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Frustrated at DH and SD

New_to_this's picture

SD16 is generally a good kid - loving, good grades, nice to be around when she's not hormonal, but she is so effing lazy by my standards. Yesterday, she got an attitude with DH because he said he couldn't drive her to a study session and told her to look at a bus schedule instead. She didn't say anything, but got in a super pissy mood with him. That just drove me over the edge. She treats him like her personal driver, yet doesn't expect the same from her mother. When it's BM's week with her kids, SD doesn't do any extracurricular activities. (SD definitely tried to get DH to take her to all her activities during BM's week, but, after BM did a bunch of crappy stuff to us, DH finally stood up for himself and told the skids and BM that BM was solely responsible for the skids on her weeks. He was no longer going to do her role for her)

SD doesn't have the right to be pissy and this is why - She decided to go to a school with a particular specialty that's a half hour (without traffic) from home. But, you know what, that doesn't even matter. When we lived one mile from her school, her lazy a** still wouldn't walk home. She would rather wait at school for up to 2 hours, so DH would pick her up on the way home from work. DH is an idiot, because on those days, he should have forced her to walk. So, SD feels like she deserves to be picked up. DH has always done it, so she's pissed that he's finally putting his foot down.

Plus, I was not a fan of her going to this school. I told DH that he would end up picking her up constantly, like he does at her old school. He said he wouldn't because BM is going to move close to the school, so SD would likely be with her full-time. Yeah, BM isn't reliable for shit, so of course, she never moved. SD gets on DH that she didn't realize that her extra curriculars would be curtailed. Really, SD, you had plenty of time to think about this decision. We told you plenty of times what the pros and cons were. Accept it and get your license or look at the bus schedule! I'm generally calm, but her attitude with DH just riled me up. And since DH wasn't defending himself, I ended up engaging and raising my voice.


Acratopotes's picture

Never ever get involved with SD and DH's business Hon, stay quiet, it's got nothing to do with you, if you do not like the way she screams at him, wait till you are alone with DH and then talk to him about it,
simply tell him to stop allowing it, tomorrow she will scream at a teacher and get expelled, he should simply teach her by showing her the correct way, and say I'm the parent you are the child, show respect to your elders, do this in such a way that DH feel you are backing him up, stroke that ego..... and that he tells SD off next time...

As long as SD is respectful towards you, keep friendly.... her and DH's fights has nothing to do with you, observe and hell record if you have to to get your point across to DH... recording and video'ing worked for me, SO was shocked when he actually heard how he and Aergia speaks to one another

New_to_this's picture

I know, I know. It was hard not to engage. DH told me she got pissy at him when she first asked and he told her to take the bus. He then talked to her later about it and she raised her voice at him. I should've walked away, but I raised my voice to her, since DH wasn't going to.

Acratopotes's picture

I know it's hard to walk away.... but DH could've turned there and then and in front of SD told you to piss off...

next time... record and walk away, or start laughing like a crazy person and make a silly comment like...

Hon... how can you expect poor snowflake to walk... she can't even do dishes .... (ok I'm a bitch)