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My Ex and his wife in Australia

oneoffour's picture

I know things weren't good but it has turned to tragic.
A year ago his wife dealt with the death of her father. Her mother and siblings are next to useless. She had to make all the decisions. He died in April-ish 2017. Only about 6 weeks after he died my ex's wife was diagnosed with dystonia. This has rapidly progressed and she now is in a psychiatric hospital with rapidly progressing dementia. She is 55 and 2 weeks ago knew who her husband was. Now, she has no idea who he is. She had pulled a knife on him a number of times and he had to get her committed because she was a danger to him as she seldom slept. Her own children who are all in their 20s do not visit her. They post pictures on FB of pool time and shopping while their mother is slowly and steadily dying.
She even has episodes where she forgets to breathe.

This woman has always been polite to me. We are friends of FB. I am so sad at her quick as a blink deterioration. The Drs say 5 yrs, my daughter who lives there thinks less than a year. And at this time I feel so terribly sorry for my ex. He is 56 and has a progressively demented wife. Who else experiences that at his age?


notasm3's picture

Many years ago I worked with a young woman whose mother was diagnosed with Alzheimers at 47. I changed jobs and moved across country so I don't know the final outcome there. My BIL's MIL was in her late 60s when diagnosed with Alzheimers. Went from being a lovely, normal person to a violent person to dead in less than a year. It's sad.

ndc's picture

A close family friend had early onset dementia at about 60. It never got to the point where she tried to harm anyone and her husband kept her at home by having help so that she was never left alone. She died about 2 years after she was diagnosed (which was about a year after she started having memory issues). It was very sad for everyone involved.

Indigo's picture

I feel so badly for your ex, your DD and yourself. Early onset dementia is frightening.

Several years ago, I knew a gentleman in his 50's who was a dynamic businessman with early onset Alzheimer's. Within a matter of months, he stopped any pretense of going into work, lost his ability to perform familiar tasks and eventually lost his ability to even dial his cellphone to ask for help from his wife. I particularly remember his fear --- he'd get halfway through something and then stumble to a halt, lost. He'd get lost on the trail with his horse and we'd go find him and bring him home. The sense of being lost, frustrated and angry dominated his life as the months went by. One day, he just stopped showing up.

moving_on_again's picture

My son's 8th grade teacher's wife has early onset dementia. She was also kind and sweet and now she is violent. Her husband had to have her institutionalized because she was too violent to even be in a nursing home. She's been battling now for at least 5 years. She was in her late 40s or early 50s.