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well well well...

stepmonster_2011's picture

SS17 (almost 18!) who lives in a residential treatment facility - recently was promoted to a group home type environment.

Instead of a dormitory style rooming, it is an apartment with a couple of bedrooms and like 2-3 kids per room. The idea being he is given more freedom, to work and attend school, but he still has structure and is learning how to be a human.

This promotion was made about a month ago.

This weekend he used some of his new found freedom to go out drinking and stay out past curfew. Whoops.

I get where this is a relatively normal teen thing, but what isn't normal is that this kid is on some serious drugs for his issues and shouldn't be drinking - even if he was of age!

So as the RTC and his caseworker, and group leaders were meeting with him this afternoon; to determine his consequences; he pulled his normal stunt - he got up and with a flip of the bird - left. The RTC called to let us know. They had to wait an hour before they could contact the police to file a missing person report.

It's been 4 hours. We haven't heard back yet.



stepmonster_2011's picture

He's seen a battery of therapists. He is in one of the best facilities in the state that even attempts to address his issues (RAD, and many other co-morbidities) - many won't even touch him because of his "alphabet soup" diagnosis.

But you're right - he has to WANT to change. And the worst part of his issue? RAD is not treatable thru a prescription - it requires years of dedicated therapy and a want to be a better person that makes good and rational decisions.

And oh yeah - he went back to the RTC. About an hour ago, he called to let his dad know he returned. Here are some snippets:

DH - what was your gameplan when you left?
SS - I dunno, but they wouldn't have found me if I didn't want to be found.

DH - so you were just going to wander around town?
SS - no, I was going to come back to hometown - so I could visit my friends.
DH - how were you going to get here (over 40 miles away)?
SS - I dunno
DH - what were you going to do with said friends?
SS - hang out
DH - and get them in trouble? On a school night?
SS - I dunno

DH - Son, what is your bigger life gameplan?
SS - I dunno

DH - what do you think is going to be your consequence for your actions this weekend?
SS - prolly 3 days of lost privileges.
DH - seriously? you think underage drinking will only get you 3 days?
SS - I dunno
DH - what do you think it should be?
SS - I dunno, nothing cuz I didn't really do anything.

That's about all I could manage... seriously.

I'm glad he's not out and about wandering the streets. I just so wish he'd learn from the mistakes he keeps making.

nothinforya's picture

Please don't give up on him! My son, now 27 with a college degree and a great job, was in a RTF for a while as a teen, then therapeutic foster care. He FINALLY started to really grow up at ~19-20, got serious about school, and is successful now. Then, I expected him to end up in prison.