Well I finally did it.
This past Monday I finally told my DH that out blended family wasn't working out and that I wanted a divorce. I was honest with him that I did not love him like a wife should but I was also as kind as possible about it. Well, he obviously didn't take it well that night. Being told your spouse is not in love with you can't be easy to hear. He is currently going through a custody battle over SD6 so the next night we sat down and calmly talked out the dissilusion of our marriage in the most peaceful way we can. He agreed that we are better off as friends. He asked if I could hold off on filing for divorce until after is custody hearing in March so it didn't affect his case. I told him that was fine because I'm not wanting to date or anything. We also decided that we would try and continue to live with one another until then so that we could both get our finances in order. Generally speaking we get along okay, so I think it could work. Although I'm ready to get my house back to myself, I need to bare with this situation so my kids and I won't have to struggle too much when he leaves with his extra income.
Last night we talked some more and he's been looking for houses. He was telling about one and actually sounded excited about it! He also asked me if I could teach him how to cook a little so he could cook for his kids. I told him on the weeks my kids were with their dad, I would teach him how to cook, but I would not be cooking for him and his kids when my kids are gone. We are basically roomates now. We also came up with a new budget so that he pays rent and half the utilities, internet, and groceries. He'll take care of his kids and I'll take care of mine.
I know some of you are thinking, how is it any different than what it was like before if he and his kids aren't leaving, but somehow it is. I look at him and his kids more as tennents than family and it seems to help ease my frustrations. And I know there is (hopefully) a non-messy end in the near future where I have my house back and my finances set up to support my kids and myself alone. There have been no arguements about splitting our things. The house and all of the contents in it were mine before we got married so he isn't trying to go for any of that. He basically has to start from scratch. The only thing we have gotten together in the last 3 years are our 2 dogs. He doesn't want them so I'm good there.
Has anyone else been through a peaceful split? Is it possible or are we just living in a dream world? Or has anyone started off amicably, but then it turned into a nightmare? Help guide me through this. We are keeping it under wraps for right now from everyone, including the kids.