dh can't stop feeling responsible
ss decided to finally come for his week with us. I am sure he came only because bitch bm needs her bi-weekly vacation. He came in with a rotten attitude. And he won't talk to us. I had to beg my children not to mention the cruise. I hid all evidence. Even the gift we got him. So now I can't even try and have good memories of the trip.
dh is making us treat him like a time bomb. Saying crap like honey and baby when talking to him. Not like it is having an effect on ss.
dh made plans to take a fri day off (he had to go through all sorts of loops to get this done). He wants to take ss camping for 2 nights. And when he told ss this, ss just yelled he wasn't going. well I guess when you expect a cruise and go camping instead it sucks. But that doesn't mean he has to act like such a turd. ss has never been this disrespectful. I am sure his evil mother is filling his head with her garbage.
He now calls the bitch everyday. No doubt he is complaining about us. Then yesterday, bm send an email saying that she is taking to a lawyer about possibly giving us only every other weekend with ss. She even said she is thinking about telling the police we abandoned ss. WTF!! And this scares me. We aren't rich. But bm makes so little with her part-time job that dh pays her $110 child support even though we have ss half the time. Now if she gets him more, dh will end up paying $350 a month. That is money we DO NOT have. We have two children here too.
dh is in desperation mode trying to make ss happy. He feels guilty for not taking him on the trip. But how is our fault? We tried showing ss all the proof. The call record and us changing the itinerary. But ss was unconvinced. He wants actual proof. And we don't have it.
And extra thing that made my blood boil. The bitch sent him over with snacks (potato chips and chocolate) because she was scared we won't feed him. What is wrong with this woman? And ss won't share these snacks with my children which causes fights everyday. dh won't discipline ss for not sharing because he doesn't want to upset him more. And i don't want to run out and get my children the snacks because I am trying to get us to eat healthy. The bitch found another way to manipulate our household. And we are letting her.
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Comments
How on earth have you
How on earth have you abandoned him? By not taking him on vacation? That is ridiculous. How old is your SS?
OP bm said she has plans for
OP bm said she has plans for ss, so they canceled ss cruise ticket, bm dropped ss off at house after they had left for cruise. Bm told ss about cruise but op and dh were already gone. Bm did so most likely to be malicious. Ss blames dh and no hard proof because bm did plans change over phone.
Exactly. Tippy toeing around
Exactly. Tippy toeing around his precious fee-fees is just giving him the thought that you guys MUST have done something wrong to be acting like he is going to freak out on you!
I agree! But my dh is scared
I agree! But my dh is scared we will chase him away and he won't see ss anymore. And then there is the issue of us paying more cs. Why oh why did I marry a man with a kid.
OR maybe he will see that it
OR maybe he will see that it wasn't his Dad but his MOTHER who screwed him out of vacation.
Thats the thing. We explained
Thats the thing. We explained very clearly that his mother had changed the plans. But she has brainwashed him. She had two weeks with him to probably get more and more angry at us. I don't understand how these women are mothers.
Maybe a trip to a counselor
Maybe a trip to a counselor is what you all need as a family. :? I don't know, hun. I am sorry that he can't see that it really wasn't y'all.
The bitch played dh like a
The bitch played dh like a fool. She planned everything out. And I mean everything. If I was ss, I would believe her too. I wish therapy was an option. We just can't afford it
I wish you could talk some
I wish you could talk some sense into dh. Because I sure as hell cant. We can't say no to his visitation at the moment. Its shared custody. Yea, it sucks, I know.
Life is full of
Life is full of disappointments he may as well get used to it and what better time to start than now. I would not be tip toeing around him in my house.
I wish I could make dh see
I wish I could make dh see this site for the advice. But I don't want him to feel hurt by what I have written about his son.
I understand RedNeck. . .I
I understand RedNeck. . .I have to periodically have to deal with similiar situations. When we first got married DH would feel terrible if me and my BS13 did anything fun when SD13 wasn't home. I tried to conform I really did but it was making me bitter. I finally had to let him know that our lives didn't revolve around SD and that he and BM let her pick when she wanted to come and visit anyway so planning with her included was difficult. He would go a week without speaking to me he'd get so mad. I should also add that my SD13 has never had a fun day in her life. She likes to be alone, she walks 10 ft behind us everywhere we go. . .take her to the movies and she'd skip a chair so she would have to sit with the family. We just recently took her to a Braves game with my company and she skipped 3 chairs at that one. But yet I was expected to make sure I catered to her schedule . .yeah right. Once she realized what was going on the behavior started to improve (slightly). We just overlook her . . that's what you get when you play with big girls who don't play games. While the my situation is different I get where you are coming from . . .trying to keep the peace in your household.
That is exactly how dh is. If
That is exactly how dh is. If it was every other weekend I would be pissed if he was acting like that. But with 50/50, he always schedules things on the weeks we have ss.
Its either that or have ss angry and unhappy at us. And that will just make dh miserable too.
My DH is finally starting to
My DH is finally starting to get out of this crazy stuff. I could not take it anymore and pretty much disengaged from the mess. I was tired of trying to please a child. Now the mantra in my house is . . .if she's here she participates if not oh well. But you know what most of the time she's here she doesn't participate anyway. DH opened his eyes! I'm so thankful for StepTalk it showed me the light
Yet another reason why swaps
Yet another reason why swaps should be set up that the parent exercising their time is the one to GET the skid.