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Well, BM is persona non grata for SS16

Pecanflower's picture

It's been forever and a day since I have blogged. I have been so busy with college and homeschooling SS16 (who if you have been here a while, you know is autistic).

DH is dealing with his MS getting worse. I am tired. In other words, life goes on.

BM, or as I refer to her, The Waste of Human DNA, phones SS16 every once in a while, usually with some grand scheme in her crazy life. The latest scheme was that she was going to move to Florida to be closer to her other son (not DH's) who is in prison there. On her way to Florida, she was going to stop and visit SS16 and spend some time with him. He was excited. Even tho' he hasn't seen her in 6 or 7 years, he still loves her and wants to connect with her.

But of course, fast forward 6 months, she calls DH and tells him to break the news to SS16 that the move isn't going to happen. She broke up with boyfriend, didn't get accident settlement, can't find the fundage, whatever the excuse is this time. 

We told SS16; and he broke down crying, and actually said, "Why doesn't she ever want to see me? No one will see me? Am I doing something wrong?" 

It broke my heart. I did my best to tell him that HE is doing nothing wrong and that he does have two parents who love him very much. 

Last weekend, he and I were cleaning his room (OMG a TEENAGE BOY'S ROOM!!!!! THE FILTH!). While cleaning I came across a photo frame of his mother and I said, "Now look, now that we have cleared all this trash and clutter you can actually put this up where you can see it,"

He said, "Ummmm, Lisa? No. Put that away, on the other shelf where I had it. I am still very angry at her. And hurt. Why does she keep lying to me? I'm not stupid, you know? I am slow, but I am not stupid. I am still angry with her. I don't want that on the top shelf."

Again, my heart broke for him.

May I just say...I fucking hate that bitch.

Comments

Mystic18's picture

I can't tell you how much I admire the way you speak of your stepson.  I have an autistic SS11 who I internally battle being in the same room with.  He's very difficult. Did you have a hard time in the beginning or is your heart larger than mine? I hate myself for how I feel about him because many of his issues are not his fault (some are learned, bratty, obnoxious behavior that he picked up from BM, who relinquished custody to us 5 months ago).  At the same time, our house has gone from peaceful to chaos in a matter of months and that doesn't help getting used to having him full time. 

I am sorry to hear that you had to listen to his pain and that he feels it.  That's got to feel terrible.  

Siemprematahari's picture

I commend you for being such a wonderful SM to him and so glad that he has you and his father to love and nurture him. I do think you & H shouldn't have had to be the ones to break the news to him. It should have came from her and it's awful that she even put that on you guys.

Sending you strength and know that you are doing the best you can and he's so fortunate to have you as a great support in his life. I loved the fact that you took her photo and told him to place it somewhere that it can be seen. You may dislike her but you placed those feelings aside and put his feelings 1st.