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SO talks like we're going to be together over a year from now, scary

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Thu, 08/08/2013 - 8:29pm

SO asked when my sister was getting married, I said probably sometime in October next year. He says, does that mean I can wear a Dracula costume to the wedding?

I'm thinking to myself, dude, you just locked me out of the garage because you were mad I left the house without telling you. We had a big blow out a week ago, and I'm still shell shocked from it. SO keeps smothering me, and he's catching on that I don't like it.

I just want to tell SO, um, we're on the month to month plan, so don't go making all kinds of assumptions.

Of course, I said nothing, I'm totally avoiding conflict. SO's tactics to shut down my scary lady rage have worked, he knows I probably won't pick another fight with him anytime soon.

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Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Fri, 08/09/2013 - 5:42am

I was exaggerating a bit with the 'scary lady rage' but I was very angry when he scolded me in front of SS. I'm not used to being disrespected like that. It seems like whenever I mouth off, he takes it to the next level. He has a short fuse and I'm sick of it. It's getting old. Je can't handle it when I'm angry or when I express dissatisfaction. And when I go that I'm certainly not raging, I'm just mad and annoyed. I'm not going crazy on him or anything.

Yes my tongue bleeds now. And yes I hate confrontation especially with him. He spends the whole time invalidating my feelings, being condescending, which makes me even angrier.

I think I may try to write a letter or something. If its verbal he'll use all the same tactics again and I won't get my point across.

furkidsforme's picture

Submitted by furkidsforme on Fri, 08/09/2013 - 9:38am

Why are you with someone who treats you this way and acts this way about your feelings? That is not a relationship.

Get out and go find a MAN.

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Fri, 08/09/2013 - 11:08am

I dont want another man. I've dated too many a-holes I must have a kick me sign on my back. If I leave I may just stay single. I don't feel like moving right now. All I've done for the last few years is move and I cannot handle the stress of another one. Besides, it's too hot right now, and I'm too tired.

Also it's nearly impossible to find a good rent house that takes pets. I'd have to get an apt. So I can leave, and I may end up doing that. But I'm putting up a fight before I do. I'm not cooking for his son, not really cooking for him.

He's somewhat malleable but it will take time and I'm not sure I have the patience. When the weather cools off I'll have a clearer head to think about things.

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Fri, 08/09/2013 - 1:31pm

Not out of the house. I could come in the house. I think he shut off the power to the automatic garage door opener so I couldn't pull my car in when I got home. I can't even prove he did it, but when I asked if he messed with it he was evasive and said I don't know...why did you leave? I kept asking him if he messed with the garage door switch and he kept answering I dont know. He was super mad I left and didn't tell him.

Later that night I asked him again and he laughed and responded no. I don't care if he did it or not. He was messing with me as punishment for leaving. He was just being really immature and manipulative.

He's not a complete monster, my posts are very negative about him, I know. He's overall a good dad, a little lenient but not too much. His son's grades have improved immensely now that he's living with SO full time. SO is overall financially responsible, he has no debt other than his mortgage. He has a pretty good sense of humor, he's held down a stable good paying job for many years and he usually doesn't play games with me. Unlike a lot of DH's on this site, he actually enjoys spending time with me. He's not one of those dads who hides behind his kids. He likes to do grown up stuff without SS. his main fault is he doesn't fight fair. He fights dirty. He's admitted he does.

He's just immature, manipulative and a condescending jerk when things get heated. He goes way overboard. And he's also
Very stubborn an doesn't like being told what to do. I don't think he realized how much he'd have to accommodate me when I moved in.

I don't know, I may leave at some point, maybe I'm glossing over things too much just because I don't feel like moving.