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Step son

Puca22's picture

Si I have a 5 yr old step son,that my SO of 4 yrs had in his party days with this girl that ended up lying to him but telling him that the little boy wasn’t his son because she was still with her boyfriend when the messed around,we’ll fast forward 2 yrs and he’s now living with me and my Daughter that he has loved since before she was even born,I was 7 months pregnant when we started hanging out..we’ll she found out he had a daughter and decided to call him up and tell him to go get a paternity test done because she doesn’t know who the dad is and didn’t want to ruin her relationship if her guy was the father..we’ll he didn’t go because he didn’t want to have problems or worry me if the child wasn’t his,turned out the guy wasn’t the father and my SO supposedly is the father. There hasn’t been a test done on his side because he is taking her word on it but we never saw any paperwork of the other guys test results. Well fast forward to now it’s been almost 3 yrs of knowing him and having him in our home with us whenever the mom allows us to have him,and there’s just something that always bugs me about him. I can’t stand hearing his mothers name or hearing her voice,I hate how she did things with my SO and practically skewed him out of a normal relationship with his son,and it bugs me so much,how she’s call during the day when he’s at work,and his son isn’t even with him,because I watch him when dads at work. I don’t know why I can’t stand him,and I’ve thought of many reasons but it all goes back to how he’s not always around us. He’s almost 6 yrs old and he’s super behind in  very way,speech is just awful,he can’t do things a child his age should have no problem doing,he doesn’t know how to brush his teeth,he couldn’t dress himself intill I got him to try to do it himself,he seems way of on his education level. And it all goes back to how he’s raised with his mother! I don’t know if it that because my daughter that’s 4 does a lot more by herself than he does and my 2 yr old is learning faster than him,and it might be I’m just not used to having to do everything for a child who could do it by themselves. I don’t hate him,but I can’t make myself feel lovable twords him. I don’t hit him,yell at him,punish him,because I don’t feel like that’s for me to do, it at the same time I can’t treat him differently than my other 2 kids. I don’t know could I just be a bad person?


hereiam's picture

Why would your BF not do a paternity test? All of this and the kid may not even be his. Some men are so dumb.

SteppedOut's picture

Agree. It is very doubtful that my formerSO "son" is really his. His exwife was a cheat and became pregs. Instead of questioning paternity he was just over the moon about "being a dad" and "having a boy".

One time he told me he had doubts (doubts? it seems obvious especially since she was caught cheating..). But, he would never take a paternity test because it would just "hurt too much" to know. Yes. Ignore facts and OBVIOUS clues and raise a child that is the product of your ex cheating is sooo favorable. 

Maria10's picture

Paternity needs to be proven. period.

You are taking care of the child of the woman who tried to ruin your relationship. And you don't even know if this is your SO child or not. Your So put you in this position for a few years. He can solve this situation by taking the paternity test.

I also understand he might feel he is raising your daughter that is not his so why do you not want to raise a child that could be his?

Like someone told me: you always know who the mother is but you are never sure who the father is!



I love dogs's picture

Definitely take the paternity test! Is he paying his ex money for child support? Also, this boy shouldn't be your problem when dad isn't home. He can visit when your SO is there. 

Harry's picture

You can be stuck with this child the rest of your like,  food, clothing, medical bills, schooling, college, wedding, cars ect, ect,  and you don’t even know if this child is his.  Let the real father paid for this kid