Thinking about funerals
Some other blogs lately got me thinking about my father and his wife and what I would do/will do when they eventually pass.
I have almost no relationship with my father anymore. I have chosen to not let his toxicity into my life. We didn't have a big blow up or anything like that, but I stopped chasing him to force a relationship. Funny how when I stopped calling and trying, it just went away. I haven't spoken with him in over a year.
Do I want a reconciliation? I don't know. I think we might be too old; and too far down the path to ever have a relationship that is healthy. And that is the only way I want one - I don't want toxic anymore.
That aside, what would I do if he died this week? Honestly, I think I would go to his funeral but I wouldn't take a spot in the receiving line. I wouldn't sit up in the front during the service. And I would make sure that I wasn't the center of attention. I would treat it like if an uncle had died. I think.
With that - what about when my Stepmother dies? I have even LESS of a relationship with her. Not because she's my SM, but because she is just not a nice person. I have ZERO in common with her. And without a relationship with my father, I have even less reason to even try with her. I think I would be inconveniently out of the country for work...
What if Dad died before her? What if she died first?
And a question for you ladies and gents - if you have a crummy relationship with your skids (or none at all) - do you WANT them to come to your funeral? Do you care? Would you be upset if they didn't come to your DH's service?