Should I contribute or stay disengaged?
Backstory....DH has three sons. OSS22 and MSS17 are PASd by BM. No contact from OSS in over two years. No known reason as he won’t respond to DH. There was no contact other than snarky mean text messages from MSS for over a year until recently.
Miss is the quiet one who just went mute and dropped out of our lives for reasons we don’t really know. MSS was always the mouthy hateful one who would spew venom and nasty texts to DH whenever he felt the need. However, recently MSS has been making contact with DH again. At first, about a month ago MSS sent DH a text blaming him for all the shit wrong in his life. Let me say that DH wasn’t a perfect parent, none of us are. But he was a very attentive father an loved his kids. BM started PAS shortly after we got together and DH stopped being her whipping boy.
Back to MSS. After MSS sent his text blaming DH for all the ills of the world, DH refused to fight or argue. He just told MSS he loved him and was here whenever he wanted to see him or talk. Slowly MSS has been texting a bit more. He will ask a quick question and then go silent again. But at least it isn’t hateful.
Now the kicker. MSS plays football. The players send out flyers asking for donations to help with the cost of camp. We got the letter this year and it was addressed to me only. Under relationship to player it has him listed as my step son. Now that in itself is shocking because he has never liked me. And my name was spelled correctly which makes me believe it may have been BM who sent it.
now part of me wants to donate some amount in the hopes it helps build the relationship with MSS and DH. And part of me is terrified to have MSS back in our lives. He has always been a nasty vile kid who would lie and be hateful when he didn’t get his way. I have no idea if he has changed since I disengaged years ago and he has been PASd.
Yea DH could contribute and leave me out if it. However the letter was addressed to me specifically and I handle all the money so I would be the one to pay it even if it were addressed to DH ( if DH asked me to). I’m not talking. Our huge sums of money. Maybe $50-$100 buck. Could even be less.
My main concern is...do contribute and take a chance MSS comes back for DHs sake or leave it alone?