Who is wrong here?
I ordered a crib, changing table and portable crib for my daughter. I used some of the money my grandmother gave me at my baby shower. In total I probably spent about 310 dollars after shipping. I told DH I was going to order the crib and stuff to match the swing my aunt got her. We went to our new house and I showed him where I wanted to put in in the nursery and I showed him the picture from the website and he flipped out on me.
DH" You spent that much", " That's not even a lot of cost for what I got", DH" but now we have a few hundred left", " Not to be rude DH but we don't have anything that money is for the baby and what she needs, DH" But I thought we could use some to get SD some new furniture for her room you know new house new furniture, " I got this money from the BABY SHOWER for the BABY, DH" wow ok", " Her old furniture is fine and if you want to buy her new furniture that can come out of your account and not the baby's money I'm sorry, DH" wow no its ok I heard you loud and clear". “Really? it’s not all about SD", DH" Yeah I know I have two daughters now ", “Then act like it". DH" Sorry for wanting them to both have new furniture You know When SD was born", " If I was you I would drop it like right now", DH" Wow ok it’s been dropped".
He dropped it but I don't know I'm still not happy.
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I think your DH is being
I think your DH is being f-ing ridiculous. That was clearly money for the baby and not for SD. It almost sounds like a joke to me that your DH even mentioned anything. I don't think I'd even dignify it with a response if my DH suggested that a dime of shower money be spent on my SS. Gah! Ridiculous!
He sounds like such an
He sounds like such an entitled prick. Sorry. Good for you for sticking to your guns.
What is it with these men? My DH used to do shit like that ALL the time! When he and I bought our house together, we furnished it with all of MY stuff because he didn't have anything. I purchased affordable furniture for my boys from Ikea and put my kids old twin beds in the bedroom for his kids, who at the time only came over EOW. He was upset that HIS kids were getting hand me down furniture. Instead of him seeing that in OUR house his kids were going to have their own space, their own beds, their own dressers, he was just focused on the fact that their stuff wasn't NEW. He harped on that shit for YEARS. Eventually, he dropped it, but not before many arguments and disagreements. Meanwhile, his BM sleeps with SD13 on her bed, because she refuses to buy SD13 her own bed and SS21 sleeps on the floor in the living room. But you know, his kids are too good for hand me down furniture in our house. Please...
WOW what is with these
WOW what is with these butthole men. I just want to say " Shut up DH and blend me a milkshake". But really I' tired of it I can get the basby some new furniture with her baby shower money and SD will survive.
Every dime given to baby at
Every dime given to baby at the shower is for the baby. Money was a gift to baby. Weird that your DH would even think any of baby's 'gift' should be used for the other daughter. SD has a mother and father. If her parent/s think she needs new furniture, well I guess they should figure out how to purchase it without stealing gifts meant for a baby from a baby shower.
If your guest would have actually purchased you the baby item instead of gifting money so you could buy what items you needed yourself, DH wouldn't be sitting there thinking this crap. He wouldn't be saying 'lets return this, this and that so we can use the money to buy SD something'.
He's being a jerk. I would think this has more to do with his hang-up over your family gifting you with cash than what ever it is you actually used the cash for. If his SD needs new furniture , let him think about being her some for Christmas or her birthday. People don't steal bay gifts just because somebody else wants something.
I know. I think of it as my
I know. I think of it as my grandmother gave a gift for the baby. He sees it as any money we get is for all of us. I just think he is being a man child and I really don't have time for it right now the last thing I need is two babies.
Shut this stuff down now, or
Shut this stuff down now, or it will be a continual problem. If one gets something the other does....That is just setting them both up to resent the other. Life is not fair or even and SD and your Bio need to understand that.
Your husband sounds like an idiot and a "Disney Dad".
^^^^THIS^^^^ This was a
^^^^THIS^^^^
This was a problem in my family, only it was between me and my younger cousin. We were both only children, and her parents divorced when she was 2yo. My grandmother and aunts believed that if they got one of us something, they should get the other one the EXACT same thing. The biggest issue was birthdays because they would give the non-birthday kid the same present during the birthday party. It completely made the day less special. Also, there was a lot of resentment between us because of things like that. Everyone catered to my cousin because her parents were divorced, and they completely left me out in the cold. We are both grown with our own children, and some family members still treat her with kid gloves. She became an entitled brat because everyone bent over backwards to make sure her feelings weren't hurt.
This time is about the new baby and you. Your DH should've never thought this would be ok. That money is for the baby, not SD. Good for you for putting your foot down. Keep standing your ground.
