The stepkids are FAILING math. DH has stepped up and is doing work with them on the weekend, but they only do work when he insists.

Unfortunately today he had to work and they went back early, so they did absolutely nada, despite the many lectures they have been getting. SD watched High School Musical for the millionth time and SS watched YouTube videos of Wrestling.

I asked the kids about their daily routine during the week. They go to grandparents house after school, do HW, eat dinner, go home, more HW if there's still some left, shower, TV or anything they want to do for a couple hours and then bed. I'm guessing now that DH & I actually cook more food for them than their own mother does, because cereal is always breakfast and lunch is free in school. I'm guessing the few hours of work DH does with them now is the ONLY revision of schoolwork they actually do. DH met with SS's teacher, and it turned out BM wasn't even checking on HW because 6 weeks of work passed and SS turned in nada and got zero.

DH wants to give them work to do during the week and call to check it every night. I see so much concern in him now, he thinks he is failing them. They CANNOT do basic math. Of course he wants them to be successful. But he is the ONLY one trying. Their mum works barely 4 hrs a day, he works 8-12. Their mum is with them every day, he doesn't have that privilege. When will she decide to invest some time and energy in helping her kids succeed?? She is not stupid, she is more educated than DH in fact, but she is sooo lazy.

All I can think is that my kids are NEVER ever going to be allowed to fall behind like these kids. I am trying to say, Not my kids, not my problem. But it really really makes my blood boil when SD tells me something like, "Daddy said that he and mum are going to share the cost ($600) to get her the High School Ring when she graduates, because she really really wants to get one of those and she's already asked them." In my mind, I'm thinking, "Little girl, you cannot do some simple subtractions, yet you're already planning to get the most expensive ring for graduating, which cloud is your head in??" Then she asks if me and her little sister are going to come to her graduation. "Of course we are!" I say, but I'm thinking, "If you graduate from high school, I would be quite surprised."

Anyway, I don't think they are dumb kids really, but I simply don't see that they make learning a priority. And school here in the USA is soooo easy, they spoon-feed these kids, they barely have to think about anything on their own. Or maybe it's just that these specific kids haven't ever really been challenged to think!! SS took 15 minutes to figure out how to hook the lid unto the garbage can, I let him stew unaided, because these kids simply have stopped using their brains to figure things out. Life is too easy. SD could barely figure out how to shape a piece of dough into a heart, I had to prod her along. And this is a creative child who can draw pretty well! She was ready to give up before she even gave it a good try!! "I can't do it!", it's the first thing out of their mouths each and every time, I've gotten to the point where I pretend I don't hear them when they say this.
/p/I want to support DH in this, I really do, but, and I am saying this to myself, I am NOT responsible for how these children turn out. I'm definitely going to feel ASHAMED if I have to admit to my own family and friends that my "kids" are failing, but I really shouldn't. IF one single person looks down on me for their failures, or even decides to single-out and accuse my DH of creating failures, I might have something pretty harsh to say. These kids have 2 REAL parents, both of whom should take the hit, not one, and certainly not the UNREAL parent (i.e. me).