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That girl has a lot of quit in here....

Stepcop's picture

Dh spoke these words to me early in when we were dating about sd13. She has never followed through with any commitment and only half asses what she does do.

Two weeks ago the preacher from our church asks sd if she wants to e an acolyte (a very big honor). She says yes. We explained wat it will entail, that it is a big responsibility, and that this not something she can just quit like everything else, because the church will be counting on her. She again told us and he preacher yes. She did one lesson, and sat through one service for observation. This Sunday she s supposed to sit through another service for observation. Her friend (who means more to her than anything in the world because she was there for her when no one else was, "not either of you -side note I didn't know the kid- no one. She is more important than God and church. I made a commitment to her and I'm going) has an event she wants sd to go to. Se no linger wants to fulfill her commitment to the church.
Dh stood his ground and told her too bad, this is your job, and you cannot just decide you don't want to do your job because something more fun comes up. Se has a complete effing meltdown of epic proportions. Calling dh a racist (her friend is hispanic, and sd seems to only be attracted to very gangster Hispanic boys, no problem with the Hispanic part, big problem with the gangster, that or special Ed boys, but that's another blog). She gets her phone taken aay, she says many hurtful things to me and dh.

Why does she feel that she is too good to keep her word? I'm telling her tomorrow, if she bails on her commitment to the acolyte thing, she will be seeing a new counselor as well, as we are not going to ask the preacher (he has been doing her counseling, he is a certified counselor and has a good report with her) to give up his time for his commitment to her, when she is unwilling to do the same. The other counselor she had in the hospital and she can't stand him because he does not coddle her. I LOVED him. He called her on his bullshit.

I'm not sure why I'm even blogging tonight except to say I'm proud of dh standing his ground, and for the first time, he understood me getting my feelings hurt,and didn't tell me I was being too sensitive. So yay hubby, way to go!!


12yrstepmonster's picture

I think it is really important for children to finish what they start, to be taught about commitment, obligation, and consequences.

My sd, like yours, was taught not to finish what she started. When the going got tough she moved on. She's now 21, started college was doing well.....then when something more fun came along- she quit going to school. She dropped one semester took two semester of Fs.

I hope your dh stops this mindset quick.

Stepcop's picture

I'm scared to death she is going to be with us forever because of the lack of any sense of responsibility. My dh has tried to make her follow through, but as everyone knows,myou can only control what happens at our home. She said some hurtful things about dh and myself not being there for her during dh and her moms separation (btw I wasn't even around, and had never met her, she just wanted to stick a knife in dh's heart, he was there as much as the court and ex allowed, and even tried to take them illegally when bm put the kids I danger with one of her Internet pedophile boyfriends). She has a sharp tongue, which of course, one can only be hurt so many times before they start stacking bricks to build a wall. I guess it's different when it's your kid, but she's not. At one point I loved these kids as if they were my own. Now I just want them to not kill themselves and move out. Sd is psycho, period k dot (as dtzy would say). You are right, there is no part of here that will change.