SD6 is so helpless.
SD6 refuses to do anything for herself. She won't dress herself, buckle her seatbelt, put her shoes on, go to her room and get something she wants, the list goes on. BM and DH both baby her so badly that they are doing her a disservice. They treat her like she is 3 instead of 6. At school, SD6 does not act like this. She only does this with people who she knows will do everything for her.
This morning, DH had to be at work early so I had to get the kids to school. I lay out her clothes and tell her to get dressed, let me know if she needs help. She promptly calls me to her room to help. She was confused on how to put her underwear on! I handed them to her the correct way. She wants me to put them on for her. I told her no, she will do it. I have to get ready for work. She then puts on her pants and shirt and comes to the bathroom so I can fix her hair. She's already mad at me because I will not let her watch her tablet until she is completely dressed and ready. She comes to the bathroom pouting (oh well. Doesn't phase me). I noticed that she has failed to take off her pj top before putting on her clothes for school. Seriously? Why haven't her parents taught her this basic skill?
I would teach her myself but she resists being independent. Her parents have created a snowflake child. Oh so unique and delicate and fragile that we are all supposed to handle her like she will shatter into a million pieces if she has to do something for herself. I have very little patience for people like that. I'm more of a "suck it up buttercup" kind of mom. My boys just look at her like she's an alien when she acts like a toddler. She wants to go live with her mom because that's where she REALLY gets babied. Frankly I wish my DH would just let her. He doesn't spend any quality time with her unless you count sitting beside each other while she plays on her tablet and he plays on his phone. Honestly, I think he just doesn't want to pay CS. I definately NACHO his kids already because honestly, they are annoying. DH is even annoyed by them.
SS13 wanted me to help with his history homework last night (I'm a history teacher). I told him I would check his answers when I got back from BS's soccer game. I got back, he had not answered one question (T/F and matching). He told me he was waiting for me because he didn't understand it. (Again, T/F and matching) I refused because he wanted me to do his homework for him. Other BS10 helped him on a few of the questions because he's super into history and learns a lot on his own. I'm just so over his wheeny kids. My DH is raising kids who will never be productive adults if he doesn't stop treating them like faberge eggs. I wish I could just pick up my bio kids and take a short (or permanent) vacation from DH and his kids.
- Skinvasion's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
You can pick up your kids and
You can pick up your kids and take a vacation from DH - it's called divorce.
OR, you can tell him you are done parenting his kids and he will need to take over. There is no reason why you should be the primary parent while he sits on his butt playing with his phone. If he doesn't like it, he can send them to BM's.
DH is annoyed with his kids..
DH is annoyed with his kids... who are like this because HE IS A CRAP PARENT.
3 choices:
Up until 2 years ago, my 13
Up until 2 years ago, my 13 (almost 14) year old SS was expecting DH to tie his shoes for him. DH also cuts up food for both of his kids. I know they know how to use a fork and knife because I taught them when they were 9 or 10. They also act incapable of carrying anything for themselves, picking up and throwing away their own trash, etc. I told DH that if he wants to do all that for them, then fine, but I won't and I also expect him to take care of all that before I even see it.
Insane
That's insane! I would be embarrassed to be tying my kids' shoes at that age as long as they had no type of developmental delays. Now all the kids at my house are bad about not picking up after themselves. Just being lazy. Hell, DH is bad too. It takes me losing my sh!t every once in a while to get everyone up and cleaning.
She knows how to dress
She knows how to dress herself... she retaliated because you told her "no".
my feeling is that if a SP is in a position where they have parental responsibility, they need some authority. "Oh you refuse to dress yourself today... okay no tv or screen time today" and dad needs to back you the F up!
She won't do anything for
She won't do anything for herself because she doesn't have to...everyone runs around after her. It won't change until DH grows a pair and puts his foot down. He really needs to realise what a diservice he's doing her.
I told my husband very early on that parenting your kids is
not letting them play by themselves so you can be on your phone, its actually doing productive things with them
and physically interacting
I would have sent her to
I would have sent her to school in her pajama top - it affects her, not you.
My SD4 has been totally dressing herself for well over a year. Sometimes she gets her shoes on the wrong feet, and sometimes her clothing choices are unique, but she is totally capable of doing it and WANTS to do it. I don't understand parents that don't teach their kids age appropriate life skills. It is such a disservice to the kids (and ultimately to themselves).
I agree
I agree that she is fully capable of doing a lot more on her own than she wants. All of my boys were dressing themselves, fixing their own cereal, buckling/unbuckling their own seatbelts at 4. Her BM is the worst about babying her. She's even upset with us that we make SD6 sleep in her own bed in her own room next door to ours instead of in the bed with us. My boys do not have a SM as of yet, but if they did, I would NOT want them to sleep in the bed between their father and his SO. That's just weird to me that BM even wants that to happen.
Did it ever get better with
Did it ever get better with the 6 year old? Feel like I'm in a similar situation right now with my 8 year old SD. Her BM treats her like a baby and her father just does whatever she's used to at home. No one is teaching her any independence. So annoying! I made her start opening her door and buckling herself at age 7 because we were about to have a baby and I'm not putting her and my infant in, time to learn to be a big girl! And everytime she would open the door she'll drop everything she's holding. I just thought kids WANT to be independent like look I'm a big kid but nope not this one! So frustrating!!!!