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*Sigh* BM wins the nighttime potty training battle....for now.

SteppingUp's picture

A few months ago we talked to BM about trying to start night-time potty training with SS3. He's totally the type of personality that he's lazy about most things. We figured he is just lazy with his night time peeing, too -- that he knew he had a pull-up on so instead of getting up to go to the bathroom he would just go in it. I vented on here that BM refused to do it. She said she refused to clean up a mess every night.

So we gave it a few more months for SS3 to mature a little more, and this week decided to try it out. We bought a mattrress protector, and when DF was putting it on the bed, SS3 was asking about it. He explained that it will stop the pee from soaking into the mattress. DF woke up SS3 at midnight to go to the bathroom. Then he thought he might make it til he woke up at 6am. First night, didn't work. I was talking to SS3 after waking him up and finding he'd gone pee (tried to make it light-hearted and not too serious, so as not to scare him or anything, and talked about how he'll do better the next night). His response was SOOO friggin' cute! He said, "Yeah, that white thing didn't work." OMG I was laughing so hard! He's so innocent -- he misunderstood what DF explained to him and thought he meant that the white mattress protector would actually STOP him from going pee at night! Soooo cute! Smile

Anyway, last night we tried again. We put him in only underwear, thinking he might actually "feel" the wetness instead of just laying in his wet pajamas under covers, which would make him wake up. We were trying to figure out if he wakes up at ALL when he pees or just sleeps through it.

Annnndddd we've discovered that he sleeps right through it. Also, he didn't even make it until midnight before he peed the first time. So it's apparently not a lazyness factor, it's just that his bladder isn't big enough and he doesn't have enough control of it yet. Okay, so we are a little bummed but oh well.

So I feel like BM "won"...we were soooo hoping we could just announce to her that he's night-time potty trained now! I know that sounds dumb but I'm just being honest.

Now for some advice -- should we keep trying? Or just give up and try again in a few months? I know boys take longer, I know sometimes it can be until they're 5 or 6, I know it all depends on the kid...

I'll be on maternity leave soon and it really won't be a big deal to keep washing sheets and stuff for the 3 nights a week we have him, so I'm sort of inclined to keep trying and hope that he'll start waking up to go pee -- or will that just be a losing battle? We're also considering a bed-wetting alarm but we're not sure about it, since it just wakes them up after the fact anyway (is that really "training"?).


Rags's picture

Yes keep trying. My SS's BioDad and SpermClan would not help with toilet training. We would send SS to them 85% toilet trained in underwear all day and even at night. He would go several days without an accident.

They would send him back in a pull up that only got changed once a day and butt rash so bad his anus was so raw it would bleed and he had puss filled welts on his ass cheeks. Of course they would also only bathe him once or twice a week and he would come home with lice, grunge behind his ears, half inch long finger and toe nails and with BO so bad he was hard to ride home from the airport with in the car. How the hell does a 3yo get BO? :jawdrop:

I would recommend getting a tinkle alarm. It is a pad that goes under the bottom sheet and sets of an alarm at the first dribble. It will wake him up which should stop the tinkle and he can go to the bathroom himself.

I would also cut off all liquid at 5:30PM and take him to the toilet right before you put him to bed. You may also want to stop all sugared drinks and juices after 12:00PM (noon). Sugary drinks cause you to urinate more.

If you can get him toilet trained they you take away BMs ability to cause him harm as my SS's SpermClan caused.

Good luck.

SteppingUp's picture

Ohhh your poor SS! I can't imagine seeing that Sad

Thanks for the tips! I will definitely look into the alarm. I didn't know that it would alarm right away, I thought it would take a minute or so to go off so I kind of felt like there wasn't much of a point -- but if it's that sensitive then it will probably work! We do stop him from drinking anything after dinner, unfortunately we don't get to eat til around 6-6:30 each night.

Rags's picture


Kids definitely can back slide after the birth of a new baby. I did and I was 6yo when my next oldest brother came home from the hospital. I also fell out of my bed which I had not done in years.

Mom and dad had ZERO tolerance and put me in a diaper and made me sleep in a crib the next night. I gook off the diaper, went to my own bed and never whizzed the bed again.

Just thought I would throw myself under the bus on this topic.

Best regards,

SteppingUp's picture

That's hilarious Rags! Sadly with SS's age and how he gets babied at BM's, something like this would probably only make him feel really good and special (getting treated like a baby).

SteppingUp's picture

Yes restricting liquids and going potty before he sleeps, waking up at midnight to go, etc.

I do have that fear that he'll backslide once the baby comes. And you bring up a good point that BM's schedule is different than ours. One of the reasons she's against doing this is because she's the type that picks up the kids, feeds them dinner then it's a bath time (every OTHER night) and bed right away. They're in their room with TV on and going to bed by 7:30 at BM's house, so that she can have her own time. We actually like spending time with them so they go to bed around 8:30-9 at our house, after baths and books are read. But yes, that different schedule will probably not help a lot, which is why we discussed it with BM in the first place -- so we could put forth a solidified effort as a whole parenting TEAM, rather than one house against the other...oh well.

Thanks for your insight!