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Social media and skids pic posting

pixielady's picture

A little annoyed- DH called SIL who lives in another state to wish her a merry Christmas. She follows me on instagram and Facebook. When SS8 stb9 was here for his Christmas visitation, we went to this nearby well-known park one afternoon (the time when SS cried about having a wet sock) for an afternoon of family fun. Needless to say- the crying diminished the fun part. But anyway, I post photos of DS on social media occasionally, maybe 2-3 times a month and all of my accounts are private. SIL comments that she saw the pic but that she didn’t see any of SS. Mind you, I’ve NEVER posted any photos of SS. I barely post any photos of DH. There are several reasons for not posting photos of SS- I’m pretty private, I don’t care for him much, and if I were a BM I wouldn’t like it if my child’s SM posted photos of him on social media.

This SIL participants in the “SS is a poor COD” with the rest of the Inlaws, so I felt like this was a passive aggressive comment. And because DH didn’t allow FIL and MIL to come visit this time during SSs trip, apparently I’m now supposed to post pics of SS for their viewing pleasure.

So now SM needs to worry about how often she posts pics of skids on SM. More of a vent. Thinking about removing all of them from social media but that seems like an aggressive move.


ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I’ve considered removing the in-laws from social media too. Lol. The ex was using them to spy on me and I don’t like feeling watched anymore than necisarry. Lol.

Might be a bit overkill, but I would be frustrated too. Personally I post pictures of the Skids, they’re my girls, and I’m the one raising them, BM is blocked and doesn’t have to know... She hardly sees them anyways, and only uses them.... But it’s your social media, if they’re making you uncomfortable then why keep them? But I’m also losing tolerance, so maybe don’t listen to me...

Sorry you’re going through this crap, just post what you want and ignore their crap! It’s not really their business!

lieutenant_dad's picture

Tell your DH to handle it and ignore SIL's comments. I have good relationships with my SSs and a tolerant one with BM, but even I wouldn't post pictures of them. It can cause drama that I'm not interested in.

If SIL persists, block your updates from her. Less agressive than unfriending (again, drama), but keeps her from seeing anything.

Or be direct and send her a private message telling her you don't share photos of SS, but if she'd like a picture to contact DH who will send her one directly.

ESMOD's picture

I would probably do all of the above lol.

I would tell her that you don't feel it's your place to post pictures of a child that isn't your own. If her brother wants to do that, he can.. or his EX, but it isn't your place.

pixielady's picture

Yes, I can figure out how to block updates on Facebook, but not on Instagram. I don't know if it has that blocking updates function.

queensway's picture

Some family members can't help themselves. They know it all. SIL needs to keep this stuff to herself. She is being nosy and meddlesome. I would just keep posting what you want and forget about it.

BethAnne's picture

Get your husband to send her some pictures privately and he can tell her that as you are not one of parents you do not feel comfortable posting pictures. Make sure he asks her not to post the pictures herself.

pixielady's picture

Yes, I mentioned it to him and he will be talking to her about it. Who knew that every aspect of your life, including social media, is impacted by skids?! It's like you can't take one step without being judged about how it impacts skid. WTH.

They are all friends with BM on Facebook, so I don't know if they are taking pictures off my Facebook and showing them to her. I think I need to defriend and block.

advice.only2's picture

I had this issue with my SD who lived with us fill time. I would post pics of my kids and then I would get comments like "where is SD?" or "Cute pics too bad SD wasn't there." I finally snapped one day and responded "If you want to see about 1000 pictures of SD just friend her of Facebook, she updates her selfies hourly, since my bios aren't on Facebook feel free to enjoy the photos I choose to share of them." after that crickets.

Stepped in what momma's picture

Good for you, I am glad you stood up for yourself. Sometimes us SM's get beat to shi* and don't defend ourselves the way we should.

Cover1W's picture

This wasn't a skid issue for me but I removed my mother, sister's in-laws, BIL (since been re-instated), and my dad. Once someone starts making personal commentary and jabs on your FB page (hey, it's yours, it's not a public service), they lose access.

momjeans's picture

This is my stance, too.

You (general “you”) can have opinions or feelings about something all you want. But once that thought or opinion jab is placed in my sphere of social media, it’s fair game to send you to the airlock. Dirol

Aniki's picture

Once someone starts making personal commentary and jabs on your FB page they lose access.


momjeans's picture

I’m the same way, pixielady.

I no longer take photos of, or post photos of skid on social media. Once upon a time I took 2 or 3 photos of skid. One of them holding our newborn, the other at a zoo. I posted them on my very locked down social media accounts.

If I recall correctly, my MIL snagged the photo of skid and our newborn daughter and posted it on her FB. There were dozens of comments asking who the baby was, who was skid in the photo with. People had zero clue MIL’s beloved golden child’s 2nd wife was expecting a child - had said child. It was pretty hurtful to read.

On top of that, there were occasions people would ask where skid was on photos of us and our children. I just started cutting people out of having access to my Instagram and FB. A lot of it was “poor COD” backhanded passive-aggressiveness.

I’ve since removed ALL of DH’s family members I was once connected with on social media. Easily 8 people.

SpaceCadette's picture

If you had posted pics of SS, you would have gotten lambasted for posting pics of a minor that was not yours. Ignore it and block people who complain about what you do.