Am I wrong?
Ok so SO's kids flew in for spring break on Friday. Things are going well since they've been here. We have a court date today, so keeping fingers crossed! But here it is.
I have a VA doctor’s appointment this week. Originally when I scheduled it my SO was going to take an early lunch come home, and watches HIS kids while I went to the doctor. I've waited on this appointment since the latter part of Dec! Yeah the VA is SLOW!
So this morning SO tells me that I might have to take his kids to my DR appt. I told him I would not take them. He said I could just leave them in the waiting room. I explained that I can't just leave them in the waiting room. For 1 that's not appropriate, 2 they are loud and disruptive bouncing all over the place knowing these kids they would run off someplace.
I am not their mother, I don't mind watching them this week while they are here during the day, but I feel like I have to put my foot down with my DR appt. (since I do most of my work from home, I'm here so I don't mind, I've rearranged my schedule to accommodate them this week)
I feel like SO is taking advantage of me, by wanting me to take them with me to the doctors. The appt is nothing "personal" so they could go in the room, but I don't want the boy who is a messenger to his mother to even know I went to the Dr much less anything else is said. He could stay at home but SO doesn’t want him left alone to snoop through our house.
I've tried to explain to SO why I don't want them to come, but he keeps twisting it around like I'm some bad person who won't help him out since he needs help with the kids. I just feel like we aren't married yet, I'm doing everything already to help him out with the courts, and the kids, I'm always supporting him with all this mess going on, why can't I have just one DR appt to myself?
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Comments
no, you're not wrong. this
no, you're not wrong. this was planned in advance, you aren't springing it on him. it is HIS responsibility to find a sitter for his kids, not yours. you go to that appt, and drop his kids off to him at work if you have to. you have to show him you are not going to be taken advantage of, or it will never end. he is trying to make you feel guilty when you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Not wrong at all! They
Not wrong at all! They aren't your kids! You have been awaiting this appt for months and should be able to go without any kids in tow.
Tell him to take a few hours off and come home and watch them, or hire a babysitter for the duration of your appointment, but do not give in and take them with you!
Your not wrong at all and
Your not wrong at all and your SO is taking you for granted. Bottom line, they are not your kids. they are HIS kids. If you have a commitment since December, you are entitled to keep that commitment. Your SO needs to help you as well - its not all a one way street when it comes to skids..
I guess I do not understand
I guess I do not understand some of your DH's. DH tried to get me to watch SS a few times, but after some issues, he knew better than to ask again MUCH less EXPEECT it. And I NEVER asked DH to watch my kids. EVER. They are MY kids not his.
Just say no.
Exactly!! You aren't
Exactly!! You aren't married! If he didn't put a ring on it, you're your #1! Not his kids.
"I won't help you out? I'm
"I won't help you out? I'm worry I thought I'd already rearranged my work schedule to watch YOUR children the whole week for YOU. But since I"m not helping you out I guess you need to find daycare for them instead."
You are doing this man a HUGE favor by watching his children. He can suck it up and come home early or he can hire a babysitter for the time you're gone. You are being more than generous helping out this man and if he doesn't appreciate it, sheesh! I'd be tempted to really not help him out at all since he seems so frigging ungrateful about it!
Tell your SO that he will
Tell your SO that he will need to hire a babysitter to stay with the kids while you're at your appointment.
You can even be super nice and offer to find one but he will need to pay for it.