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Some men really show me why I picked the one I'm with! GRRR -- This is an O/T vent!

SteppingUp's picture

Let me count the ways I can't stand our current (and soon to be no longer) roommate. First off I'd like to say that I honestly don't mind the guy but I'm just like GET. OUT. OF. OUR. HOUSE. NOW.

1. Six months ago we decided to replace the carpeting in our basement family room, hallway, and entryway stairs. Kevin (as I will call said-roommate) has worked for a carpentry business for 6 summers of his life and bragged about how he knows how to do everything, and told my fiance he'd help with the whole process. It took him WEEKs to finish the family room. My fiance finally took initiative and finished the hallway, but wasn't sure how to do go about doing the stairs. Kevin assured us that he knew how to do the stairs. We sat with fugly looking stairs with carpeting ripped off of them for 3 months. Kevin kept saying "Tomorrow I'm going to do it." Then finally Fiance "made" Kevin to do the stairs. He did a half-assed job and then got stuck doing a complicated cut, so he just didn't do it. Then he finally told us that he didn't know how to do the stairs. They sat for 3 more months like that. I brought it up a few times to Kevin about what he needed to finish it, or if we needed to hire someone, and he got all sensitive about it. Anyway, my fiance took initiative again two weeks ago and finished the stairs by himself, but ended up calling someone he randomly knows to ask how to do this one part. So, no help whatsoever from Kevin.

2. Kevin was supposed to move out at the end of December. His room will be our baby's room. His move-out date then changed to the end of THIS month. He has ONE WEEK left to live at our house and he hasn't packed up a SINGLE item. Our family room is full of baby stuff -- changing table, bassinet, a glider-rocker, plus all the clothes and other stuff for the baby -- PLUS it's Kevin's "room" where he hangs out, so it's full of his computer stuff and movies and his couch and TV. It's a HUGE MESS!

3. Kevin has not been using his computer because it's broken. It sits on a HUGE, L-shaped desk in our family room (yes, that same room I said is a jungle). I suggested to him about 3 weeks ago that if he could take his computer stuff down and the desk, that would open up a lot of space and we could move the baby stuff into that area so he could use the extra room to help him pack boxes and gather his stuff together. He told me that he WILL be using his computer becuase it's now fixed, so basically he wasn't willing to do any of it. Today, his computer has sitll not been touched and is covered in a thick layer of dust. I just keep putting more baby stuff into that room so it's just getting worse and he's going to have a difficult time moving his crap out when he actually has to (did I mention that is the end of this week????).

4. Kevin's gf lives out of town and came to visit this weekend. She brought it up to ME that she's pissed at him that he's still living with us, when I could go into labor any day now. So I vented to her about it as well since I knew she was on the same page. She brought it up to Kevin again and he FREAKED out on her, they got in a huge fight and he told her to mind her own business.

5. Kevin works late, at a bar. He usually stays after and has some drinks. When he comes home at 3am, he SLAMS the front door shut, he often finds it appropriate to talk on the phone for an hour at normal-to-loud voice decibel, he'll order pizza at all hours of hte night and we get a knock on our door which makes our dog bark like crazy, then turns his tv on and passes out with it BLARING loud. His room is right next to the skids room, and he never ever has a qualm about being quiet. There have been times where I've texted him from the upstairs bedroom and said, "You're being loud and the kids are sleeping, SHHHH!" and he'll be like, "oh my bad, sorry". GRRRRR.... not to mention that in the last month or so of being pregnant, I don't sleep well as it's getting really wearing.

6. Last night Kevin woke us both up by being loud in the kitchen, at 3:30am. DF went into the kitchen and started asking him why he needs to open the fridge 17 times and bang around the cupboards at all hours of the night? This started Kevin's excuse for drinking, which was that he got in the fight with his gf, and the fight was becuase of stuff that I said. So DF told him not to take it personally, that we're all a little anxious about the baby and having everything ready. But Kevin was a big sensitive little sally about it all and he's making it all dramatic! It makes no sense!!!

7. He's moving a mile from us, into a friend's house where he lived before he lived with us. He told us he needs to clean out the room at his friend's house before he can start moving. He went over there the other night to 'clean out the room' and we sat down to watch some movie on Netflix. Because we watch Netflix through the PS3, we saw that the entire time Kevin was at his friend's house, he was online playing video games. They didn't get anything done.

8. This weekend Kevin's gf told me that he was going to ask us to stay at our house LONGER! WTF!

I don't understand why he's being so weird about this. Why would he WANT to stay with us if he has another option? We have two skids half the time, our house is a zoo, and we have a baby that can come any day. GRRR!! What the heck?


Tx mommy of 3's picture

Do you have a lease agreement? Enforce it. If not, still enforce it. On his move out date tell him his things must be out or you will be selling them or gettig rid of them. The next day, movehis stuff out and start moving baby's things in. Seriously. Talk to someone about your rights. He is doing this because he prob really doesn't have an option. It might be him live with you guys or his gf. She might be pressuring him to move in with her and maybe he isn't ready. But whatever. He needs to be out even if it is forcefully.

SteppingUp's picture

No lease agreement. And he DOES have a place to live, he's moving in with his friend (someone he used to live with) and there is a room there waiting for him.

CaptainD's picture

You have to be assertive with people like this. Decent people would feel shame over being such a burden and actively try to find their own place. People like kevin just don't care.

My brother in law was like this, lived with us for awhile, then when he finally moved, left all his shit at our house. Including his broken down ugly nova sitting in our front yard. After asking over and over for him to come get it, he wouldn't. Said he "was going to."
DH didn't want to hurt his brother and stopped asking.
I finally called him and left a voicemail saying "if you don't come get your car by tomorrow, I'm having it towed."
And what do you know? He showed up the next day with a buddy and took the car.

And we are just fine. No ill feelings. However I wouldn't not let him live with us again.

happymostly's picture

Is this guy yalls friend or what?! lol well if I was you and fh, I would do like robsmom said and just pack everything up for him, put it all in garage bags or that 55 gallon leaf bags that grocery stores sell. They are pretty heavy duty! I bought some when i was moving and put all my clothes in just one! and I have alot of clothes lol. I would put it on the front lawn or put it in the backyard SOMEWHERE or if possible just put it where he is moving to now. I would be a bitch like that though lol. and quickly as possible set up all the baby stuff so he has no where to sleep if he gets mad. and i read what foxie said about him being a roommate and getting mail there; I would go to the post office and pick up a change of address forms and fill it out for him with his new address. What a jackass I cant believe anyone would still try to stay there WHEN YOU HAVE A BABY COMING ANY DAY NOW! I would be sooo pissed off if I was you. I remember reading one of your blogs where you said you felt overwhelmed and that you were a do-er and wanted things done right away with the baby stuff. I know I would of already blown my top if I was you! Lol Some 'friend' (if he is one to you guys) that he is! Good luck.

SteppingUp's picture

Just an update for everyone who commented, he sat down and talked to me yesterday. He said that it was all a misunderstanding and that he DOES have everything under control and he just hasn't been communicating that with us. He said that he is borrowing a friend's truck this week to help move the big stuff. And that he'll for sure be out at the end of the upcoming weekend.

So...I guess a lot of my vent was being super hormonal and judgemental...but it has been frustrating for sure. We'll see what progress he makes this week -- but he's a typical GUY, who puts everything off until the last minute even though it's affecting others! I hate that!