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Dumpster Diving

princessandthepee's picture

The good thing is, the trash bins we explore are ours. A few weeks ago, princess made an appearance at our home.
She did this, of course, while we were not home. We were at my folks' lake place with my two sons.
She knows, because she has been told for a year and a half that she is not to come to our house unless she has informed and been granted permission by her dad, my husband.
We have had salamanders as part of our family for years. They are rare and beautiful creatures, I am in awe of them. Did you know they have the ability to cross fire?
princess, during her last unauthorized visit, stole one of the salamanders. How strange, how bizarre. She took a transporter cage, filled it with new moss (we know this because the cage is gone and the old moss was tossed onto the top of the kitchen garbage, the new bag of moss ripped open and a square gone).
pee is going to be 18 in a few months. He leaves wrappers from whatever food he makes over the counter and on the floor. He would rather lose his cell phone than clean his molding leftovers from their ceramic and plastic surfaces.
I think that's fucked up.
My husband found the moldy dutch oven by the water hydrant when he went out to feed the chickens this morning. He asked pee about the bowl, asked him, did you throw it away?
pee answered, no.
My husband looked in the trash. pee was annoyed his lie was exposed.
I have one more year with this foul son of a bitch.
pee and I have an understanding. He is no one I will look at or acknowledge. There are strange stoney silences in our kitchen, akward moments where my sons try to relate to him. He's not capable.
pee has even become symbolic and shit. One of the very first things my husband and I bought together was a mardi gras mask while we were in New Orleans for our fourth date. pee lifted it off its hanger in the kitchen and did god knows what with it.
You could say I hate him.
princess told her dad an elaborate lie about how she renewed her vehicle tabs. she got pulled over for expired tabs, no vehicle insurance (she told him a whopper about that one, too). she got her license revolked.
Idjuts, in my opinion.