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lonely's picture

I am new here, but with the same problems for 16 yrs. I have a ss who is 20 and hates me. I have dedicated the last 16 years to supporting him. He has lived with us since he was 11. I became pregnant in 08 and he really laid it on. I basically avoided any confrontations at that time due to the pregnancy. He really laid on the verbal abuse. My husband truly ignores it and stated that he is not going to change. We just have to love him and support him. I am at my wits end with his talking down to me. I have always tried to overlook it, because he is dealing with a divorce. I never diciplined him, because I wanted a healthy relationship. Now he has told m-in-law that I never loved him and she will hardly speak to me. He was the only grandson and guess what I had. Now the m-in-law will not even stop and see the new one due to not wanting to make ss mad. How as an adult SS it has gotten worse instead of better. My DH is about as bad as m-in-law about not showing too much attention to the new baby in front of SS. I am hurt by his behavior. I work a full -time job. My husband will give our money to my SS. When I say he has a job, my DH states that I will see one day. I am just hurt and lonely..

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onehappygirl's picture

It sounds like your SS is a big baby!! He's a poor child dealing with divorce -- 16 YEARS AFTER THE DIVORCE???? He was only 4 years old!! Puh-leez!!! This sounds like a young man who has never been taught manners or decency toward another human being. And it sounds like his Grandmama is egging him on. I have no advice for you, I'm sorry. I wouldn't know where to begin with this. He's an adult, right? Well, if he were getting in my face and talking down to me, I would slap him as hard as I could and tell him to get the hell out of my house. Also sounds like your DH needs to grow a set. My DH and I have four kids together. Anytime ANY of them start getting a bit cheeky, he will drill into them about respect.
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lonely's picture

My M-in-law tells ss that he will always be her baby. She told me that I need to give him time. He is 20.... We just need to not push the new baby too much. It is driving me crazy to keep my mouth shut. To keep the peace. If I ever rock the boat my dh is mad and hurt for days and will say that I just need to try to understand SS situation. He will ask about compassion. Thank you for replying. There may not be help, but it is nice to vent to someone. I was a child of divorce, but DH states that all are different.