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Not Going to Kiss your 21YO Kid's Behind - Admitted Rant

pinkb's picture

DH,

On the Never-ending Story of “you hate my kid”, you need to drop it. I’ve said this before. This will be the last time.

I’m sure SS21I'm is brilliant.

I’m sure he works his ass off at school and makes great grades (not that I’ve been privileged to see them despite my contribution to paying almost all of his tuition).

I’m sure he’s going to graduate and make 100K/year (BTW, how’s that summer job making $30/h that I lined up trying to help him out work out as it’s already May? Ooops, I forgot... he he had to "think about it")

Next topic:

You went to college with little/no help.
Your brother went to college with little/no help.
I went to college with little/no help.

I’m NEVER going to throw a ticker tape parade for SS21 until he achieves something significant particularly given he had a lot more help than anyone in your family or mine to get through school.

Oh, wait. He’s graduating a year early, right? Ooops. Just kidding. That would be 6 days from now on the 20th. He’s skipping his own commencement to go on your hike, right? RIGHT.

Quit coming down my street on this shit, DH. SS21 and I get along just fine. When he does something extraordinary I will reply in kind. You can kiss his ass all you want in the meantime.

Comments

pinkb's picture

Yep. He had to think about it because he didn't want to move away for the summer (company paid for) because he didn't want to leave his girlfriend at home. There was no reason (outside of a round trip plane ticket) that she couldn't have gone with him

When he was "pondering" this decision I shared with him that he probably had 2 business days MAX before the job was filled by someone else. Who makes $30/h at 21yo without a degree?

He figured it out (6 WEEKS later) but the job was gone. SHOCKER.

pinkb's picture

Rosalu, I like your thinking. "That's nice, dear" is going to become a regular part of my vocabulary.

And, you're right. My SS isn't a bad kid. Just used to getting absolutely everything handed to him on a silver platter since birth.

Money is out. DH has a ridiculous amount of debt that I'm not bailing him out of again. The tuition for the first 2 years is water under the bridge. Daddy wrote the checks but that was money that couldn't be contributed to retirement or savings or anything this WE wanted to do and at this rate "we" would retire at like 95. Whatever. They took out loans for the last two years. And, there's nothing to say I can't retire and let his ass keep working.

Watching Daddy pay the minimums on his credit cards but paying more than that on the kids has been slowly making me crazy. That together with the fact that kid's not paying his school loans. Daddy is. While SS takes extravagant vacations and spends $150/day snow boarding.

The only reason I'm not certifiably nuts is because of you guys/gals.

somethingwicked's picture

Holy Heck.
You are a golden SM to this unworthy 21 yr old entitled brat.

Why didn't he want to take that job you had lined up for him?

Oh wait. I KNOW! Because the Evil SM had a hand in it.

He obviously does not trust your motives and probably thinks you have some nefarious long term goal like trying to help him become successful in life while he has his sights set (albeit very very off the radar L-O-W ) to grow into the largest ,stinkiest couch potato known to mankind.
Right?
And your DH needs a reality check.

pinkb's picture

Thanks somethingwicked... you pretty much nailed it on the head.

There are probably a few reasons he didn't want the job.
1) It would have required a (paid for by the company) summer move which meant leaving his puppy love girlfriend behind. No reason she couldn't have gone with him. Nice girl, but you can get a job at a chain pizza joint in either geography but let's not forget the importance of sex every day
2) This was a REAL job that would have given him a 5-star pedigree with a big 6 accounting firm on his resume coming out of school (stupid risk on my part, in hindsight). It would have required WORK rather than the random coffee shop shit that he works at here and there.

And, my motives absolutely (kinda) had ulterior motives. If kid is making $30/h then there's no excuse to continue to subsidize him.

YEP, wicked wicked wicked stepmother. That's me.

If I hear one more time "but that's not work I would really enjoy" one more time. I wish I could quit MY job, too!

somethingwicked's picture

He's 21! Time to warm up the launching pad, right?
Especially as he shows no initiative to improve himself.
This man wants to stay a boy.
Kick him out.
Let him fail on his own ,under his own craptastic slum lord hovel apartment roof with his pizza joint queen main squeeze by his side.
Then maybe when he's eating cold leftover pizza for every meal the dim watt light behind his eyes will snap on..maybe.

Where is DH in all this? Enabling a future failure ,that is , random coffee shop shit employee of the month instead of a Bonafide Profession in an Accounting Firm that will serve this man child all of his days .
Your ulterior motive looks mighty altruistic to me.
Time to disengage when neither father nor son can discern or appreciate the gift that is you and your efforts.

I was the wicked stepmother,too,btw.
Sooo evil when I wasn't standing on my head while spitting silver nickels and playing the castanets to entertain and enrich the Toxic Terrible Twosome.
Nothing was ever good enough .
I am now a Disengagement Club Card Carrying Member.

somethingwicked's picture

No ,girl, no!
Put the crack pipe down......here..try this mellow ganja doob..
LOl Wink
RIGHT?
Need something to deal with this surreal Step life setup.

pinkb's picture

DATE CHANGE!!! No Daddy want's to subsidize until 6 months after college graduation. Good times.