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OT-follow up

mommadukes2015's picture

Hey Lovlies. 


So so sorry to dump and run on you but it’s been a crazy couple of weeks. 


MIL has a very rare form of cancer-it’s neuroendocrine cancer that is causing her cushing’s symptoms. She spent a week in the serious hospital in my area and at the beginning of this week was moved to the hospital closer to home for palliative care. 

She has SCLC, which has metastasized to her bones and liver. 

So yeah. Outlook is pretty bleak. This will kill her, now the question is how quickly. Optimistically speaking she has 14 months. Realistically we know it’s likely to be less than that. SO is taking it as well as he can but it clearly hurts deep deep deep. We all are. She’s the best MIL in the world I swear she’s like a best friend to me. 

This pending engagement has been a disrestraction for her. I stayed with her one night last week to give SO a break. I told her my plans, we had a big ol’ discussion about it and how a reverse proposal would make my very traditional SO feel. So we talked about her picking an engagement ring for him to give me (which is presumptive but he tells people at work I’m his wife so that cat is baisically in the bag)-she picked the ring. It is flanked by her emerald birthstones. It arrived today. 

It took everything in my power not to put it on-when I texted her-she’s like put it on and show me! I told her I can’t! Must resist the urge. We settled on putting on the wrong finger which means we didn’t technically cheat on our own rules. 

So on the bright side, it gives everyone-SO’s whole family something to talk to her about but not SO. I have come so close to cracking so many times. But I know how important it is to him to have his kids-SS14 and SD9 included and they both know. BD5 doesn’t because she can’t keep a damn secret. So. Yup. Keeping secrets from my own kid. 

Anyway, thank you all so much for your responses-I read them and then forgot what I changed my password to, and have been crazy ever since. I appreciate the support and the real talk-you guys really are the best.

So stay tuned-hopefully my next post is about how well it went and how much better MIL is feeling after her treatment <3 


Lollybobs's picture

I feel for you mommadukes. My dad was diagnosed with cancer and of course the medical staff are always wary about giving a timescale. The consultant indicated we were looking at weeks rather than months then he was admitted to hospital 2 days after the diagnosis. Each day I went to visit he was clearly getting worse and in the end I really lost my shit with the staff and said with their experience they must be able to indicate a more realistic timeframe. At this point they admitted it was likely to be days.

We had already decided that we would get married at some point in the future but when my dad asked my DH to look after me, we knew we were up against the clock. We rushed to buy an engagement ring and explained to the jeweller's shop the urgency of the situation. They pulled out all the stops to amend the size and we were able to dash back to the hospital with a ring on my finger. Dad died 5 days later and that ring was pretty much the only thing that put a smile on his face those last couple of days.

Aunt Agatha's picture

So glad you are able to make this time brighter for her.

Iamwoman's picture

Are you in the USA? If so, she may be eligible to be a part of the CAR-T clinical trial at Moffitt Cancer Center. This trial has a 90% success rate for hematological and lymphatic cancers.

CLove's picture

and thanks for the updates.

Hugs for your MIL, and healing prayers as well.