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Well he HAD to pull THAT card didn't he?

oneoffour's picture

Disclaimer: I hate cigarettes. I hate the smell. It turns my stomach. In fact it makes me want to hurl so badly I usually have to go into the bathroom in case I do. In my man-stakes it was a dealbreaker and you, Mr Smoker, would be the first off the island. DH is an ex smoker (gave up 10 yrs before I met him)

DH and I carpool to work. On the way to work this morning I broached his sons plans for Easter Sunday. Does he know whether they are coming for lunch or dinner because my DD and SIL are coming for dinner and I am not cooking 2 big meals. He said he didn't know and he hadn't heard from S19 in over a week. Then he HAD to say it... "Probably because you told him he couldn't smoke on our property"... and the reason is??? Because the lazy kid doesn't pick up his butts and clean up after himself. His brother smokes but he always is presentable and picks up after himself and doesn't reek of cigarettes (see disclaimer: turns my stomach). And suddenly I have to compromise my standards to accomodate his son. And then it happened "Well then I guess I never see my son again."
PITY PARTY CENTRAL!

Sorry mate, you 'won't see your son again' because your son would rather smoke than see his father. Do NOT pull that crap with me. First you eat my bundt cake and then you want me to bend my rules and go so far as to put a coffee can with water in it and a lid on the porch AND back deck so the boys can dispose of their butts in it. Sorry, I have standards and THAT isn't one of them. Pandering to some kids habit. And why don't I buy some syringes and hand them out to drug addicts? Grrr!

DH knows my strong feelings about smoking before he married me. It is definitely a deal breaker for me. In fact if he pushes it I am likely to leave him over it. His son contaminating my property and my garden and his lungs compared to me being in charge of my own home. I know it is his home as well.I cannot control anyone else and I understand other people enjoy smoking and good luck to you. You aren't smoking in my house and expecting me to wash your clothes. And you are not expecting me to keep a bedroom available for you in case you call by.

So now I am the bad guy. DH is REALLY pissy about this one. The thing is SS21 is very respectful and we agree to disagree. He picks up his butts and doesn't leave his cigarette packets lying around. So I wonder if DH will pick me up after work or am I walking home the 10 miles?

Comments

majka's picture

:jawdrop: your husband would really make you walk home?!?! What an ass. And I support your views about the smoking, your house your rules... why are we ALWAYS expected to bend our rules for everyone?!

bi's picture

dh is being an idiot and refusing to face the facts. his son would rather smoke than see him. or maybe he doesn't want to come at all and he's using smoking as his excuse. my mom recently quit, something i thought would never happen. i could be in her house for 5 minutes and i would leave smelling like i had been in a bar for 3 hours. bs4's hair and clothes would stink after being there. any time my mom went anywhere with me, she chain smoked in my car and acted like a cracked window was good enough. she had no respect at all.

i have an aunt who came into my house smoking years ago. i told her to go outside with it, i didn't want it in my house. she glared at me with a mix of shock and anger and said "fine, i'll just leave and never come back then!" she said it like it was a threat. i told her she can do what she wants, but she's not smoking in my house. once she saw that she wasnt' going to scare me with her threat of never coming back, she reluctantly put it out. like i'm really gonna be heartbroken if someone who has no respect for me or my home never comes back! :?

Rhyleighblue's picture

Wait... WAIT!

He actually said that he will never see his son again....??!??!

He can't see his son outside of his home?? He can't go get a cup of coffe with the son? He can't take his son out to dinner sometime??

What the hell are you doing to your husband, you evil woman?!!

I can only imagine that you are keeping him handcuffed to a water pipe in your basement and forcing him to sleep on a filthy mattress!! Do you feed him dog food too?!!

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!

Or....

Your DH needs to man-up and stop being a whiney little boy about this. Hell, my DH was a happy, content and PROUD smoker when I married him. I made him stand outside in snow storms and one class 4 hurricane to smoke because I have asthma. Then because I am the only wage earner I went on strike and refused to buy him anymore cigarettes. He had no other choice but to quit smoking. Yeah, we fought hard and often about that... But he isn't smoking anymore }:)

Your DH needs stop trying to manipulate you and take responsibility for his own choices. Either he sees his son or not... It's up to him to make it happen.