I think that you're right. I think it is probably human nature to have more tolerance for a biochild than a stepchild. Just like if we as stepparents have to correct the child, the child will be mad at the stepparent longer than if the bioparent is the one that does the discipline. I tell my husband this all of the time.

I also think that in most situations, the stepchild has another place to go and may already live with the other bioparent anyway. So, it's not like these teens are getting kicked out into the streets.

I'm not looking forward to "the teen" years!!

Dawn

I'm in a situation where bm put's on her fake, transparent face towards my dh, talks like she wants her son discipline, goes along with plan A on how to handle ill mannered son with dad, and then behind closed doors, paints an ugly picture of why dad is a bad father for disciplining son, and here let me buy you a razr...

So, from my perspective, it's totally behavior. This is the first year of my ss's life that I have asked my dh to not really invite, or require that ss comes over for visits unless ss really wants to be there. And my prediction was right, the only reason ss calls his dad is when he wants dad to buy him something.

We can't win with bm, and she is creating a child that is hateful, disrespectful and hard to be around. And since my dh's hands are tied in the legal system, I don't feel that he and I should be punished for her crappy parenting. When the next train wreck blows up in her face, we are going to let her figure it out by herself. Unfortunately, my ss is going to pay the price for it, but that is point I'm driving home.

I know my dh and I can totally handle what ss throws at us, but what we can't handle is her undermining our authority with ss for her own selfish gain. She is really contaminating all his chances of learning any good character or good morals, b/c she want's to look like the "good guy", and it is really stressful to work with, it's literally impossible to make progress raising a child with someone like this. And for that, we are changing our routine, and not necessarily "banning" but limiting ss's time with us until he figures out his bm.

Since I don't have a biochild, it’s hard for me to say. I guess my answer would be "yes" I would probably be more tolerant of my biochild.

I not sure. I guess some of it could be tolerance. However personally I have higher expectations for my bio son than my stepson. I think that I probably let my stepson get away with more because I am not his mom. Where I would stop my bio son dead in his tracks if he acted or said some of the things that his older brother has done.
I also think that a big part of it is how and who the step child spends the majority of time with. For instance if you have the step child full time and he or she starts acting out, it is your parenting style that needs adjustment. Where when the step child lives with other bio parent, you tend to feel like its not you fault they are behaving badly and maybe that their is not much you can do to fix the situation.
Personally I think many children from broken homes are spoiled rotten. They seem to have a control over each parent, in different ways. The one they live with lets them get away with alot in order to keep them from wanting to live with the other parent. And the parent that only gets visitations has a difficult time putting their foot down to bad behavior becasue they only have a limited time with the child and don't want to be the bad guy. And I think that this can really put the stepparent in a difficult situation.
Not an actual answer but some thoughts I had about this topic