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Question ladies...on DH and his female friends.

Purpleflower09's picture

My DH and I work in a bar as part time jobs on top of our regular mon-fri , 8-5 jobs. My DH is head bouncer and he DJ's when needed and he also tattoos. He has alot of chicks flirt with him and such. He's not drop dead hot, but he's not bad either. He seems to never introduce me to his female friends...they know he is married but they dont know to whom. He will introduce me to his male friends...but rarely the female..actually I've only met one female friend of his and we are all good friends ( she is married with kids..she's great) would any of you have issues with this with your DH? I addressed it with him and now he's mad that I questioned his faithfullness.


Tx mommy of 3's picture

My dh has no female friends that ihaven't met. I don't have any male friends he doesn't know. It's called respect and it works both ways. That situation has the potential to turn bad. Stop it before it becomes a problem. At least I would. Who cares if he got upset that you asked questions. YOU are the WIFE.

caya506's picture

You should know all his female friends just as he would want to know your male friends. Would he get defensive if you were asking him why he wasn't introducing you to his male friends? If he wouldn't, then yes, something not quite right here.

PoisonApples's picture

Oh, doesn't that burn you up crayon?

My SO has a problem with calling the AAA. We had electrical problems with our camper last year and had to call them out 4 times. I had to do it each time because he refused.

About a month later he's talking to his dad and he mentions during the conversation how this dumb, skanky slut receptionist where he works had flooded her car so he called the AAA on the membership I pay for to come out and get her car going!

This skank used to be friends with him on fb and she was one of those who sends out 20 or so updates a day, all slutty and suggestive - things like 'sign my petition to get pole dancing added to the olympics', crap like that.

It wasn't that I was jealous, she's a flirt and a skank but I don't think she'd go for him, it's that he couldn't be arsed to call AAA when we need it. As for FB, my family in the US was connected to his FB from mine (which I rarely even look at) and they would see these 20 times a day slutty things she'd post. I found it humiliating.

She's not his FB friend anymore, btw.

stepmasochist's picture

He should introduce you. I would think something was up with that as well.

My DH, the older ladies love him and are always flirting with him. My MIL will tell me how the ladies she works with with say, "That son of yours is a good looking man." I told him he needed to find a sugar mama with one foot on the banana peel so I could start living in the manner I plan to become accustomed to. Wink

Pantera's picture

I used to bartend part time and DH used to bounce part time at the same bar. We both used to make it known that we were together. You still have your buttheads that don't care if DH is married or not, and thats not DH's fault, but in my opinion, you should be introduced. It would be one thing if he didn't introduce you to the males, but he does, so you should also be introduced to the females, that just doesn't sit right with me.

winehead's picture

Oh don't get me started. With my DH it's a pathetic ego thing that he has these women friends. I've met them but then the shit hit the fan when I saw some of their email correspondence. I truly believe he has not and would not be unfaithful, but just HAVING these groupies is an adolescent ego boost for him. I hope that's all it is with your DH too.

Rags's picture

I gotta shred my man card once again on this one. In the situation you describe I would be introducing my wife to both my male and female friends.

I may be a bit obsessed with her but I speak of my wife as often in the real world as I do on-line.

You have every right to be ticked at your DHs behavior on this. It may be perfectly innocent but you definately are not being unreasonable.

My wife has been introduced to all of my female friends (and male) and is friends with more than a few of them. Even one or two that were friends with benefits back in the day. She knows about the historical benefits BTW.

Just my thoughts of course.

Best regards.

Purpleflower09's picture

I agree and my problem it jealousy? or is it instinct...sometimes I can never tell.

winehead's picture

Doesn't matter if it's jealousy or instinct. To me it seems like he's not introducing you on purpose for his own selfish reasons, whatever they are. That's just not how partners behave. No reason a husband should keep his wife hidden from any of his friends, male or female.

Rainbow.Bright's picture

The situation as it is, is not the issue here. You have expressed that you are uncomfortable with not knowing these female 'friends'. Instead of doing what a husband should, making the situation as comfortable as possible for you (you aren't asking him to do something extreme!), he is getting defensive and putting you in the blame saying you don't 'trust' him. That is a real jerk way of saying "I don't want you to know them." That is the REAL issue. All he would have to do is introduce you to them, so simple! That fact he refuses to do so is not right!