I hate it when BF is difficult toward BM for the sake of being difficult!! GRRR
In the parenting plan, it says that if one or the other parent is going to take SS out of state for more than 24 hours, they must provide the other parent with an itinerary including contact information for the duration of the trip. It does not specify when this itinerary must be given to the other parent. We are taking SS with us on vacation to Florida next week - we pick him up on Friday and fly down on Saturday.BM does not want SS to fly. As a solution to this, BF has decided that he will wait until we pick SS up on the way out of town to give the itinerary to BM which includes our flight information. He will not discuss how we are getting to Florida with BM, he just keeps telling her that we "haven't decided yet" (come on, she's crazy but she's not stupid). I guess he's hoping that since he's waiting until the absolute last possible moment to give her the info that we are flying that that will minimize the chance that she has to make drama about it. Instead, she's making drama about the fact that she just plain doesn't have an itinerary. Regardless of what it says, she wants the itinerary. She sent me a message this morning inquiring about it, and saying that she had asked BF several times for it but he has yet to provide it. She left him a message this afternoon that said "I need that itinerary or SS won't get to go!" BF says great, let her start her crap...we'll show up with papers in hand and a deputy to pick up SS. I feel like I'm stuck in an endless pool of drama that is perpetuated by sheer stubbornness. Just give her the damn itinerary! She can't NOT let SS fly. Sure she can bitch about it but in the end she can't prevent it from happening. I told him that I would REALLY like to avoid drama as much as possible, so I would appreciate it if he could do what he could to minimize her chances of causing a huge scene on our way out of town. He would rather me just keep my damn mouth shut and let him do it his way. Well you know, it's my fricking vacation too and I'd like to start it off on a good note, not sitting at the end of BM's road for hours with fricking sherriffs and them standing around yelling and cussing at each other while I sit in the car getting more and more pissed off by the minute!
- Nymh's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Oy Nymh...
I know it's petty, and somewhat childish behaviour for your DH... BUT - at least he's standing his ground with her, right?
Is it possible he may be concerned that BM may be pissed about the flight, and 'disappear' with SS by the time you are to pick him up?? Based on that woman's history, I wouldn't put something like that past her.
Totally possible
However, I think that is still totally possible and possibly even more so if he doesn't give her an itinerary before we go to pick SS up. It's very likely that we will go there with the sherriff and papers in hand, and BM just isn't there. When she says "if ____ SS won't go" that means she'll do what she has to do to make sure SS doesn't go, including not being there at all.
I think that in that event, it would be helpful to us to have done everything needed and given BM all the information that she required beforehand so she couldn't claim that she wasn't aware, or that BF didn't hold up his end of the deal so SS shouldn't have to go.
If anything I think that he should at least send her an email that states he will deliver her a full itinerary when we pick up SS on Friday. That way at least we have documentation that he told her when to expect it so that's another piece of paper to add to our trail.
He always picks the silliest things to stand his ground about. He's OK with her planning SS activities on our weekends and even doing the extra driving to get SS to her house so he can go, when he doesn't just trade out the entire weekend...or it's OK to break up his two consecutive weeks over the summer and instead take a series of long weekends because she can't stand to be away from SS that long...but a travel itinerary? HELL NO you'll get it when I give it to you! :?
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
I think you just found your own solution!
"If anything I think that he should at least send her an email that states he will deliver her a full itinerary when we pick up SS on Friday. That way at least we have documentation that he told her when to expect it so that's another piece of paper to add to our trail."
This is the perfect solution!!! Or if he's too stubborn to send the email, why don't you send it from him?
I'm sure she's just looking for things to b*tch and moan about as the time gets closer for you to 'take SS away from her', and I'm with you. I'd want to start holidays on a good note as well.
I think the email idea would be a win-win all round.
That sucks for you
You sound like you just need a bit of drama-free time. The crazy thing is I have the exact opposite with my DH.
He would stop in the middle of sex, just to be at her beck and call...men? I guess they either one way or another!
Try to look on the bright side - atleast your DH has the spine that most ours are lacking...
"God grant me the serenity accept the things I cannot change; the strength to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.
We are in TN
too and our papers state the same but I do not think it includes how you are getting there just when and where and numbers. Even if BM does not want him to fly it is to bad so sad. She cannot determine that for ya'll. Why tell her anything other than it is none of her business. She can't do anything about it anyway.
Have fun at the beach. We went to Disney this year instead and I have SOOOOO missed the beach. How are you feeling by the way with 2nd baby growing? When is the baby due?
RE:
Well, everything has been harder this time around. I'm just mainly really tired but otherwise I feel pretty good most of the time. This baby is due 10/8 which is 8 days before my DD was due last year. She was born 9/30 so I expect to have this one sometime in the end of September before DD's 1st birthday.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Just give her
a very vague one - pick him up then after you have in the car run a copy of the actual one back to the door or email her an actual "updated" one once you have him with you.
I would write on it revised and the date what is she going to do- things happen plans change.
Nyhm~
I'm sort of dealing with the same situation, just a little different.
DH will bend over and take it on a lot of things BM dishes out (i.e. not taking her back for reduced CS, not making her sign the custody agreement changes) but will not bend on some of the little things. I finally stepped in this time and made the compromise, even though it makes it more of a pain in the ass for me.
BM and Skids didn't want to get up early to drive the hour to our house to be there by 8am. They all whined about it and BM has been brining them back Sunday instead. DH wanted Skids at our house before we went to work on Monday because we don't trust BM to be anywhere near our house while we are not there. I told OSD that BM could drop them off at my office between 10-11 and I would take them home from there. But BM was NOT allowed to drop them off at our house when one of us is not there. I also made sure I explained to OSD that it was her mothers's CHOICE to move an hour away and that once school starts again, they will be getting up early to make that drive on Mondays again.
So win-win-win for me. BM doesn't come near our house anymore, SD's don't whine and BM doesn't drop them off Sunday night instead and I get my night with DH back.