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Here we go again...

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Mon, 08/21/2006 - 7:07am

Every weekend after visitation I can guarantee that I'll get some sort of email or phone call from bio mom. This weekend the email went like this:

From now on I will just pack ss's lunch along with everything else to save you two the hassle of having to feed him. I’d rather pack his lunch than for you to either order food for him or feed him. Stay away from MY son!

I get so frustrated with her. He goes home and she interrogates him about his day and squeezes every little detail out of him, then calls or emails and gripes at me about everything that she doesn't like. It's so ridiculous. And the bad thing is that he DID eat when he was there and I DIDN'T feed him. I can't understand how someone could be so focused on causing problems! Doesn't she realize that she's going to ruin her relationship with her son if she's not careful?

Comments

Dawn-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Dawn-Moderator on Mon, 08/21/2006 - 2:02pm

Does your husband tell her that she is wrong in her accusations? If he does and she keeps sending those kinds of e-mails, I would just ignore them. Print the e-mails for future reference and just keep doing what you know is right.

Oh, wait, she is the psycho one isn't she? Ok, she won't listen to what anybody says so I would use the e-mails as a portion of the proof that she is harassing you.

Dawn

Candice's picture

Submitted by Candice on Mon, 08/21/2006 - 2:15pm

The unfortunate part of this whole situation is that she is eager to ruin her son's childhood just to be vindictive. I can relate to this situation. Although my ss's biomom never harassed me directly, she would make very negative comments about me and my dh to ss to ruin any happiness he may have experienced visiting us, just so she looks like she is the only provider of fun and excitement.

I'm very sad for your ss. Just keep showing him love and attention, and hopefully she will get tired of harassing you. Apparently she hasn't realized she is wasting so much valuable time focusing on being vindictive, that she is missing out on her own life! Not to mention her son's childhood.

Is she so unnattractive that she cannot find another person to spend her time with? It sounds as if she is focusing every minute of her miserable life on harrassing you that she isn't focusing on moving on.

smof3's picture

Submitted by smof3 on Mon, 08/21/2006 - 2:48pm

I have spent most of my afternoon here reading everyone's issues. Of course we all have opinions for these horror stories. But rather than answer them all and bore everyone with ALL my opinions. I gotta ask, A. why not change your email? B. Why not let Dad deal with the BIO Mom? It amazes me how many of these step mom's are dealing with the EX's
When I first got with my husband I tried to co parent with the evil ex but to no avail. She and her new husband were impossible to deal with. I have enough of my own issues with my children and their father who is in and out of their lives .
One day I thought, to hell with it, life is too short to get caught up in my husband and his ex's mess that they made long before I was in the picture.

I now have no dealings with the ex and her husband. I support my husband and let him vent to me and offer advise but that is my limit . Yes, it is difficult not to call the crazed woman up and defend your husband but it really does no good when the ex is so out of touch with reality .
I try to show affection to my stepkids when they are around and offer support but don't get caught up in the petty nonsense of mom and dad. Blended families are not a cake walk, alliviate some of your stress by letting BIO parent do his or her job. Visitation is not for you and step child ,it is for Dad and child.

happy's picture

Submitted by happy on Mon, 08/21/2006 - 2:58pm

But at the same time.. I do not.. To alleviate stress yes.. So if you as a step parent are expected or asked to drive and do all that the bio mom does, cook, clean, laundry the driving I think you are in someway entitled to a say soo. I let my husbands GF have say because she is a part of there life and to me I am showing her and letting her be a part of there lives.. It does not just take two people to raise kids look around it takes an army, we all depend on Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents.. Seriously..
I wish I could in my mind have your mind set but I can't.. I cannot fatham a woman telling me you can do this but not this.. I may not have given birth to the child but if that child expects all from you I think you have rights..
I hope I am not coming across shitty at all because I am not meaning too..

ACopsWife's picture

Submitted by ACopsWife on Mon, 08/21/2006 - 2:55pm

Change your email address, that way she cant email you anymore. What a stupid a$$ she is!! You have to deal with her, but she is making me mad!! Shes a loser. I bet she is ugly!!! Her attitude contributes to her ugliness. Shes also a poor excuse for a mother. I dont know how you handle it. My heart aches for what you have to go through with her, and i dont even know you. Keep one thing in mind though, you get to her and dont have to do anything, and that's good. Instant revenge!! Sorry you have to go through this. You want me to come give her a good ole' Texas butt whoopin'?.......lol.

smof3's picture

Submitted by smof3 on Mon, 08/21/2006 - 3:30pm

I can see why you feel that you should have voice. Myself on the other hand am not a stay at home mom, I don't do nearly as much as bio mom . My husband has never expected me to be replacment mom
I travel extensively with my job so have the luxuary of not being too involved in his children's lives. Yes, I cook, shop for clothing , help with homework, sit at sporting events and clean up after them but that does not give me the right to make decisons in their life's. I do those things because I love me husband and it allows him do have more quality parenting time with them as visits are so limited. The children know that I have input in what goes on under our roof . But I am not about to involve myself with the ex about a child's weight problem, or daughter wants to shave her legs etc: ..These are just not my battles to fight.

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Mon, 08/21/2006 - 8:20pm

I don't actively involve myself in her ridiculous nutcase actions. Most of the time when she is talking to me I don't even respond unless she claims there is an emergency with her son. I don't respond to her emails and I don't answer the phone when I know she's calling.

I have a pretty big online presence and it would be pretty hard for me to change my email address...but I've been thinking about it. Right now I have it rigged up so that when she emails me something it is sent to a dummy email account that I check once a week or so and deleted off of my real email account. That way I can check it every now and then just to make sure she doesn't have some life-or-death emergency that she needs me for, but I don't have to be pestered day in and day out with her psychotic ramblings.

I agree that it should be mostly his responsibility to deal with her, but when you think about it he had to put up with her for years and years, and by now he's so sick of it that he would rather bathe in glass shards than try (and fail) to have a conversation with her. Really, neither of us have any better of a shot having a rational conversation with her, especially when it comes to trying to get her to realize that she needs to cool it or her actions and harsh words are going to cause some serious consequences in regards to her relationship with her son. She can't fathom the idea that either of us could actually be right and she might not be doing the best thing for her child. She's the miracle mother, don't you know.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*