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Drugs

Sohard's picture

So just found out SS 17, almost 18, has tried 2 types of drugs more serious than marijuana. Don’t know what. He is pretty hopeless, failing at school, no job etc. I came in a year ago. Have never parented as I don’t feel I have the right to. How do you tell a 17 yr old you are confiscating his mobile when you are not his parent? So what should I expect of his dad now he has this info? We found out from younger SS in confidence so cannot directly question. What do we do so things don’t get worse? Kid has super bad judgement

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tog redux's picture

You as stepparent do NOT confiscate his phone, it's not your place.  You let your DH know what's going on and then define your own boundaries, ie, "I am not okay with a drug-using adult child living in my home" (if that's your stance).  Let DH handle it how he sees fit, but keep your own boundaries clear.   Will you call the police if you find drugs in your home? Will you lock the door if he goes out and comes home on drugs (once he's 18)?  Will you break up if DH allows it to continue in your home?

Sohard's picture

DH has ordered drug kits. I wasn’t suggesting I would confiscate phone. I was saying I am not the parent and I cannot confiscate the phone. Anyway phone is gone half the time due to school failing

tog redux's picture

Sorry, this confused me: "How do you tell a 17 yr old you are confiscating his mobile when you are not his parent", but perhaps it was just a rhetorical question.

At least your DH is trying to do something about it, that's a start.