BD is going to be the death of me.....
My Bd20 has been with her bf24 for just over 1 yr. He's pretty nice, but he's immature like she is.
Monday night she comes over and springs it on me and then DH that she is pregnant!! I didn't believe her, so I made her get papers from hospital to prove it. Well, she is, and is almost 8 weeks. The papers show that she found out back on Sept 6, and she hadn't told us. Come to find out they told his mom, sister and my BS all before me and Dh!!! I'm not happy.
Neither one of them have a job, steady place to live. (she lives with my ex and he lives with his parents)
Now she tells me today that they are getting married in the next 2 months, before she starts to show!!
His family is super super religious, and would have a fit if the baby was born out of wedlock.
She spoke to his mom about the church, and her SM about the hall. all before she told me anything!
Now I'm NOT one of those BM but you would think that a girl would talk to her own mom before anyone else
she wants to have the reception at the same place as her dad and SM did, and then use the exact same decorations they used. as in the EXACT same ones. (I guess it saves $$ but still)
I asked her who was going to walk her down the isle. she said "dad and DH" I asked her why (since she always said DH would) she said since XH is help pay for it, it would be kindy shitty not to have him walk her down.
I have health issues and stress makes them worse.
I'm beyond stressed out, she wants a wedding in 2 months, and a baby coming in the next 7 months.
(p.s she cant stand her SM, so it hurts that she talked to her first)
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Her dad hasn't really been
Her dad hasn't really been apart of my kids lives. He just started coming around maybe 1 year ago
They way she treats her, 1/2
They way she treats her, 1/2 brothers, bs and animals. I've even noticed she's very 2 faced. I'd only met her 1 time before they got married.
And she just moved in with him bc bf parents kicked her out like 1 month ago
so you are basing this on
so you are basing this on what? What your kid tells you?
Have you seen this for yourself???
BOTH. Ive seen her acting
BOTH. Ive seen her acting crazy. and what my 3 bk and their 2 half brothers have said.
For as long as i can
For as long as i can remember, my daughters have wanted me to perform their wedding and to bake their wedding cake. So i really can't sit back and do nothing.
She can't even stand herr 2 little 1/2 brothers, So i fear for her baby.
She has really bad anger
She has really bad anger issues, and just knowing her, it scares me. she has even told me (in the past year) that she doesn't want kids bc she couldn't handle the puke, poop and all the crying.
maybe smoke pot throughout
maybe smoke pot throughout the entire two months.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Yup what she said!
maybe smoke pot throughout
maybe smoke pot throughout the entire two months.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Yup what she said!
I think she will be one of
I think she will be one of those crazy BM. She quit taking her birth control, about 3 months ago, (bc from what she told my other BD her bf was going to break up.) so I think she did this to trap him.
She hasn't stopped smoking weed, and has no intentions of stopping. I heard directly from the source she was asking for some, and this person wouldn't give her any bc he knows she pregnant.
So she's already being highly irresponsible
My DH and I (along time ago)
My DH and I (along time ago) told all the kids, that we will NOT be a free baby sitting service. We didn't have that available for us when our kids were little and it made us better parents, so they will just have to learn on their own.
stepsonhatesme - your DD is a
stepsonhatesme - your DD is a grown gal, there's nothing you can do about her behavior, you tried your best with her and she through it back in your face....
Now let her live with her choices, sometimes the best thing we as parents can do is to disengage from our bio's and let them fall..... it's the only way they will learn...
congrats on becoming a Granny
I think you are all focusing
I think you are all focusing on leaves on a tree, and are ignoring the fact you're lost in the middle of a forest with night coming on!
I understand you are upset because you weren't told first and that hurts. But really, who cares about what the wedding details are!
You've got much bigger problems to worry about:
- There is an adult woman who is allegedly smoking, pot no less, while pregnant. Possible damage to baby.
- She intentionally became pregnant in a desperate attempt to maintain a relationship.
- Neither the mother- or father-to-be are employed. No means to support themselves let alone a child.
- The parents-to-be do not have their own housing. Nowhere to live, and no stability for themselves or child.
- Since parents are unstable, it stands to reason GRANDPARENTS (i.e. you) may wind up providing support for all 3 of them. Sounds like her BF's parents don't want her around since they kicked her out already
Those are the things I'd be worried about! But as others have said, your BD is an adult and she SHOULD be responsible for her own decisions and the ramifications of her choices. Doesn't sound like she has the maturity to do so, however, so I can see this mess winding up on your and DH's plate.
When the sh!t starts to hit the fan and your BD comes to you asking to "fix" things (wedding, finances or anything else) I would suggest the following: "BD, I know this is a tough time for you. But it's part of being an adult. You've made decisions and now must take responsibility for those decisions. I'm sure you will figure it all out." And end the discussion.