My 16yo niece thinks my 17yo SS has something wrong with him and is immature.
And she is absolutely right. My SS has been at my parents for the past week helping prepare for an RV trip that my parents are taking all of the grandsons (my SS-17, Nephew 13 and Nephew 8 ). My neice is taking a trip to NYC with her Mom instead of going on the RV trip while my Bro heads overseas for work.
My niece's two friends (16) have visited several times and my 17yo SS would rather get goofy with my younger nephews than interface with my neice and her friends who are more his peers.
This kid is in for a rude awakening when the world smacks him in the face when he returns from his final SpermClan summer visitation. No more goofy shit in our home. He will be a young man or he will be miserable. Maybe both.
My nieces opinion comes from discussions she, my SS and her friends had about my SSs prom. He proceeded to describe how they played video games and did goofy crap instead of more age appropriate activities during prom and at the post prom supervised party.
My niece is way ahead of the maturity curve due to several factors. She is 16 and looks like a Vicki's catalog model. She and her friends go clubing quite frequently due to living in a country with no drinking age limit. Not that she does not have her own judgement issues to deal with.
My Dad thinks that SS truly is on par with a 13yo and could have severe psychological reprocussions if he enlists in the military due to the intollerance of goofy kid shit.
My wife and I are without a clue on what to do for him and are at the end of our ropes with dealing with him.
However, he remains a well behaved, polite kid. Unfortuneatly he is showing no othe redeeming qualities what-so-ever at this point.
His Mom and I are tired.
Best regards.
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Ugh, the immaturity factor.
Ugh, the immaturity factor. I know it well. I still think that SD is 'stuck' with the mentality of a 13 yo due to the shock of her parents' divorce. It's like she hasn't matured 1 single day since she heard they were splitting up.
BTW - how was the road trip???
The road trip was enjoyable
The road trip was enjoyable with the exception of one incident that had me pulled over on the side of the interstate telling my SS to "get out". We drove my brand new car (we left the house with 800 miles on the odometer).
The precursor to me pulling over and telling him to get out was he smashed a bug in to the headliner of the car leaving a greasy black smudge that will be there until I have the car steam cleaned. Grrrrrrr!
The straw that nearly had him hitch hiking was when I noticed that as he pulled his bag from the back seat to the front he had been scratching the shit out of the consol. I pointed it out to him and told him that he needed to pay attention to what he was doing so that he did not damage other peoples property. I was aggrivated. Afterall it is a brand new car and the only blemishes on it he put there by keeping his head firmly rooted up his ass.
His response ....... "WHAT! How else am I supposed to get my stuff out of the backseat when we are driving!!!!". He was very disrespectful with a snarky beligerant tone to his voice.
I turned purple whipped to the shoulder and told him to get out. If he felt he was man enough to make it on his own then get out. I told him that he was now out of HS, about to turn 18 and disrespect of me, my wife or our property would not be tolerated at all. I asked him if he understood and told him if his answer was anything but "Yes Sir" he should just step out and make his own way in the world.
He replied with a very sullen "yes sir". I told him to try it again and got a clear direct "Yes Sir".
Other than that the trip was actually very fun and enjoyable. We drove Skyline Drive and the Blue Ridge Pkwy the first two days. We actually saw a bear which we both thought was absolutely cool.
Other than the incident I just described we had a lot of un.
I think I am just at the end of my rope with his maturity issues and beyond tolerating even minor issues.
Best regards.
Awww, that sucks. We just
Awww, that sucks. We just got a new SUV too and I know I'd be pissed if that happened to me. Maybe have him pay to have the damage repaired/cleaned or fix it himself?
But glad you two had fun. I've never seen a bear in the wild. Any lions or tigers? Oh, my!!
The only lions and tigers
The only lions and tigers shot out of my eyes when be beat the shit out of my new car.
As for him paying ...... he has never worked a day in his life and has no money other than what he gets from us. Maybe I will take it out of his first burger flipping pay check in August when he gets back from SpermLand.
Best regards.
He's a BOY! LOL.... every
He's a BOY! LOL.... every teenage boy i know is goofy, inconsiderate, ackward, and immature LOL ..are your niece's friends girls? Maybe he is being goofy around the girls because he is 17 and they are GIRLS?! LOL... My husband is 27 and would rather play video games than go to a formal dance! Not trying to be flip.. JMHO.
i would freak if skids f'd up
i would freak if skids f'd up my suv in any way (it was new when i bought it , but i have 50,000 miles now - but still, i'm 3 months away from NO car payment, thank the lord)...... as i've stated before i cover any part skids will be sitting on with a beach towel, put all their stuff in the back and disenfect after they exit.... both seem to always be rubbing/picking their nose and ss10 always having his hand in his mouth then touching shit ---so grosses me out...
one time dh & i were going some place in my truck w/skids and he said are you going to put a towel down for me to sit on, too? i said, are you going to pick your nose, stick your hands in your mouth and rub it all over my car? he has never brought it up again... he should no better by now than to get sarcastic with me..
Hmmmm sounds like a normal 17
Hmmmm sounds like a normal 17 year old guy to me.....cut him some slack
Zippy, Yes, he is a normal
Zippy,
Yes, he is a normal 17yo boy. However, with a severe immaturity problem. Fortuneately his Mom and I have his back and will drag him kicking and screaming in to adulthood ......... eventually.
I just spent the weekend with him at my parents with him (SS Nearly 18) and with my 13yo and 8yo nephews. My 17yo was in the back room watching cartoons with the 8yo while the 13yo was with the adults participating in adult discussions. Certainly the 13yo had some kid perspectives but he was interested in what the adults were discussing while the nearly 18yo (my SS) was more interested in watching goofy cartoons.
I just want my kid (SS) to engage in his own life and step up on the maturity curve to be at least within a year or two of his age rather than the -5 to -10 that he is at now.
He is petrified to be his age and step up in order to take responsibility for himself. When I left last night to drive from Austin to Houston he teared up (so did I) because he will not be home with his Mom and I for 8wks and when he comes home he knows it is time to figure out what he is going to do as far as work and school. Since he has almost no chance of success in college at this point in his life he knows it is either Army, Navy, Airforce, Marines, Coast Guard of flipping burgers at the local greasy spoon. He will not wrestle the couch in the living room. He will get a job and start to engage in his life and the transition from child to young adult.
The big challenge for me will keeping his Mom as calm as possible. She had him at 16 and has dedicated her entire life since then to being able to provide him with every opportunity and the guidance not to repeat her experience as a young single teen parent. She graduated with honors with her HS class, finished an undergrad degree with honors, an MBA with honors and is now a CPA.
She does not understand how our son (my SS) cannot finish a basic task, stay focused with school when she went from being a kid to a parent instantly at age 16.
In this situation I have had to become the calming influence which is new and unusual territory for me.
Best regards.