5 years later I finally get to stick it to BM
Perhaps I should have taken the high road, but I had waited too long for this moment, and I said what I had to say very nicely, and feel EXTREMELY good about it.
About 1 year ago, BM went at me in an email (after screaming at me from her window), because I dared to try to enforce that teenage SD wears her prescription glasses while at our house and took her cell phone away when she didn't.
Here's some snippets:
Directed to me:
- When I am discussing MY children with their father you need to mind your business.
- If I am not speaking to YOU then you DO NOT speak at me. (because I dared to open my mouth)
- They were not in need of a mother when "DH's name" married you nor are they in need of a mother now.
- Play principal to the children you gave birth to and leave mine be.
Directed to DH:
- Be a man and tell your wife to stand back and let us be parents to OUR children.
- What makes SM31 a professional when it comes to kids?
- I have respect for you and always will because you are my childrens father but she has to earn respect, she isn't just entitled to it.
- If pleasing your wife is more important than these children, then there is something wrong in your situation. You made them before you married her.
- she needs to GROW up and let US handle OUR children.
- I have a man that I am incredibly in love with, whose child I am having, we are very happy, so my only reason for having any kind of relationship with you is to benefit our kids
SOO... ONE YEAR LATER:
- BM's boyfriend left her soon after the baby was born.
- BM now has a full-time job, because ex-boyfriend isn't paying CS because he is working under the tables
- During a phone call with DH, one week ago, it seems BM expects ME to chauffeur the SKids around because she has to work full-time AND take care of her infant by herself, while, according to what the SKids report to her, "I sit around on my computer all day doing nothing".
Well, I took SD to her dentist appointment because BM told DH it was his turn and I offered to help DH because my schedule is more flexible as I only work part-time. I emailed BM and DH an update when it was over, and offered to take SD to her next appointment which I had scheduled at a time convenient to me.
BM responded:
SM31,
Thanks for the update. The days and times they usually offer are not convenient with the business hours that I have to work. I will bring them on the night of July 25th so you can take her. Thanks for offering.
"BM''s nickname"
Well, I took MY MOMENT. And responded:
BM's name,
You're welcome, and I'm confirming that I'll take her to her next appointment.
But just to be clear, I'm offering to help "DH's name", whose duty it is to take care of the kids, especially whenever it's inconvenient for you, because he works the same inconvenient hours as you do and more. DH & I have offered to assist with many things regarding SD & SS in the past, but you rarely support my involvement unless it's convenient to you.
We hope that you can make time every night to ensure that SD flosses properly before she goes to bed when she's at your house, as it is for the sake of SD's own health.
Have a good weekend!
SM31
******
No response from BM.
DH thinks she's seething and plotting.
I think there's nothing for her to say.
We shall see. 
- stepmom31's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I agree, in fact... um No.
I agree, in fact... um No. Would have been my nicest response.
This is one of the reasons
This is one of the reasons why I decided to go no-contact with BM. (My DH has primary custody, always has, barring every other weekend)
I couldn't handle the lectures from BM about "motherhood" and "my place" when I was/am IN FACT raising her two oldest children FOR HER (aka "because I want to")
She has NO PROBLEM with me doing the "dirty work"...but then she would "educate" me (via emails to DH) about how the kids "have a mother."
I decided that if I was doing what I do for my own reasons that have nothing to do with her, I had no reason to contact her. All communication now goes through DH.
Honestly, I COMPLETELY understand why you would send an email like this...believe me; I have written several emails just like this in my heart. But, depending on how the BM in your world is, I would advise that you refrain from "stirring the pot/beast" in the future...living well is the best revenge...and apparently she is struggling, despite her past proclamations of living well, herself.
Good luck, and I hope she doesn't go all apeshit on you
BM#2 was the same way only in
BM#2 was the same way only in her case she abandoned SS twice and rarely showed up and FDH and I had to constantly remind her to bathe him and makes sure he brushed daily. It was ridiculous but she was his mother. UGH!
She is most likely plotting. Good luck!
My vote is for seething and
My vote is for seething and plotting. Be ready, relatiation is coming.
I dont disagree with anything
I dont disagree with anything she has said to you previouslu. I have said the same to SM of my girls.
The difference is: I dont ask for favors or help. Ever. My kids my problem.
I love it when these women
I love it when these women think that they can control other adult women. You will not talk to me unless I am speaking to you. Oh yeah? Is it YOUR WORLD and I am just living in it??
Our BM tried to say that I couldn't park in her driveway. Okay, I allowed that. It is her property. I can see her point. THEN she tried to say that I couldn't park on the street in front of her house. Ummm, no, BITCH, you do NOT own the street! She threatened to call the cops to DH (because that always shook him up due to a prior mix up where he was jailed three times for the same thing that he had taken care of the FIRST time he was jailed...). When he relayed that to me, I laughed and said, "LET HER. I am sure the cops here will enjoy the laugh."
I think that's when my (soon to be) DH's eye got completely opened to the fact that BM didn't call ALL the shots just because she squeezed some kids out her vajayjay. }:)