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Prayer support for DH please...

stepmom2011's picture

Tomorrow is school orientation. SD15 has been pleading her case over and over with DH to go to online high school. Although DH has said no each and every time, SD15 just says she's going to school online completely ignoring him. Today he is telling her to be ready to go to orientation at the high school in the morning. He says he is fine, but his stomach hurts, he is distant, preoccupied, I can tell... he is afraid of her! He is afraid of what how she is going to react when it is final and he expects her ready in the morning. If the past is any indication of the future... she is going to go off the deep end! Tantrum time. I am deciding if I want to go to the movies, or stay home. I was at the Doctor today and would really like to stay home, but I don't want to be part of the drama coming.

My mantra lately is "I will do what I want, when I want, without weighing in on what SD15 "might" react to" So, I should just chill out here. But I want to be here to support and comfort DH as he takes big steps for such a gentle guy. I know it's his job to raise his daughter. I know he regrets so much and wishes he could have one huge "do-over" but he is stepping up now and I want to hold him after he confronts his violent bully of a daughter. Everyone is afraid of her. I still am but I now know I have power over her. I WILL call the police if there is violence or property damage.

SD15 is still hiding in her room to protest my return. Funny thing is I DON'T CARE! I know when she comes out... she will try a little power play on me to see if I'm afraid of her still. I cannot WAIT! I know how to handle her now. I say, bring it. But tonight isn't about me.

Courage. DH and I both need it. I have been doing whatever I want. I love that she is in her room. Just wondering if I should make myself scarce for the impending drama. No, probably not. But, please pray for my sweet husband.

Comments

oldone's picture

I am not afraid of SS27 - even though he's been known to have violent rages when drunk. He's about 6' 3" at least and is 40 years younger than I am.

But if he ever lifts a finger against me he is going to be in prison for a LONG time. And our prison system is BAD. It would almost be worth a broken arm to put him away and erase him from our lives forever.

oilandwater's picture

Really? I think online school would be great for kids with a lot of self discipline or if they had a SAHM there to make sure they were actually doing the work. I don't think it's for everyone. My DD15 might be able to handle it. But my DS13 would probably not do well at all. I am not a teacher but I think they do so much more than just teach the class. School provides a structure similar to what these kids are going to have to deal with in a real job.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Are working parents supposed to leave their kids alone at home for this? How will kids learn social skills?

Starla's picture

As long as she finishes school why does it matter if its done online or not? I'm sorry if I sound rude but I don't understand why it would be upsetting for you. Does she have anxiety around others?

purpledaisies's picture

Why be so harsh on the open? I mean really her Dh has a job so WHO is going to help SD with her work and WHO will make sure it gets done? Not her dad as he works. If op doesn't it will fall on her and that is not fair.

If op has a job then again WHO is going to make sure this kid does her work? Geez people lets have some common sense.

Starla's picture

I think OP has common sense but education matters to her which is a good thing. I went through this with my SS and it boiled down to the fact that I knew SS could get A's and B's just attending school without trying and I would have pushed him to do so if I were his bio parent. I tried to only as a step parent but that is bc I care and wish him better then the chance I was not given myself.

purpledaisies's picture

I'm not talking about op not having common sense I was talking about the others who are being harsh. Saying what does it matter if she does on line or not.

Really? As I said who is going to be one to make sure SD does her work and make sure her life us balanced with interaction from others. That is why we have schools! Her dad works he can't hover over her

furkidsforme's picture

I know my SKID would like that because it would be easier to cheat and not do his work. I think online HS is a stupid idea for MOST kids. It might work in some cases.

purpledaisies's picture

I say harsh b/c op has stated before the reasons and I figured people were just too lazy to look it up.

Plus it is common sense to think first of WHO is going to make SD does her work and make sure she has the right balance of interaction. Plus thus child is on the computer way too much and in line school would deepen that addiction.

I just get so irritated with people just saying anything without looking at the whole story and come to find out yes they are too harsh.

I just wish people would give people the benifit of the doubt before they say something harsh. Its not just thus blog but many others as well.

stepmom2011's picture

Wow people! We have lots of debating over online school. That really isn't the issue. The issue is that I just returned home after 8 months of living apart from my family because SD15 kicked my ass on a regular basis and has been to juvie twice for it. DH needed time to get his parenting skills up to par so I could return home and still be safe. SD15 is the bully around here. Not a single friend did we see all summer long. She needs to work on her social skills. Therefore, she will be attending public school. Online school is a great idea... just not for our family and our situation. I am a stay home wife. I would be let home a lot with SD15 and I am not comfortable with that. DH is home a lot so I just do my own thing and he deals with SD15. She is still hiding in her room to protest my return.

Turns out DH missed registration. He feels horrible about it. He got the Freshman registration day confused with Sophomore registration day. All that dread... and he missed the day. Now it is going to be even harder to make her go. He is going to call the school and take her in, but knows he still has at least one more huge argument ahead of him. Confrontation is really hard for him.

Again, please pray for DH to have courage and to be the father that his daughter needs... gentle, but very firm. I love his gentleness. It's one of the main reasons I married him. He is doing a wonderful job parenting right now, but needs support because it is very hard on him.