his response to you feeling invisible and everything being about SD? Have you told him that you would like to feel special on your birthday without SD ALWAYS being the center of attention? If he's shutting down after telling him your wants and needs and doesn't make an effort to fix it, you have an even bigger problem on your hands.

Stressedstepparent17's picture

I'm always made to feel like the bad guy whenever I mention SD. My feelings don't matter. She comes first always. His words, not mine. 

I'm out's picture

Haha I was always told that aswell about she always comes first. Sorry for all the comments it's just such a relief to find someone who's been through the same. It's messed my head up so much! I didn't know men like this existed! 

Tryingtomakeitwork's picture

Words are worthless, behavior is the truth.  He is unemployed, out with you to find a bday present for you, but he buys stuff for his daughter?  Seriously?!  You are Number 2 in his life, and he makes you out to be the bad guy?  Sheesh!  Disengage.  Stop being so "nice" cuz you are getting walked all over.  Yes, it's easier for an outsider to see what's going on.  I get walked on too, and I'm too nice, and when my ss22 is around, I am number 2.  It makes me so sad and so mad for me...for you.  Sad

thinkthrice's picture

"when pleasing you is killing me.

STAT!!!!