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Has the tooth fairy ever given YOU money for your child's tooth when he/she wasn't even there?

southernshellgirl's picture

Bm has only supervised visits with 5yo SD, and has been that way almost a year now.

At SD's supervised visit with BM, Bm pulled out SD's very loose tooth. DH and I were happy for SD and told her so. after the tooth fairy came, SD announced, "BM is going to write a note to the tooth fairy and put it under her pillow and get me some more money!"

DH and I were furious, not because she wants to give Sd money, but because we feel the visit from the tooth fairy is supposed to be a special experience for SD and she shouldn't have to be one up'd by her own mother.

DH told BM how we feel and she got angry of course. BM's mother told DH it makes BM feel better because she's missing out on being with SD. Well, I can see how it must be painful, but it was BM doing things only because they make her feel good that caused her to only have supervised visits with SD.

Dh and I have no desire to hurt SD by calling her mother a liar, but we feel it is our right to teach SD about the tooth fairy in the way we believe to be fair to her, and her sister from Dh and I together. BM has no interest in co-parenting or being on the same page, we on the other hand, consult her and consider her in all things we consider important.

We have expressed our opinion to BM, if she follows through with telling SD the toothfairy left money under BM's pillow and SD asks us about it we intend to tell SD the toothfairy the tooth fairy does not leave money under grown ups pillows. The tooth fairy is only for children, and only leaves money under the pillow of the child who has lost a tooth. We do not know why BM would say something like that, she must be joking.

I would love some feedback if anyone has an opinion or a similar experience.

Thank you.


forestfairy's picture

I think you're going to have let this one go. The tooth fairy isn't real, so BM's "lie" about it really isn't any less truthful than you and DH's version. I can see why she'd want to be be a part of the tooth fairy thing. I wouldn't tell SD anything if I were you. It would be like telling a small child that there's no way Santa could leave presents for them at two houses. I think you should let her get her tooth fairy money from both parents.

Willow2010's picture

I have to agree with everything Forestfairy said. This is NOT one of those hills to even climb much less die on.

HennyPen's picture

I'd have to agree with all the OP above. This isn't worth the time. Let kids just enjoy the magic of being kids..let her think the toothfairy can visit both places. Honestly..what is it hurting?

Colorado Girl's picture

Shells... what is this really about do you think?

I know you don't care about the tooth fairy.

BM's mother told DH it makes BM feel better because she's missing out on being with SD. Well, I can see how it must be painful, but it was BM doing things only because they make her feel good that caused her to only have supervised visits with SD.

I feel like this has more to do with it than anything.

I know she has put your precious SD thru so much... and this little dumb lie just adds to the monumental pile of crap that she's put her thru.

Mom is just trying to feel better about herself. I know this isn't the way to do it, and it's triggered what are some pretty frustrated emotions in you.

Is something else going on, sweet shells?

~Colorado Girl

Ps. I miss you. Smile

southernshellgirl's picture

Oh CG, you read me so well.

Our attorney has flaked on us and we go to final, JURY TRIAL, seeking termination of BM's rights in September. She agreed and we signed a contract for her to represent us for a flat fee, now she is adding charges on and not completing the job.

I'm so hurt and confused. We have not sacrificed taking our kids on vacation, not to mention a million other things we would like to have done, for 5 years while Bm continues to make selfish decisions and place SD in absolute danger to let her get hurt or killed because we can't afford to save her.

I know the rest of the world may look at this and say BM deserves another chance, but I AM a mother, I have raised SD from infancy and I know when she is in danger. Just the same as I knew something was terribly wrong while the Dr. kept telling me it was a simple virus and SD ended up having pneumonia. I KNOW!

I feel it in my gut, this little one needs protection, but every time we try to save her we are shoved around and she ALWAYS ends up being exposed to things no child should have to endure.

I ask God to punish me, not SD. I chose to have BM in my life, DH chose to place himself in the position to father her child. SD, did NOT get a choice. She deserves every chance to live a long and healthy life. Not for me, not for DH, least of all for BM, but because she is pure and innocent and she had no choice in being born to a mentally ill, selfish, self destructive, alcoholic, meth addict mother.

Thank you for asking CG, I needed to rant a little. I am so afraid for my little one. and so tired.


anabihibik's picture

That situation with your lawyer sucks and has to be stressing you out big time. Add on this little frustration, and I can see how you would target in on it. But, I think in the grand scheme of things, stressing yourself out about a stupid lie that BM tells her when BM could lose her rights and be out of the picture anyway isn't going to help you get through this. I think you're only going to compound what you're already feeling. This is such a "little" battle in the war. Cut yourself a break from it.