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Just A Quick Question

newstepmom2008's picture

I'm not sure what's considered normal. I'm an only child, so my parents never had to worry about bathing me with siblings. I know that often times families with small children give them a tub bath at the same time.

My SS is 5 and my SD is 3. They are still bathing together. I told DH that I wondered if it might be time to stop this. He thinks I'm quite silly and said they are still young and it doesn't matter.

His main concern is to get bath time over with as soon as possible. He hates it so much that I've taken over bath duties. (It doesn't bother me that they want to sit in the water and play. I even got them toys for the water.)

I just don't know if they are getting too old for this.

Any thoughts?

Comments

nelkins08's picture

in Fl. yes it is time for them to bath alone,and if BM gets involed you will for sure have issues even if she does it,but there are places you can call to get information concerning the ages when they should not bath together share a room together all that intresting stuff...

MamaTracy's picture

what about a 5 year old (almost 6 yo)boy showering with his mother? when should that come to an end?

Sita Tara's picture

The last bath they took together they were 2 and 5. It wasn't an age issue, more a "what would they do to get into trouble together" issue.

My first weekend as a single mom, I was in the kitchen (small bungalow so I was really only a room away) checking on dinner in the oven before going back to check on them when I heard, "Stop...she coming!"

I rushed into the bathroom, and they had used their little tikes watering cans to dump several GALLONS of water onto the bathroom floor. Which was CARPETED!

The carpet never smelled the same.

After that, they bathed alone.

I do think with opposite sex sibs you need to stop sooner. Five and three is likely where I'd draw that line because they are both beoming more and more aware and curious about what makes them different.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

StepLightly's picture

My boys are two and a half years apart and would do the same thing! I'm in the same house and 9 years later, my carpet still smells a little funky! Uggh! lol

newstepmom2008's picture

Thank you to everyone who commented, you have all confirmed exactly what I have been thinking. They are both VERY aware of their body parts. BM doesn't try to encourage modesty in any of the children. In fact when we went to pick them up last weekend, the 3 year old grabbed her chest and screamed, "I've got boobies!" The BM didn't say a word. I actually pulled SD aside and explained that a true princess would never say anything like that because it's rude. (SD is into the Disney princesses and fancies herself to be one -- but in a cute way, she is VERY well behaved when she is with us!) She asked why, so I explained that ladies and princesses don't talk about their private parts in public.

Then the next day SD and SS (5) were playing in the family room and I heard a lot of conversations about "peanuts" and "ginas". I thought at this point they were way too old to be in the same tub together! I know BM still bathes them together but I've been trying to explain to DH that it's just not appropriate anymore.

It's been VERY hard for me to try and teach the children modesty when their mother is anything but that! She will live with or sleep with anyone who will pay her bills. 4 days a month is just not enough to really make enough of an impact. I so wish that we could get them more often! But she's scared to death if we have them more, then she'll get her child support reduced.

mediocrityrulesman's picture

My SD is 7, soon to be 8 and she doesnt take baths with my 18 month old daughter. On the other hand, I know she still takes showers with BM. Of course I don't agree with it but it's out of my hands. SD knows she's required to take a shower by herself when she's here and doesnt even bother asking to bathe with my daughter anymore. I bought a kitchen timer and set it before she gets in so she's not in the shower for more than 10 minutes and wasting water that we have to pay for.

It can be a really sensitive subject to some. I know my sister and I were made to take baths together until I was 7 and she was 11. I was also abused by her so its just something I avoid all together.

My other sister who has 2 girls around SD's age still take showers together and at one point when we were over there I wanted SD to get a shower so she could just go home and go to bed, telling my sister that she was to take a shower separate from my nieces. It didn't happen and it frit me to death. Of course children are curious and I just DID not want to deal with (if anything was said or done) BM tearing into me about SD bathing with my nieces. Luckily BM never said anything.
I am slightly paranoid but it's a price I pay just to be that much more reassured of my childrens and SD's safety and privacy.

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" ~ Milton Berle

bellacita's picture

and all they do is play together...well actually, he will stay in her room w her sometimes or take her downstairs to play if we are making dinner or whatever. obviously, those 2 would never bathe together but my point is, w all the crazy BMs alot of us unfortunately have, why would u even risk it? they can accuse us of ANYTHING and then its CPS at our houses investigating nothing...im w mediocrity

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin