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Unbelievable BM and vacation horror

RedNeck's picture

Hello steptalkers. After some time, I have gained some courage in posting on here. And also, I have an actual reason to vent now.

I have one ss, who is 13 years old. I also have two dd, who are 6 and 3 years old. dh and I have been married for 7 years. So it has been a long painful process.

Let me just say that dh's ex-wife is a grade A bitch. She has made our lives extremely difficult and has always tried to alienate ss from dh. And recently, she has become even more evil in her ways and is winning.

The main issue now has been about the vacation disaster that happened. Shit really hit the fan. For the first time since we got married, we saved up enough money for a vacation. Because of the bad press lately, we were able to get a great deal on 5 night cruise.

We do 50-50 custody with ss. This arrangement makes everyone miserable but bm and dh cannot get along to make it easier on ss. And because of this, we would have ss with us in the first week of June, when we got our cruise happens.

But in April, bm calls dh and asks if she can take ss with her on our week to Atlanta with her boyfriend (that is a whole other issue).

Let me just say that dh really wanted ss to come. But without ss there, we would save nearly $900. THe cruise package and the flight to the port add up.

And since ss would be having a great vacation anyway, dh said it was fine. As long as ss has a vacation too, dh is fine with it. He made it sound like he was doing bm a favor when we were benefitting too. She said thanks and that was that. So we cancelled one child ticket and saved a bundle of cash.

And dh did not bring up the cruise when ss was with us so he would change his mind. And I should say that ss has become very different since Christmas. He acted like he did notlike our present and that he would rather be with bm during the holidays.

We just chalked it up to bm's bitchy PAS tactics. Yill now ss has been not as nice with dh, which makes dh very sad. But again, this is another issue. He is a good kid overall with not too many issues.

So you guys can guess where I am going with this. The day of the cruise, we fly down to Miami to the cruise port. My daughters had never flown on a plane before and were thrilled. We boarded the ship and dh just begins saying he should have brought ss too when we get a call from our neighbor.

What happened next is real, I shit you not. The evil bm dropped off ss with a suitcase full of clothes for a cruise. That vile, disgusting bitch played us. Our neighbor called us very upset because she realized what happened. bm just dropped off ss at the entrance of our street and drove off to Atlanta.

She even turned her cell phone off. What kind of mother does this? So in full panic mode dh calls his brother to pick ss up while we think of something.

At this point I am upset. dh says he will leave and leave me and the children on the cruise. I told him I was not doing that. I have never been on a cruise and I don't feel comfortable going alone with my small children. Maybe I should have sucked it up but I really wanted my dh with me.

In the end, we stayed on the cruise. dh called his brother and asked if he could keep ss with him. After, he tried to talk to ss and try to explain to him the situation. ss was having none of it. He was crying bad, and screaming at my dh on the phone.

The ship left the port and dh had to turn off the phone to avoid charges. The whole time dh had no fun. And because of that, I could not have fun either. Only our daughters made the most of it. That bitch managed to ruin something we had scrimped and saved 3 years for.

When we were driving home from the airport after the cruise, I cried hard. I was so disappointed.

We went to pick up ss from my brother-in-law's. He was not happy to see us. He pushed dh away and tried to punch him when he tried to hug him and say sorry. And he didn't talk to anyone else. Well he did once. To tell us that he would remember this until he died. dh told the truth but ss was not listening.

The very next day bm comes to pick him and acts like she missed him so much. He immediately starts crying and tells her that we left him and tried to blame it on bm.

Somebody give this bitch an oscar. bm starts crying and saying how could you do that to ss. In front of everyone at the drop off parking lot. I about jumped out to slap her face. Then I noticed her boyfriend was recording us from his car. I yelled at dh to get in the car. dh was shaking with anger. He told me he was this close to hitting her.

ss refused to come for his stay with us last week. He won't answer the phone that dh pays for. Or even text back.

Now dh is in guilt overdrive and wants to make it up to ss somehow. By taking him on a trip somewhere.

So we are saving for this trip and praying that ss will accept it as an apology. We don't even have proof about bm's plan because it was all done over the phone. Now all communication with bm is done by email, which is pissing her off. Serves that bitch right. dh told me he hopes she dies. I hope so too.

There you have it steptalkers. Can I please nominate bm for the fking bitch of the century? This woman thought it was more important to get back at dh then have her son go on his first real vacation since his parents divorced.

Does anyone have any advice on how to get ss to see through all of this?


RedNeck's picture

There is no proof. Just a record that shows there was a phone call made. So not really a way to show ss the truth. That bitch knew about the cruise. We planned ahead and let her know. ss knew about it as well.

bm will be dropping off ss next week because she has stuff to do. I am so scared of it will be. She is getting exactly what she wanted.

princessmofo's picture

The bf was recording you? Sounds like you were set up deliberately. Not sure what this bitch of a bm is playing at but I'd watch your backs. And keep the communication to all email so you have a record.

RedNeck's picture

Yes, he was recording us. That is why I called dh back. This was a major burn. We knew bm was crazy but not this evil, towards her own son no less.

We will not give that woman the time of day anymore. Everything by the CO. No favors. Nothing.

princessmofo's picture

And I thought I had it bad. I am beside myself over your poor dh and his son. The bm needs to have somebody hand her ass to her. I keep waiting for karma to catch up with certain people, like our bm (evil stink wagon), but it never does!! Truly this bm is operating on a higher plain of evil and malice.

RedNeck's picture

You are right. Karma never catches up to these women. I guess the rules of karma don't apply to the devil's incarnates.

bearcub25's picture

'The BM hates the EX more than she loves her kid'. Words I live by.

This sounds like something our BM would do.

Now we keep any major plans a secret, even if they involve the skids. DSO rarely talks to her on the phone and she rarely emails so it is rough trying to know what is going on and making plans when we do have skids.

RedNeck's picture

You are completely right. We were foolish. We thought she would want her son to have a vacation for the first time in 7 years. And she actually went on her own vacation too! While leaving her child behind. I will never understand that.

Now dh is trying to find a way to fix this mess. dh's brother told us that ss cried most the week.

princessmofo's picture

How messed up are our lives when we have to keep "major" plans secret for fear of sabotage?! When I was a little girl I never imagined my life would be like this. It's not fair, really.

bearcub25's picture


Last October DSO and I planned a secret 3 day trip to beach. He kept taking pics of the sunrise but I wouldn't let him post to FB (he's friends with the skids even though I told him to block them...its FB not real life). As we were leaving, I let him post a sunrise shot. The phone started blowing up within an hour.....come get me, I'm bored.

VioletsareBlue's picture

Holy shit. What a piece of trash she is.

My advice, continue email communication ONLY. Stick to the CO .. NEVER deviate.. EVER!

There was some advice a while ago about being honest with children when you have the proof in front of you. If she ever does anything like this again or your SS ever questions you again you SHOW him the proof (great reason to have emails). Hopefully this will eventually let him realize who is the monster.

RedNeck's picture

We told him and he did not believe us. bm can do no wrong in ss's eyes. dh made a mistake of not okaying the change of plans with ss first. I guess he was so so into saving the extra money that he didn't want to rock the boat. Now dh regrets it a lot.

princessmofo's picture

^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^ At this point the gloves are off and I would NEVER EVER (did I say NEVER) hide the truth from this kid!!! He's 13, not 3. Level with him. What's the worst that can happen? It's better knowing the truth, then him drinking the Kool-Aid that bm is cooking up.

PeanutandSons's picture

Has dh tried confronting her about the crews debacle? Maybe get a recording program on your phone and get her to admit to it (while she thinks she's in the clear on the phone).

RedNeck's picture

We never thought of that. dh was just so angry he refuses to talk to her. But maybe this would be a great way to get some proof. Hopefully she is dumb enough to confess.

RedNeck's picture

Exactly, dh wanted to cal the cops and report her. But we have no proof about her cahnging the plans. So I am sure the cops will support her. And after her performance, anyone would.

RedNeck's picture

That might be a good start. Showing him that we cancelled the ticket a while back might give some truth to our explanation. Such good ideas!

Jsmom's picture

You need to get that kid in therapy....Cut off the phone that DH pays for. BM played you and you fell into it. Everything has to be done via email that can be documented. I would be taking her to court for something everytime she does something. She needs to feel some serious pain.

Honestly, I don't know if SS will recover from this. My SD twisted something DH did years ago in her head and it has taken years for DH to even have a lunch with her once a month.

Good luck, and you really need to figure out a way to make BM suffer.

Poor kid...

RedNeck's picture

We can't afford therapy unfortunately. Maybe there are free ones available?

dh does not want to cutoff the phone because it will give ss another reason to hate him.

I really hope he forgets this. Sad

Jsmom's picture

He will not forget this...Guarantee it. Look into therapy with Social Services. Insurance pays for most of it as well. I seriously recommend it. SD brings up a similar situation every chance she can with DH. Used in court against him. It will probably come up for the rest of DH's life and let me tell you it did not happen the way she remembers it. Doesn't matter to her.

RedNeck's picture

When ss comes over next week, dh plan on explaining everything to him truthfully. Now id ss listens to him is another matter. But at least dh can try.

bearcub25's picture

I fully believe in telling kids the truth, age appropriate. After BM lost custody of skids, I never ever put her down and was her cheerleader for her to get them back. When she blew off supervised visits, we said she was in the hospital (her fave excuse), or didn't get her own HUD approved, free house, I made excuses for her.

Then SS started letting out the things BM was saying to him. He has behavior and mental issues so when he would have a meltdown, he would scream things at us that BM was putting into his head.

Now, I absolutely tell the truth in anything that involves BM. I'll be damned if I'm going to be thrown under the bus for her lazy ass when I didn't want to raise her kids in the first place.

sam44's picture

Isn't it illegal to abandon your 13 year old on the street? Aren't you legally obliged to deliver your child into the care of the non-custodial parent?

If I don't see my kids run into their BF's arms, they stay with me. I have to SEE them with him.

You can't leave kids in the street with a f*&king suitcase!!!!! I'd take her to court for that alone.

PeanutandSons's picture

Exactly, who drops their kid at an empty house.....and especially then turns off their phone and never checks to make sure their kid found dad and is safe?

And even if bm wants to pretend like she those ght SS was gong on the cruise....she was arriving super late. The family left hours previously and had already flown to Miami and were boarding the ship.

I do find it odd though that SS never mentions this cruise leasing up it it if he was under the impression he was still going. Wouldn't a 13 yr old be excited and bring it up?

And if SS already knew of the cruise, why didn't dad mention to him that he was no longer going and was going with bm instead?

misSTEP's picture

This is exactly why you NEVER do phone conversations with a vindictive crazy psycho BM.

Please tell me your DH will go email contact ONLY with this waste of human flesh with an ice cube for a heart??

KiFire's picture

FDH found a ring-back tone for his cell that was an automated "this phone call is being recorded for quality assurance purposes.." That whole regular spiel you hear when you call a company. It was pretty effective.

GameOn's picture

I just can't even fathom thinking, acting, or doing anything like that. No matter how much I may despise my ex my child's safety takes presendence over that. Email contact only from here on out. If she tries to pull a fast one like calling, let it go to voice mail. If it's an actual emergency call her back if not don't respond. If she texts don't respond. In fact I just found out through this site that you can block texts from specific people so that they can still call but can't text.

stepinafrica's picture

Wow! She is just scum. Please tell the child the truth from now onward. He is 13. He can handle it. He may not believe you now but in time he will put two and two together.

In the meantime don't let her know any more about your lives than she absolutely needs to know.

In fact, I would take over all communication with her from now on. Men can be dumb sometimes. Tell your dh you will be the one to send the texts and emails. (from his number of course)

Men often don't realize how devious women are so they end up offering too much info to your enemy.