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number1sm's picture

So, everyone has those horrible days or situations. And everyone always says that "everything happens for a reason". And at the time, you never see it. Sometimes it takes weeks, sometimes months, and maybe even years to see that. But I do really believe that. I have put up with every nasty, bitchy, mean spirited thing imaginable from BM. It has definitely made me see how to treat others. I started a new job last week. DH and I weren't sure what I was going to do with our BD-3. Well, she is being taken care of by my ex husbands wife! I take her over to her and my exes house in the morning and pick her up in the afternoon. I dont think that I would have ever treated a person like I have been treated by BM. But, being treated badly always put it in the front of my mind to never be rude, or judgemental, or make snitty comments. To do whatever it takes to get along and not cause waves where they dont need to be made. I have never and would never say anything bad about her to my ex. We had a very nasty divorce. But, after all the dust settled, we realized that we needed to co-parent our son together-bottom line. I always say she is the best thing that ever happened to him! I truely consider her a friend. I even vent to her about BM sometimes! Smile I just feel SO blessed to have that kind of relationship with her and my ex. To be able to hang out, have a beer together and be friends like we were way back when...Maybe the things I have to put up with from BM are there to be a reminder to me of how not to be. And to remind me to look at the good and count my blessings where they are!


ColorMeGone2's picture

It's always nice to hear a positive story!

♥ ANNE 8102 ♥

StepG's picture

I have kept on numerous occasions my SS's little brother for his BM. She still acts nasty but I try to kill her with kindness. Even though it is hard

The Principlist's picture

to you Number1sm. I too had a good relationship with my BD's SM. In fact ex didn't like the fact that we got along so well, maybe it was because we were so identical (born 2 days apart, same year). We always said that we would have been the bestest of best friends had we met under different circumstances. Daughter is older and I don't intefere with her relationship with BD, so I'm not in contact with them as much, in fact kinda lost touch after their last move. Actually heard they were having marital problems.

I tried to take that same attitude into the relationship with BM, but she wants nothing but all out war. So, I leave her to her own devices and demise. It is good to hear of the positive stories.

I have a girlfriend whose husband was a total a$$ during the marriage. Since the divorce, he is wonderful. The perfect ex, perfect father, etc. Most people assume that they will get back together (NOT) because they get along so well. The reality is that my girlfriend decided she wanted whatever was best for her daughter and they work hard, but they manage to keep her best interests at the forefront of the relationship even though she still considers him a chauvinistic a$$.

Kudos to you, because it sure isn't easy.

My new StepMother's Motto:

When life gives you lemons... Make a damn good Margarita.