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Sd13 rears her head again

Stepcop's picture

Christmas was a mess, though it could have been worse. The biggest problem was the very noticed lack of gratitude and a huge gussy fit she threw at my mils. She got $100 from her grandparents, on top of a bunch of crap she didn't even look at. Sd knows she isn't allowed to hold on to money, because of threatening to run away. So after she reads the card (stares blankly at the cash inside) dh picked up the money. She went crazy, screaming that it was hers, stomping her foot, the whole thing. She then runs off to the bathroom. Nice.

I go to check on her and meet her going down the hall, I said come here a second, and took her in a bedroom. I was making an attempt to explain that she is surrounded by people who love her very much, and watching her get crazy upset over some cash, that she knows she can have anytime she wants as long as its legit. She starts gritting her teeth and screaming at me over a comment I made the previous night at dh's dads. At dinner, I had moved her over a few chairs, to a smaller chair because dh's dad has to sit on an end due to a prosthetic leg.

Well apparently me says sd13 your butts small, that chair will be fine. She pitched a fit that night over being "downgraded" to a kids chair. Apparently the next day that had turned into me making derogatory comments about her body. Wtf?!? She blew up, telling me to never speak of her body again. I told her to calm down and be rational, she was way off on any intention, and I apologized if something I said hurt her feelings. As she is blowing up again, dh comes in, with mil on his heels. Before he can even as what is going on, mil pulls sd out of the room. But not before she could turn around and ask me how it would feel if she pointed out how fat I am?

Ok, I know I am overweight, and the little turd knows this is my weakness. I have lost over 100 pounds. Dh loves me and encourages me. She just took a low blow.

We return home after a tense night at mils. Dh had put a program to track sd's phone (texts, turns it off at a certain time, etc). Well. He decided it had been a few days, he needed to review texts. Holy crap, this kid could write porn with some of these texts. Bm is called and we decide we will all have a sit down with her. While looking right in dh's eyes, sd told us that she is sexually frustrated, and has been since she was 9. She put the blame here and there with movies she has seen, or whatever. Then says she wants and klikes the attention. I asked how much more attention can be provided for her that would stop her? No answer, I could not believe she said these things. She admitted she had made out with a few boys, and some heavy petting.

I pointed out some of the scarier aspects of sex, pregnancy and stds. She just rolled her eyes. Dh to,d her she needs to go in the bedroom and take care of her business. I chuckled at that one. Bm didn't say much, just sighed a bunch. Apparently the rest of the week with bm went well,,which is unusual.

She walks in from bms, plops on the couch and starts playing with the dog. Her uncle told her to get off her butt and get her stuff, they weren't going to carry it all for her, they weren't valet. Then she was gone to mils.

We get a phone call last night that sd wants to move to bms or with mil. No reasons, just mil telling dh this. Dh gets off the phone and throws it across the room. After all we have been through, the hospital, the doctors, the therapists, the expense, she wants to turn her backs on us. Dh is a mess, we already had some worries because of the tax hikes, etc. dh and myself work in law enforcement, me for the state and him for the Feds. We are looking at ave to cut back greatly, he might have to find another job altogether if the furlough them. There is a lot of tension right now. We talked a lot last night, but I don't think it helped him all tat much. Thanks for letting me vent. It's been a trial.

Comments

Willow2010's picture

. While looking right in dh's eyes, sd told us that she is sexually frustrated, and has been since she was 9
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
EEEEWWWWW!!!

Anon2009's picture

13 year old girls can really be a hot mess. They are prickly and if you or anyone else makes a remark that they feel is derogatory, they will make sure to remind you of it.

Disengage and let her dad deal with her. Let him fight these battles with her. Maybe she needs counseling, especially if she has been sexually frustrated since age 9. I hope she wasn't sexually abused. She may have publicly attributed her sexual frustration to movies she has seen, but a lot of kids are scared to reveal abuse. She needs love, support, help and discipline from her dad and, quite possibly, help and support from a professional.

Stepcop's picture

She's been with a psychologist and two counselors for almost a year, counselors before that for 3 years. She was hospitalized in may because she was "suicidal". Turns out later down the road, it was all a game. That's why the intensive counseling, she adamantly denies abuse, but I agree it sounds that way, all the red flags. It beaks my heart for her to keep breaking my husbands. He is a good dad, he has really fought hard for her well being. I'm out of ideas, all I have is support. The phone is gone, that's for sure though.

Willow- I know I was grossed out. I would have died rather than admit anything like that to my parents. Heck I still would,

hismineandours's picture

Yeah the first thing I'd do is tell the mil to kiss my fat ass and mind her own business. Seriously. If you two want to keep this young lady in your home I applaud you- tell her that under no circumstances will she ever live with nana. Furthermore if mil cannot support your parenting I would restrict contact