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Sita Tara's picture

Hey there old timers-if there are any still around. Smile

Just wanted to pop in and say hi. Life is good. Due to start grad school this fall if my financial aid goes thru. If not I have a potential full time gig lined up.

And...I'm in love. Smile

An old friend, who used to be married to a friend of mine. He is cultural and that's a first for me. Very nice to have so much in common. Sweet man who is very kind to DD. Smile

It was a rough 5 months before I took my wall down. But he just patiently awaited me to do it. It's the first time someone didn't actively scale that wall and wasn't particularly interested in saving me from someone or something else. And that too has been a tremendous growth experience for me.

And...he kids. But likes kids and is great with my kids. He's in no hurry to get somewhere and actually neither am I.

Hope everyone here is doing well, is moving toward a better time after adjusting to the chaos. I will be specializing in helping blended families and high conflict divorces. At least that's the plan.

It is a freeing beautiful thing to let go of what was never really in my control anyway. I am the lightest I've been in about a decade. Life is just joyful. Blissful. Love filled. And zero drama.

Thanks to all from here who helped to lift me thru those dark days of 2009-2011. I don't know how I would have reached this point without you all.


Stepmom_Lori's picture

It's good to hear that things are going so well for you, Sita! You deserve it after everything you went through back then. And no kids?? How did you get so lucky to find a childless man? Wink

Sita Tara's picture

We've known each other, but not well, for over 10 years. He was married to a friend of mine actually- that's how I first met him. She and I weren't super close, just friends thru theatre. They divorced about a year before my divorce-not toxic tho -no kids and remained on friendly terms. She's not directly said anything to me about dating him yet (all three of us are FB friends) but I've noticed her comments to me the past few months have been extra happy for me. She's expecting her first with her new husband.

We have so much in common and just are having an amazing time together. We match in a lot of ways and our relationship is not at all based on what we can give each other or provide for each other etc. We are just really enjoying each other. I don't know that I've ever had a relationship where a man didn't have some expectations of what I could do for his life. My BF's only agenda seems to be doing things that bring us both joy. It's so refreshing.

I kept my wall up with him for about 5 mos even tho we were friends. I was over analytical of any actions or inactions on his part until a few months ago when I finally told him I loved him. It was like he was just waiting for me to decide I was ready and once I expressed myself and took that risk his emotional attachment rolled right out.

I've grown more dating this man regarding love, balance, and enjoying life with someone than I had thru either of my marriages.

I can tell you that I don't have one regret from my marriage now either- that I know now that I did everything I could to make my blended family and marriage work and I was in a situation so toxic that there was no way it could succeed.

I can also tell ya...

That doesn't seem to be the problem for me with my new relationship. Such a slow and steady pace. And reaping the benefits of all the hard work I had to do on myself to open up to him fully. Smile

arjuna79's picture

Oh how wonderful, Sita. So happy for you. Hope your health is good as well. Many blessings forward...

Sita Tara's picture

Thanks! So far so good on my health too. I still see a GYN oncologist every year (so I'm checked every 6 mos for recurrence.) Have had a few more biopsies but no other treatment so far.

Shaman29's picture

Oh Sita. I'm so glad you checked in. And I'm very glad things have turned around for you. You give me hope.

Sita Tara's picture

Still moderating- Not as much as I should be to help the others out because I'm not here for my own life anymore. Smile

I still don't know if I'm going back for this degree til I get my financial aid letter-and right now everything is delivered thru university email which is apparently a highly complicated thing to set up and I'm having trouble with my acct. Calling today for help on that to see if it's grad school or a job for me come fall. I'm good either way. I'm actually kind of thinking of just jumping into a job to secure benefits since my ex messed my COBRA up by switching jobs 10 days before the divorce and I didn't qualify as a divorced person because my COBRA started the day of the divorce- which only gave me 18 mos of COBRA instead of the 36 you are allowed in divorce. It's always something.

But I am releasing from worry. It will all work out. I think that's an easier place to reach when you are happy in every other way of your life. Smile

Most Evil's picture

Hi Sita! We miss you but am thrilled! everything is going so well for you. You deserve it!!!! Smile

BettyRay's picture

So good to hear from you!

Glad things are going well.


Sita Tara's picture

Thanks Betty Ray- hope things are going well for you too! I'll have to catch up when Anna's with her dad in a few weeks.

Last-Wife's picture

So good to see this update from you! I'm not on much any more either; I've worked through most of my issues, and find I don't need to vent as much.

Glad things are going well for you! Best wishes in grad school!

Sita Tara's picture

Happy to hear you worked thru your issues! Glad to see someone get there without the world crumbling as mine did. Smile