He's being an ass yes, but he
He's being an ass yes, but he is probably worried about sd being jealous of new baby and he might also be a bit himself? Maybe you can get sd something small for her new room, like new bedspread and curtains or throw rug or something. Maybe matching curtains with baby's room? I don't know but maybe surprise her with something small? I know it's hard after all you've been through with her and right now it's all about baby, but it might be something to think about. I bought new curtains for both my boys' room window and ss16's when we moved into here. Just a thought.
I don't think you were wrong on any part of this for your baby, it's baby's shower money and you are being a great mom by spending it on the baby. At least dh backed down a bit and didn't throw a huge shit fit. lol Then you'd have two babies.
Ugh, I'm so sorry that your
Ugh, I'm so sorry that your DH was pulling such a jerk move. That money was for the baby and was to be spent on the baby. Good for you for sticking to your guns! You're absolutely right, if he wants to buy SD new furniture for her room in the new house, then he can get it with money that ISN'T for the baby.
If her furniture is perfectly
If her furniture is perfectly fine why would we need to get her new furniture just because? Mabey a new bed spread and paint her new room but I really don't think she needs new furniture just for the sake of having it.
what a douchetard. i like
what a douchetard.
i like former's idea- if he brings it up again, i'd use her analogy of taking some of SD's birthday gift money for yourself. }:)
ignore the asshat. you're doing the right thing.
really 900 wow. I got my set
really 900 wow. I got my set from sears it was the south sure collection I think. If you ever have a nother baby you should look at sears and I got her portble basinet crib from walmart for like 50 dollars and it even has an under carage to put her diapers and things so I wont have to run back and forth.
So wrong to want to use that
So wrong to want to use that money on SD.
If he wants to do something for SD, fine but with his own money.
He could re-stain or paint SD's furniture for a new look (I am a total DIY geek) and buy other items, like SteelRose suggested, to go with it.
There's a lot he could do without stealing money from a baby.
you're agreeing with me? If
:jawdrop: you're agreeing with me? If HRNYC agrees then I know he was wrong. Not trying to be rude its just rare I see you taking the OP's side of things.
Teeheee, it actually happens
Teeheee, it actually happens every once in a while. But screen shot this because it will probably never happen to the same person twice
Your DH is being a total douche bag, I would like to junk punch him for you.
BS - Punch him in the junk.
BS - Punch him in the junk. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT.
BWAHAHA
BWAHAHA
Nope! you aren't wrong!! THIS
Nope! you aren't wrong!! THIS is one of those times when it needs to be ALL about your baby...and you too....he shouldn't try to take that away from you...U got the money from baby shower so you should spend it on anything u want for the baby! If he is worried SD will feel left out he can get her something....On the other hand u guys can involve SD in some other ways...like let her help set up baby's room w you...put baby clothes etc....so she will feel like a part of it and wont resent the baby
It appears your DH has taken
It appears your DH has taken a leave of his senses.
How can he rationalize you giving your baby's monetary gifts to the person who has continually harassed you, called you names and has done everything in her power to make you feel horrible?
He is a shitheel. I'm with BS - junk punch him.
I must say that I've been
I must say that I've been following your story with great interest, and without sounding too weird or condescending.....Porcelian, you should be so PROUD of yourself in how you have handled things these past months.
You have stepped up and made your voice be HEARD! You have put boundaries down where they were needed and HELD YOUR GROUND!!! If you go back and read your first posts here, it's like a new person has developed before our blogging eyes! Way to go girl! Keep on keepin' on!
You made me feel warm and
You made me feel warm and fuzzy. Thank you if I had never found this site I don't know where I would be. I think I'm finnaly finding my inner strenght.
And we wonder HOW skids learn
And we wonder HOW skids learn such an attitude of entitlement...
I love your responses lol.
I love your responses lol. Wish we could trade places.
You know who's wrong ! But I
You know who's wrong ! But I'll confirm he is 100% wrong lol The fact you even question it gives me the vibe you might have a GASLIGHTER on your hands .
I know I do !
You know who's wrong ! But I
You know who's wrong ! But I'll confirm he is 100% wrong lol The fact you even question it gives me the vibe you might have a GASLIGHTER on your hands .
I know I do !
You know who's wrong ! But I
You know who's wrong ! But I'll confirm he is 100% wrong lol The fact you even question it gives me the vibe you might have a GASLIGHTER on your hands .
I know I do !