What Would you do?
Over the last few days several things have come up with BM. Here are just a few of the highlights:
1) In court yesterday, she told DH, "you think you've got it bad, I'm going to have to get my own restraining order. i'm getting out of a bad relationship and he threw me out of a car the other night." a few minutes later she mentioned that the BF was in jail for selling drugs.
2) Last Saturday night, she sent DH a drunken text saying he could have full custody and that she was homeless
3) We spoke with SS last night and let him know that his mom won't be taking him to football so he won't be able to play. We also told him to PLEASE let us know if she takes him to sleep anywhere other than where they've been staying (the girlfriend's house that she left DH for). We told SS that BM told DH that she wasn't living with the GF anymore, but that she could have just been having a hard night. SS said that she was probably drunk and told us about how she was drunk and throwing up during his Christmas break visit with her and that she was telling him she was going to give full custody to his dad and that him and the GF were handing her tissues.
Currently BM has SS eowe and this summer she will have him two weeks on/off. We can go after her for contempt (breaking the restraining order and not taking SS to any of his events) and we could ask for a change in visitation - based on her not being able to get SS to his events, her continuing to state she's homeless, her calling drunk and then being drunk...
Or is it even worth it?
SS says he's going to talk to his mom about football.
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Comments
He just turned 14
He just turned 14
How old is the kid? If he is
How old is the kid? If he is in his teens, he can take some of this on. Also, at 14 he can decide what he wants to do and petition the court. BTDT and have the t-shirt. For my SS15, it was the best thing for him. Now BM is at arm's length with him and sees him for dinner once every 6 weeks. He is happy and BM who clearly shouldn't be a parent, I think likes it this way. It really doesn't sound like she is in a good space and maybe it is best if the kid starts dictating what he wants.
How do you go about doing
How do you go about doing this? Do we hire a lawyer? Can DH just do this on his own?
The thing with this woman is she makes everything extremely difficult. She will fight... just to fight. She fought DH in court for no reason about custody. He offered her every other Sat afternoon and Wednesdays after school. She then fought and said she wanted him over night on EO Sat. DH then said, BM should take him EOWe, but she kept fighting...?
The reason I ask is because I
The reason I ask is because I will be the one paying for this, and doing all the legwork on DH's behalf... and as much as I want BM out of the picture, what I've seen in the past is that I will go through all the rigamarole, writing statements, filing paperwork, prepping dh and then DH will just agree to something dumb or SS will say it's not what he wants after all.
I know SS is older now.
He's starting HS in the fall and will not want to be spending eowe at his mom's GF's house an hour away from home / friends / activities.
Exactly. This is what has
Exactly. This is what has happened in the past. DH is the custodial parent. BM is a hot mess, but SS still loves her. He didn't see her regularly for a good 7 years but the past two years, BM has not missed a single visitation. I think the novelty of BM has now worn off...
But we'll see.
This time I'm going to let DH lead the way and make things happen should he wish to pursue a change. DH has let SS know that HE will need to be honest with his mom. We'll see.
I told SS the same thing last
I told SS the same thing last night. His mom doesn't want to take him to football. So we need to convince a judge that you (SS) playing football is more important than you spending time with your mom and I'm not sure we can do that.