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Summer Food Whinging And the Come to Jesus Meeting

Pecanflower's picture

Color me completely befuddled!

SS15 has been whinging, complaining and being a spoiled little twerp when it comes to food lately. Everytime I turn around he is asking me to go "pick up something decent to eat."

Excuse me? Did we not have that conversation about not having fundage for any extras? Did we not have that conversation about tightening the belt? Did we not have the conversation that SS15 has put on a beer belly lately and needs to cut back or change his habits?

This morning I let the Testosterone Duo sleep in and I head to work. Later I see DH online and he tells me SS15 is whinging about the food. "There is no white bread. How come all we have is wheat bread? And I am out of Chef Boyardee stuff. What am I going to have for lunch? Dad, you need to walk to Rite-aid and get me something to eat. This is just ridiculous!"

Reminder: my husband has MS and shouldn't be walking down to the Rite-aid in the heat.

I called the house and made DH put me on speaker and read SS15 the riot act! I told him that I was the only one who was going out and earning any money in our house; I bought him those Chef Boyardees to be nice...I won't buy them again. He has several packages of hotdogs in the freezer. He will eat those for lunch with wheat bread or he will eat peanut butter sandwiches on wheat bread or he will eat NOTHING. It is my job to make sure he has a roof over his head and food in his stomach. It doesn't have to be fancy or even tasty food. If he complains again, he'll get PB&J for breakfast, lunch and Dinner until he gets a job and can buy his own food.

DH backed me up.

SS15 didn't even argue. I think he knew I was DONE DONE; because I wasn't yelling but had on my "Julia Sugarbaker voice." It's the voice that scares him the most. I should use it more often.

Comments

ESMOD's picture

When my YSD lived with her grandparents, she was always telling her granny that "she didn't have a taste for X" (whatever granny was fixing). So granny would fix her whatever she wanted.

That girl is generally a good eater but would be picky just whenever she felt like it. Also a master of ordering food, not eating it then letting the leftovers rot. OH.. and don't get me started on her ordering large drinks.. taking two sips and then letting them sit around. left in my car etc.. arghhhh!

She is on her own now.. so guess she can cook "whatever she has a taste for..lol"

She actually knew better than to complain to us about what she was being fed.. we didn't coddle her on that.

Pecanflower's picture

The ONLY thing he can have that is different from what DH and I eat is when and if we ever order pizza...because I love onions and SS15 hates them. And I will get my own before I will go without. Wink

ESMOD's picture

Actually, I hated that I was the bad guy in a situation that was a lot of times created by someone else.

Like when my EX and I were married and he wasn't working and I had to be the "bad guy" and tell him we couldn't afford to buy something he wanted. I mean, DUDE, you realize if you were working, we could afford it right?

CLove's picture

LOL. Winona SD18 is a pescatarian and only eats eggs or fish as meat. She is always bugging Dah-Dee to get her special noodles or sushi, or this or that. And then making a mess. And not cleaning it. So frustrating when these bratolas assume that because they are DNA-linked, they are entitled to being catered to. SO has admitted that he likes catering sometimes. He bought special tarts the other day, one for him, one for me, and a giant one for Winona SD18. I was a little miffed. THAT was the one I would have liked. I did not pursue it as he took he and I out to a lobster and steak dinner with oyster appetizer later.

You pick your battles! Good job standing up!!

FieryEscape's picture

Got to love the food wars. My SDstb9 likes to whine that we are starving her because she isn't allowed endless junk food. She can eat as many bananas , apples and grapes for snacks as she wants. She wants to eat endless chips and cookies - NOT happening.

Your DH needs to explain to his kid that there is a food budget and his wants are not part of it.

What is being done with the Disability stipend from DH for your SS ?

Pharlap's picture

:jawdrop: "you need to walk to right aid and get me food!" I would have been murdered if I spoke like that to either of my parents. I guess it's to hot for precious SS to walk on his own to get the food he thinks he deserves?

ESMOD's picture

At 15, the kid is old enough to earn a bit of what we liked to call "OPM" (other people's money). That is money that is not an allowance which is basically just trading money in the family!

He needs to get on the computer and put together a little flyer.

Handy Helper for Hire

My name is SS15 and I live here in the neighborhood. I would like to offer my services to my neighbors so that I can earn some money this summer. Need grass mowed? Garden weeded? Help cleaning out your garage? Walking your dog? Pet Sitting? Other jobs?
I am responsible and hard working. Let me know what you need done. My starting rate is $7.50/hour. I will also accept set fees depending on the job.

He can go around the neighborhood during the early evening and hand out flyers and introduce himself....

twoviewpoints's picture

He' not starving if he can still whine over wheat or white bread.

I don't know how hot and humid it is today where you are, but where I am nobody should be walking to the grocery over a loaf of bread today.

I'm sorry things are so tight right now. Don't be too shy to call and ask about your local food pantry if necessary. Until then tell SS hot dogs and wheat bread will be fine. A bit extra mustard and he'll hardly tell the difference Wink

FieryEscape's picture

I'd die if I had to walk to the store in the 90 degree humid crap we have here.

I will never understand the whole " pride " issue when it comes to asking for help when you legitimately need it. If the OP's DH is that broke and can't feed his kid them he needs to hit up Food Pantries But from what the OP has posted before , it sounds like her DH likes to blow money and short change the household.

Liger's picture

A possible reason he is gaining weight, is because he is eating (cheap?)hotdogs, pb&j, and chef boyardee.

His dad need to go to the food banks or figure out how he can feed his kid. If it is a pride thing, there is no different from relying on you a (genetic stranger to your so) and relying on charity from other people.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Nope doesn't fly in our home. The kids eat what is made or they don't eat at all. The little one will refuse sometimes to eat dinner. Then an hour later he's coming back saying he's hungry.

Me-"Dinners still on the table" or "I'll get your dinner out of the fridge."
Him- "I want that" (Pointing at whatever junk food he can see on the counter"
Me- "You still have dinner"
Him- "I don't want that"
Me- "Then you must not be hungry."

Sometimes he'll eat and sometimes he'll pout about it and go to bed without but then he eats in the morning. Like you said your job is to make sure he has food not whatever snack food. It's important you guys remain the adults and you decide what gets served at home. Until he makes his own money to buy whatever junk food he wants you guys are in charge. If you let him get away with it it only harms him in the future. I had a "friend" who literally only ate McDonald's 10 piece Chicken Nuggets, LARGE Fries, and a LARGE Dr. Pepper. No other size would do. Well tough luck when she didn't work and couldn't con our mutual friend into buying food for her anymore.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

I also use my Julia Sugarbaker voice when I want to make a point without raising my voice and be assured there will be no return comments.

"And that, Marjorie – just so you will know, and your children will someday know – is the night that the lights went out in Georgia!”

"Imogene, get serious! Who do you think you're talking to? I've known you for 27 years, and all I can say is.......if God was giving out sexually transmitted diseases to people as a punishment for sinning, that you would be at the free clinic all the time!"

momjeans's picture

Boy do I remember what a hormonal ass my DS was around that age. Between 15 and 17 years of age is the absolute worst!

He'd try to exercise his wanna-be authority with me as I was stepping-out to go grocery shopping with a long list of empty calorie crap food. I compromised and allowed him one thing (his was those nasty cheese or pepperoni frozen Party Pizzas - he LOVED them) and the rest were healthy, cost effective versions of what he wanted. If he wanted canned pasta, I made huge batches of pasta, so he could microwave a bowl.

I agree with the others. Don't be the "bad person" here. I get that you're the breadwinner, but his dad should be putting him and his outlandish demands to rest.