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IRS headaches....daycare provider headaches...BM headaches--no, MIGRAINES!

Stepmom2Ched's picture

Well, the BM, even though the divorce decree STATES:

"The Father shave have the Tax Exemptions EVERY year"

decided to file her taxes claiming my SS7 so she could get money back for the daycare.

Oh, so I go to E-file our taxes and come to find out the child has already been claimed for tax purposes. I am NOT happy.

Luckily, DH's divorce falls within that time frame where he can show the divorce decree. I plan on going over to the IRS office (which is right around the corner where I live, not more than 2 miles away!) with the paperwork and tax return to see if we're doing this correctly.

So the daycare provider headache is this:

We called the provider to see how much was spent for 2009. She tells us $1627.50. DH asked to get a print-out. OMG this is a friggin' joke. It's a piece of paper with numbers on it, my SS's name and the daycare provider's name, address and Tax ID number on it. No dates of when payment was made, or WHO made the payment.

So BM claims 1/2 that amount, which is $813.75. Oh, that's a BIG problem considering that I have actual PROOF that DH paid $975 for the year 2009. So if DH paid $975 and SHE is claiming $813.75, Hmmmm, either the daycare provider is under-reporting her income, or BM got away with paying less than half. Like I said, we have actual PROOF (cancelled check copies and bank statement bill-pay proof!) DH spent $975.

So when I go see the IRS about how to file, I'm going to mention this to them about either the provider is under-reporting, or the exwife is over-estimating how much she spent.

Oh, and another thing to piss us off that BM did...Divorce Decree states that they are to exchange tax return information every 2 years. She refuses to give us hers. DH and I made a list of things she's NOT doing according to the decree/parenting plan.

What he plans on doing with that list is beyond me and my control, but it'll be in black and white once I type it up for him. (because I offered.)

I really detest this woman with a passion. I wish she'd fall into a hole and never find her way out of it.


Silver's picture


Grace@Love's picture

I like the final quote about who are supposed to be and remebering who we are. That's so true. And that's also my biggest struggle when I am dealing with his arrogant, abusive ex wife.I take the abuse "by association" so to say, sometimes it's straightly directed to me any case in spite of years and years of commitment towards their child with actions that speak volumes about my loving and caring involvement ( and I mean it, I do care a LOT ) I never ever get the chance to be able to speak " my own voice" and to be who I am when I have only to lower my head and allow her to be mean and get away with it.
It's killing me.
I can write a list of things that any reasonable person would go like: wowww!! The child is 15 now and has her own big issues with the mother since she gets to see with her own eyes what type of selfish human being she is.
It's my first time here. I looked for this site cause I needed to vent and take out years of struggles and pain.
I try to take the higher road all the time, be a better person, move on and learn from this struggle. I feel to be a very blessed person to have nice people around me who offer me all of their support any time chaos happens thanks to his ex causing troubles.They keep me focused on what really matters in life and remind me not to give value to the mean things she does or say, but there are times it takes me days to go get an hold of my inner self and be able to stand up again from a fall to hell.
I mean, the fact I am able to recognize at a rational level that i should not pain attention to all of that drama cause by doing that I give her power,it does not mean that all the crap she sends to us is NOT touching me or affecting me at an emotional level. That's the hardest part.
I am upset that we cannot be oursevles and have to submit to her demands cause otherwise the child will be used as a tool to manipulate and threaten my husband.
same story....just different day.
God knows how many people are out there like us.
But i'll post something later , at least it will make me feel good to freely be able to speak about this craziness I have to withness and accept by default.

Thanks for listening.

"We make a living by what we get. But we make a life by what we give".( Winston Churchill )

CadysMommy313's picture

I feel ya on wanting her to fall into a hole....I feel the same way about my DH's ex-wife.

bearcub25's picture

My coworker had this problem and I sent her the links for the local IRS. Anyone who is getting shafted needs to call their local office and file complaints.

southernbelle's picture

I do taxes for my friends, and this happens to my BFF every year...What they'll tell you to do is to go ahead and file a paper return (can't efile) with your DH claiming SS & his portion of the daycare. You'll get whatever refund is due. The IRS will set up an investigation will determine which parent should have the exemption, and will make whichever one is wrong either pay them back or take it out of the next year's tax refund. Good luck!

LizzieA's picture

We had the same thing happen. First year, we filed no prob. Of course she wouldn't sign the waiver so we had to send divorce papers. Last year, she claimed him so we got a letter. DH has the right every year! It was so underhanded as everything between DH and BM has been written up and signed. He ended giving her all his equity in the house just to get off the note and the responsibility for the property, which she has trashed! She wants EVERYTHING and deserves nothing. She is a horrible mother and was a lousy wife, too.