You are here

southernshellgirl's Blog

Has the tooth fairy ever given YOU money for your child's tooth when he/she wasn't even there?

southernshellgirl's picture

Bm has only supervised visits with 5yo SD, and has been that way almost a year now.

At SD's supervised visit with BM, Bm pulled out SD's very loose tooth. DH and I were happy for SD and told her so. after the tooth fairy came, SD announced, "BM is going to write a note to the tooth fairy and put it under her pillow and get me some more money!"

DH and I were furious, not because she wants to give Sd money, but because we feel the visit from the tooth fairy is supposed to be a special experience for SD and she shouldn't have to be one up'd by her own mother.

I've fallen in love...

southernshellgirl's picture

..with the idea of adopting SD.

I know it's silly, but I think the thought has always been in the back of my mind, I just have never allowed myself to entertain the idea. Maybe because of guilt because she has a bio mom and I have never wanted to replace that. And maybe because of fear that there is no chance it will ever happen.

It's crazy, but I almost find myself jealous of other posters who have been dealing with worse BM situations than I, as I get to thinking, "If only BM did that, I know the Court would be able to terminate her rights".

Blowing off a little frustration... not a real letter.

southernshellgirl's picture

Dear BM's mom,

I have givin this much thought, and I respectfully ask that you stop paying for your unemployed, mentally ill, drug addict daughter to take the Court ordered drug tests.

I do so for the benifit of all involved, as it is the protection of your granddaughter that my dear husband is suffering and fighting for in Court against your daughter, and that should be the common goal we all share.

Would you continue relationships with your Skids and BM's family if BM was not allowed contact?

southernshellgirl's picture

I would love some opinions on this.

As it is for now, BM is supposed to begin supervised visits at the Court as soon as they have an opening. Bm is not allowed any form of contact with SD outside of those visits.

DH and I have what I would consider a good relationship with BM's mother, who has been the one to call us the last two years when she knows BM is putting SD in bad situations.

But then,DH and I can tell that BM's mom switches sides and begins to defend and protect BM when bm turns to her for help.

Another successful Court date without an attorney.

southernshellgirl's picture

Just thought I'd share a Court update.

While the Judge acted in SD's interest in the hearing for temp orders at the end of June, the Judge ordered BM's attorney to draft the formal temp orders and submit them to the Court.

Of Course, as he did last year, her attny added crap that after 6 drug tests she'd get all her extended possession times and joint custody back. That was absolutly not what the judge said! She as threatening BM that she was close to never seeing SD again.

please cast your judgement! Should she ever get unsupervised visits back?

southernshellgirl's picture

I'd love some opinions on this.I'd like to know what the Court might be thinking so DH and I can prepare for trial. I'll start with a brief decription, and my thoughts.

BM has been an on and off mess since before I came into the picture 5 years ago. My husband has faught to protect my SD by going to court every year of SD's 5 year life, finally getting primary custody last May.

I said it for the first time out loud today....BM IS A LOUSY MOTHER!

southernshellgirl's picture

Anyone who has read my posts before have been able to tell (I hope) that I have honestly tried to give BM the benifit of the doubt in every possible situation. I have desperately WANTED to believe that there are reasons I just couldn't see for why she does what she does. As it turns out, there is, she's been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

But I have decided I must accept finally, that no matter what the reason, BM hiding out and avoiding contact with her one and only 4 year old daughter because she doesn't want to get served court papers, IS HER BEING A LOUSY MOTHER!

So CPS says they really CAN'T HELP CHILDREN, at least in our case.

southernshellgirl's picture

I just need to know if any of you have ever heard such a thing.

CPS is pressuring DH and I to go to court to modify the orders so BM only gets supervised visits with SD because BM tested positive for meth and is mentally ill.

They are insisting they CANNOT suspend BM's possession of SD because of the custody orders in place.


I thought CPS stood for Child Protective Services.

CPS vs Custody Order

southernshellgirl's picture

I'm so frustrated I have to blog it out.

CPS caseworker told DH and I that BM tested positive for meth and she is obviously mentally ill, but they cannot do anything about her visitation rights to SD because the Family Court Order trumps CPS.


They are strongly recommending DH and I go back to court to have the order modified to only allow BM supervised visits with SD.

Cute or CRAZY?

southernshellgirl's picture

BM called me yesterday and asked if she could get SD early today because she and new boyfriend (dating less than a month) want to take SD to the zoo with Boyfriend's niece.