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Little petty victories

momjeans's picture

Skid is currently Student Of The Month. She’s consistently an honor roll student, we’re already aware of this, but apparently it was newsworthy enough to consume an entire evening of group texting about it.

DH and I put the littles to bed last night (they go to bed early - like 7:00/7:30) then sat down to watch Seth Meyer’s stand-up on Netflix. DH’s phone starts going off nonstop with a group text between him, skid, and both of his parents. DH says it’s about skid’s Student Of The Month. 

It’s never enough for just DH and skid to communicate. Nah, DH’s enmeshed, gatekeeper parents always have to include themselves, by creating a group text love fest, outside of their own already frequent communication with skid. 

Thankfully, a friend of mine that I loaned a standing heater unit to randomly called last night to let me know they were available to drop it off - and when was a good time. 

Now. Now would be great, I told my friend.

If DH was willing to get sucked into group text overkill, I was willing to have a friend over for some conversation and wine in our kitchen (and heater return, or course). Shrug. 


2nd wives club's picture

Are they planning a ticker tape parade for the little angel?

My ILs are like that too. FIL was watching OSS' game online during his mom's wake, and when OSS came on to pitch, he yelled, "MIL, OSS IS PITCHING!".  One of DH's cousins mocked FIL later on in the evening, yelling out the same thing and cracked everyone up. lol

Do they get annoyed that you're not a fan club member?


momjeans's picture

“Do they get annoyed that you're not a fan club member?”

My in-laws HATE it and it’s the most glorious feeling ever. 

My in-laws do that too. If something is being live streamed of skid, they’re right there glued to their phones watching it and sharing it on social media.

They sent skid to a Jesus Camp style bible camp this summer in Virginia and there were a lot of live stream shares of skid leading prayer, singing, etcetera.

notarelative's picture

 FIL was watching OSS' game online during his mom's wake 

If I have the family line correct, this was the wake of FIL's mother who was OSS's great grandmother. So baseball topps family wake. So disrespectful on so many levels.


susanm's picture

The cult of the child.  Maybe serve Kool-Aid this Thanksgiving and just smile to yourself at the inside joke?

susanm's picture

Thanks for getting the joke!  I was a bit concerned that a "Jim Jones Cocktail" reference might be a bit dated for the group.  LOL  (goes to put on some Ben-Gay and see how my pet rock is doing)

advice.only2's picture

This is why kids today are so shocked when they get out in the real world and nobody is impressed that they wiped their own a$$ after using the restroom.

momjeans's picture


Skid’s uncle (BM’s brother) has told DH and I to our faces “Skid is the most important in all of this. She needs to remain the center of people’s universe.”

MIL in the past has said to me “Skid is top priority.” She has tried to backpedal on ever making that statement to my face, out of earshot of DH, but nah, she’s going to forever own that. 

advice.only2's picture

WOW! DH's parent's worship at the feet of Spawn, and really never had any use for me and DH's kids. It's fine she doesn't talk to any of them or visit them, but hey that's the grandkid they chose to be theirs, so kiddos to them.

momjeans's picture

My in-laws have 5 grandchilden and 1 great-grandchild.

Skid, their first grandchild from one of their own children (my FIL has two daughters from his first marriage) is numero uno in their eyes.

My SIL (one of FIL’s daughters) told me that her daughter, FIL’s first grandchild, was never acknowledged, and still isn’t, because my MIL wanted nothing to do with it. 

So, of course once DH and BM had skid, it was FIL and MIL’s Lion King *and* monkey moment. 

It goes without saying that BIL’s young daughter is their second fave. Eye roll. 

futurobrillante99's picture

Playing favorites is a shitty thing to do. If you ask each one of my kids who MY favorite is, they will say another one of the kids. DD26 thinks it's DS23. DS29 thinks it's DD26. DS23 thinks it's DS29.

That's because I DO NOT have a favorite. I truly do love each of my children equally. At any given moment, one of them might be annoying or easier to get along with, but it's always changing due to the situation at hand.

Their father has favorites. The girl is his #1, followed by DS29 and DS23 gets stinking last place (because he and his dad are so much alike).


momjeans's picture

I agree.

Favoritism towards skid is one of the very first things I noticed about my in-laws. Nine years later, nothing has changed.

classyNJ's picture

Just curious - sorry I haven't read all your blogs - how do the IL's treat your children with DH? Would they do the same thing over your children?

momjeans's picture

They are kind and loving with our children, but it’s a different dynamic for them (in-laws), which has taken them quite a few years to accept and abide by, in which they’re not going to steamroll me and my role as my children’s mother, and thinking they have authority to make executive decisions like they do with skid - disregarding DH’s authority. 

In addition to that, I have very clear and firm boundaries with my in-laws when it comes to publicly sharing photos and videos of our young children on social media. My in-laws have been very pearl-clutching with “rules,” thinking they can just bypass me, because DH, their son, is the dad and he rarely ever stands-up to them. 

Halloween 2018, DH must have sent photos to FIL, because I didn’t and never do, and FIL posted them as “public” on Facebook. In turn, those photos were shared by his “friends,” absolute strangers to me. So, all of a sudden photos of my children’s faces were floating around there. 

I told FIL to remove those photos immediately, and he did. He’s not too fond of me, a woman, that stands up to him. He’s very old school southern evangelical.


momjeans's picture

Oh, and also... FIL got a DUI in 2016 with skid in the car.

Apparently, he passed out at the wheel and went off the road and hit a tree. He doesn’t drink, but he does pop pills like Ambien at night, and Adderall in the day. 

Ever since that event, he has been banned from ever getting behind the wheel of a car with my children in it. He absolutely hates that I dictate this and actively enforce it with MIL, reminding her he’s not to drive with my kids in the car.