SS14 is the sole bane of my existence. I'm disengaged, but cordial. Cordial, through clenched teeth because he does not do anything that he's supposed to and constantly lies about it. But, it's DH's problem and I refuse to get involved as SS is mentally and emotionally unstable and has had CPS called on DH twice. I refuse to give him any reason to make complaints about me.

I hate him at this point. He has literally no relationship with DS3, yet SS is with us half the time. He makes no attempt to know his brother and just hides out in the basement when he's with us. I'm now pregnant again and its the same thing. We told the skids that I was pregnant and SD18 was ectastic (she was so excited that she got me more excited about this surprise pregnancy) and SS had no reaction. At least he wasn't angry and sad like when we announced that we were pregnant with DS3. But, he just changed the subject to himself. Now, anytime anyone says anything about my pregnancy, he just starts talking about himself. We don't even talk about the pregnancy around him, but sometimes someone will ask. He even did that in a group chat with DH's extended family. DH announced the pregnancy (about 6 weeks after we told the skids) and SS immediately posted about himself and continued to try and change the subject everytime someone started chatting about the pregnancy.

Then, just yesterday, SD asked him how he was about the pregnancy. Her relationship with him is strained after he did some sh*tty things to her and she is now starting to try to restore the relationship. His response in front of all of us, was that he wasn't sad, he was nuetral. He has no feelings about it. SD and I shared a glance of mutual understanding. Oblivious DH really thinks that SS just hasn't formed an opinion about the pregnancy. SD and I know better. We knew it the last pregnancy and had to explain SS's anger issues to DH. I don't get why DH doesn't get that he has a total problem child. Especially since he totally lost out on spending time with SD during the last 6 months before she left for college because she couldn't stand being around SS and for good reason.

So, last night I laid my feelings about this out to DH. He, of course, tries to defend SS's behavoir. But, he told me two weeks ago that BM wanted to move to a cheaper neighborhood and wanted us to take SS during the weekdays. DH mentioned to her that I was pregnant and that we might want to completely move out of the city and close to my parents, to which she said, that if that was the case, she wanted SS full-time because we would have too much to handle and SS wouldn't get the attention he needs. Yay! And apparently, she kept asking him what I thought about all of this. So, last night, I said that DH should tell her that I want her to have him full-time. We have too much to handle and she now only has him as a minor child, so it's in SS's best interest to be with her wherever she or we end up.

I know DH doesn't want it, but I'm done with SS. He's not attached to us and really doesn't want to be in our family. No amount of therapy has helped him. He wants to be free to do whatever he wants, which is similar in personality to BM, so I think the two of them living together full-time may work out. And, I doubt that him living with us will help him be a better person. I think he is who he is and will just be increasingly resentful that he has to share his father's time with two young siblings.